<p>I'm looking for a boarding school for my daughter. She will be in 11th grade next year. We are a middle class family, and can afford $20k/yr on boarding school because of generous relatives. She is a very nice girl, but is unhappy living with my husband and me. She longs for independence, and wants to fly the nest. I guess my little girl has outgrown us :(( I know that she is ready for being independent, and it's probably for the best, but of course I'll be sad to see her go. She's already pretty independent. She planned a 250 mile 7 day trip this summer with just the very scarce public transit this summer to a festival, took the trip alone, raised all the money herself. She's also fared well at overnight summer camps and was a counselor.</p>
<p>She is also very motivated, and she has said that she will make sure to be living on her own within the next few months. So knowing her, she will without a doubt follow through. I would much rather have her in boarding school than struggling to support herself in an apartment and local public school at 16 with her minimum wage fast food job (which was her original plan; she had a budget, already has potential roommates at local community college, saved $500 from her job). The thing is, we only got knew she was serious about this plan to move out 2 weeks ago. We thought she was joking, but it is now apparent that she is completely serious about flying the nest. </p>
<p>She hadn't really even considered boarding schools before, because "they're just for rich people, right?" :)) She is very excited with some of the schools she has researched and agrees that boarding school would be better than trying to support herself in an apartment. Anyways, what schools are still accepting applicants (and that we can afford)? It doesn't matter where in the US it is. She would prefer a very community-based and supportive school, wouldn't go to an authoritarian pressure-cooker. She is most interested in sciences, especially scientific research/science fair, but would like a decent band program, as she has been the first chair since 8th grade and is very bored with it. We want a school that is academically challenging for her. We would also like to see that she is required to exercise 5 days a week (our public school has NO pe classes and NO sports). She would be perfectly happy going to a second-tier/less prestigious school. I imagine that she could have gotten into one of the top schools if she had applied earlier. She has only taken the PSAT and SAT (7th and 10th grade).</p>
<p>One final concern: the recommendation letters. The classes at her current school aren't very interactive, and students barely know the teachers. This is true of almost all students in the school. How can she ask a teacher to write her a letter of recommendation when the teachers hardly know her? </p>
<p>You would need to get a good amount of FA from these places, and sometimes that’s half the battle. The only school that I applied to with rolling admissions was Christchurch School in VA. Very pretty area, very rural, and the school is right on the Raphannock River. They try to incorporate “the river” into every subject when possible because they see it as a unique way to get students hands on and excited about learning. They do a lot of cool marine biology stuff with the river. There is a sports requirement; practices and/or games are 5, sometimes 6 (if I remember correctly) days a week. You can try something new or continue a sport you’ve done forever there. It’s totally up to you. They have a band program; I know the arts program as a whole is not incredibly developed (I actually had a hard time finding anything on their website about it) but they do have one. There’s plays, a chorus and a band, music lessons, and art classes. How advanced their band is I’m not sure, but you could find out by emailing their band director. His email should be on the website: <a href=“http://www.christchurchschool.org”>www.christchurchschool.org</a>. </p>
<p>I applied, was accepted, really liked it, but I had 2 other acceptances from really great New England schools, and in the end I went with a New England school. A lot of it had to do with size; Christchurch is pretty small and the school I went with is quite large. I’ve been at small private schools for years and I wanted something bigger. I was given generous FA from Chrustchurch, about 80%, and we could’ve afforded that. They are also looking to build up their girl boarding program, so now is a good time to apply. Boys have been boarders and day students since the school opened in the 1920’s, girl day students were added in the 1970’s, and girl boarders were added in 2012. </p>
<p>PM me if you’d like to know more about Christchurch. Good luck!</p>
<p>Oh, and as far as the recommendations go: my guidance counselor didn’t know me that well when I started the application process and asked for recommendations. We sat down, and she just asked me some questions and we talked about me, what activities I do, etc. and she could get a feel for who I was through that conversation to accurately write about me on the recommendations. Your daughters teachers may or may not do this. If this doesn’t happen, just have the teachers write them and send them off; they at least have her grades to talk about. You can explain to the admissions people why the recommendations were so bland, non-specific, etc. after the teachers turn them in. They should be understanding, as your daughters’ teachers teaching styles aren’t your fault and the recommendations are beyond your control.</p>
<p>Is it even legal for a minor to move out on her own without some kind of court proceedings? I think the boarding school idea is a good compromise to this idea, and I hope this works out. While it is pretty common for teens to have conflicts with their parents, a teen making serious plans to move out is more unusual. She seems to be determined, and also responsible, so I think you have come up with a good solution for her to leave home while still being kept safe and getting an education.
Your daughter might qualify for an early college program. I think Mary Baldwin College has an Early College Academy where female high school students can start college early. Bard College at Simon’s Rock has an early college program too.</p>
<p>It is legal for her to move out as long as we approve. If the parents don’t approve, they can file a runaway report & forcibly take their kid home. Or they can be emancipated so that parental approval doesn’t matter. She was sent a brochure from Simon’s rock but I don’t think she’s very interested in it, but I’ll mention Mary Baldwin. Thank you!</p>
<p>This has to be very hard for you, but with her being so determined, going away to school seems like a great idea especially since she seems motivated to do it. I don’t know how admissions works or what is open at the moment, but it is certainly worth a try. I hope this works out for you all.</p>
<p>A more affordable and plausible alternative at this point is to consider exchange programs like AFS. She sounds like a bright kid who is ready for an adventure and independence.</p>
<p>Exchange, study-abroad, even maybe living with a relative in a guesthouse or small apartment? </p>
<p>If Christchurch needs the SSAT, I would call them and talk to them about your situation. Send in PSAT and SAT scores, if she is applying to be a junior. A lot of kids will repeat tenth grade for better admissions statistics, and that will need the SSAT. However, there are slots for juniors, and, if she is above their typical admissions standards (which she sounds like she may be), they may want to accept her. Good luck!</p>
<p>I think Christchurch would accept SAT scores over SSAT scores given your daughters age. Call or email their admissions office to double check. Their acceptance rate is 63% so she’s got a pretty good shot of getting in. I actually had a tour guide who was a new junior boarder (she’s a senior now). I think they’d like your daughter’s will to be independent and the fact that she would be a female border helps her out a lot.</p>
<p>Is your daughter prepared for rules that may be stricter than at home? I just wanted to mention it since you mentioned she wants to be “independent”. Boarding schools, in general, have quite a few rules since they are responsible for all the kids in loco parentis… I would have her read the handbook for any school you are considering to make sure she is willing to follow anything required.</p>
<p>I agree with @london203. If your daughter just needs to live away from home, boarding school could be a great option. But if she wants to live on her own, then it might not be the best option, and you’d need to look into actually getting her an apartment. Another option might be building out a basement or guesthouse with some supplementary money that she could move into. You simply need to make sure boarding school will meet her needs, considering the abundance of rules, strict teachers, and the like.</p>
<p>The reality is that it will be extremely difficult at this point to find a good school AND get financial aid. I think the suggestion to look into study abroad/exchanges is probably a better route.</p>
<p>The point about school rules really needs to be taken seriously. My daughter has far fewer rules at home. She has a curfew for the first time in her life, for instance. My d is the same age as yours and likewise very independent. The difference is that what made her unfullfilled at home wasnt living at home with her family. She would have had the same malaise living in an apartment.</p>
<p>The schools that offer the most independence are also the ones that are hardest to get in to.</p>
<p>Could she get in to college? I went young. It was fine. It’s also late for that, but if her scores are good and you live in a state where she can take the GED at her age, maybe she could still go to a state school. I’m assuming that she’s academically ready for college.</p>