At the moment, I’m applying to UC on rolling admission so I’m not really worried about my essay being brilliant. However, the topic seems… unprofessional? And the third paragraph seems out of place with the rest of the essay. I’d really appreciate experienced readers giving me some feedback.
Edit: I also have to write a personal statement for UC, with a prompt along the lines of “If you could create a student club, what would it be and why would it benefit our community?” and I have no idea as to how to approach this…