Lost and unsure of future

College Majors
1

The topic of this post can be summed up by the title. Specs:
-I’m a junior in college
-Majoring in International Politics - National Security and minoring in Planetary Science & Astronomy
-My to main “interests” my entire life have been astronomy/space and politics (but specifically elections and international affairs; not running for offices)
-I began college at a small, local branch campus of my university for the first 2 years. This is my first semester at the main campus.

Problem: I have conflicting and unclear thoughts about what I want to do in my life. It seems that no matter what idea I entertain I am unhappy in some way. I’ve come to realize that my dream career doesn’t really exist anywhere that I can point to specifically. I began college majoring in Physics, quickly changed to Political Science, briefly back to Physics, back to Political Science again, and most recently narrowed it down to National Security. I decided to minor in Planetary Science and Astronomy because I still dream of making that part of my career. This minor is very conceptual and not math-heavy.

I attended our career fair this week and picked out about 7 employers, mostly government agencies including NSA and NRO, that bend towards my National Security major. Although I did meet with the NSA and NRO about internships and my studies DO meet their desired needs, I had a few other employers on my list who were only looking for more STEM-based or technical expertise. Engineers, computer scientists, data experts, etc. Then it began to hit me: the Liberal Arts International Politics - National Security major feels shallow. Looking ahead at my recommended academic plan, I would take courses in world history, international conflicts, terrorism, a criminology course, and a security and risk analysis course. But it doesn’t really teach me any hard technical skills that seem to be popular for most companies.

Now to my personality/character: I’ve always been an extreme “idealist” in my thinking, meaning that I naturally desire and expect situations and things to be perfect and perfectly satisfying. I’m also a very future-oriented person and I often overlook the minor concerns and tasks of the day and instead spend my time constantly thinking about the future, mostly of which seem like fantasy as of now. I’m very introverted and have no social life. I can talk to people well and have good communication skills, but I’ve always felt isolated from society in a way that’s hard to explain. I think it’s just the fact that my interests and my thoughts don’t align with most people, so I’ve never built strong bonds with anybody. In general, I don’t like to spend my time doing “pointless” things just for fun; I’m a work-oriented person and I spend all my time doing things that make me feel like I am learning or contributing something important to the world, even if that sometimes means obsessively reading online about things I’m interested in.

If you were to ask me, “What is the one most important thing in the world to you or for our human society?” my answer would be this…
*Space exploration and expansion

I’ve always been a huge astronomy and space geek (Star Wars movies, all the space movies like Gravity, Mars, etc.), but in a serious way too. I idolize people like Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye, and Elon Musk. I firmly believe that in order for our civilization to have a more significant meaning in the universe and to survive beyond the life of the sun and planet Earth, we are going to have to expand to other worlds.

Why aren’t I majoring in Physics or Astronomy, you might ask? Because the high-level math was very difficult for me and was afraid to fail at it. I had great Physics and Astronomy teachers in high school but in college I had a couple of below-average professors right off the bat and it totally discouraged me. In addition, I’ve done the research on Astronomy majors and I know that you really need a PhD in Astronomy to do anything significant or to make a high salary. And if I’m going to fail at the math, then I would just fail at life and end up nowhere. And I’ve also heard that the job opportunities are short and highly competitive and if you end up working as a researcher, a lot of your time is spent writing requests for grants just so that you can DO research at all. The main issue though was the math; I got frustrated quickly. I’ve always been in love with the conceptual ideas of astronomy, stars, planets, black holes, relativity, etc. But chemistry? Hated the class. Calculus? Hated the class. If I hated learning it, how could I ever enjoy using it every day of my life?

But now that I attended the career fair and see how many companies are really looking for STEM degrees, it seems that liberal arts majors seem to be very limiting (even my National Security major). Sure, I guess I could work for the NSA or NRO. But will I just sit at a desk working in a computer program all day? I’m not sure I want to do that.

So I’m stuck. I don’t know where to go. I’m not an arrogant person by any means, but I feel like nothing fits me and I want to “do my own thing.” I always used to be a big supporter and advocate of higher public education and believed it was basically required to get anywhere in the world, but now I’m questioning everything. I’ve already taken out several dozen thousand dollars in student loans just to pay for college because I come from a lower-middle class family. I’m also a first-generation college student so I’ve never had the luxury of having a mentor or someone to help guide me. The best I have is my uncle who only took a few courses at a community college and then dropped out to start his own flooring business. Now he invests and he has taught me a lot about finances, saving money, etc. And I’m also unhappy because the money that I earned at my job over the last 4 years is all being used up to pay my rent at my college apartment. And I fear not having money, too, because that means you can’t do anything.

And so I’m lost and questioning anything and everything. I’m becoming incredibly indecisive and it’s not healthy. And I’m not interested in talking to career counselors at my school because they are part of the “narrow school system” and can’t offer me unbiased advice, especially financially. I’m looking beyond this enclosure now.

Can anyone help me? I’m sorry I can’t indicate exactly what I want. It’s my fault; I’m just reaching for any kind of help I can get at this point. Thanks.

2

Finish your degree without taking extra semesters. See if you can get work in your major field and try it for a couple of years. But don’t be the guy who is too “forward thinking” to track and execute the tasks you are hired to do (your employment won’t last long if you don’t fix this). Keep astronomy as a hobby for now. Join clubs, volunteer at a local planetarium, read about it, etc.

If you aren’t happy in you chosen field after working a couple of years, take stock of your options then. But finish your degree and try working in the field, and pursuing your other interests as a hobby.

FYI, I’m also someone who is super interested in space exploration, but don’t work in that field. You can still have a happy life with it as a side interest.

3

@MrElculver2424: I think that you are asking very good questions that unfortunately don’t have an easy answer. From your post it is clear that you are smart and write very well. It is unusual to see such a long post on this web site that I actually want to read all of carefully, and then reread again. It is not unusual for smart people to take some time to figure out what they want to do with their lives.

It would not shock me if you end up wanting to do something that requires graduate school. Law came to mind as one option reading your post. However, graduate or law school can be expensive, and given how much debt you already have built up you probably need to pay this off first. As such I am tempted to agree with @intparent: Finish your bachelor’s degree on time with as little debt as is practical. Find whatever job you can which uses as many of your intellectual talents as you can, pay off your debt as quickly as you can, and pay attention to the world (I am pretty confident that we will have “interesting” times over the next 8 years). Working will give you another perspective on the world, which might help you to think about what you want to do with your next 40 years or so.

It also occurs to me that you might want to see if there is something that you can do, at least in the short term, that involves writing. I can also see possible long term possibilities here but frankly I don’t think that people actually have much to write about from their own experience and knowledge until they have had time to live enough to have enough experience to be worth writing about. This too takes some time.

I don’t think that you want to go to graduate school right after graduation for two reasons: One is that you probably can’t afford it. Just as important is that you probably don’t know what to study, and you don’t want to go further in debt to go to a graduate school in the wrong field.

I am sorry if this doesn’t answer your question.

4

@intparent Thanks for your imput. I guess that is the best option available right now, so that’s what I’ll try to do.

@DadTwoGirls Thank you so much for the compliment on my writing and for taking the time to read my entire post. Sometimes I do forget that people always tell me that I’m a really good writer. I’ve always been good at explaining even complicated things in very understandable, sophisticated ways. What have I been thinking? You’re totally right; I should look for ways to get writing into my work because it comes naturally to me and apparently I write well. And yeah, it looks like my best option is just to finish out the National Security degree ASAP and look for work, because I definitely don’t think graduate school is a good financial option at this point. I agree that the next decade is going to be a very “interesting time” and I see new careers and fields opening up that maybe will be options for me. I try to think back to what my high school astronomy teacher whom I was close with told me: she literally told me she sees me doing something that doesn’t exist yet. So I have to remember that as some inspiration as well. Thanks again for your reply!

5

The most significant thing to me you said in your post was that you didn’t major in Astronomy and Physics because the high level math was difficult and you were afraid you would fail. There’s your answer - this is your passion yet you avoided it because of the fear of failure. Time to face that fear. You are young. You don’t want to look back with regrets or wonder, “what if…”. Get to work and make it happen. You can do it. Good luck!

Make sure you get to the financial aid office and or school counselor to find out all the finance options that are available to you. As a first gen and lower economic status I believe there are grants and scholarships available to you that you may not be aware of.

6

Take as many classes as you can about the history of the countries in the region you’re specializing in. (If you don’t have a specialty area, find one.)
Since you’re interested in elections, can you coherently discuss what happened in Kenya?
Contrast that to Togo or Cameroon? South Africa? How are Myanmar and Bhutan different? Thailand? The two Koreas? What happened since the Umbrella Protests ? How are Ukraine’s and Georgia’s invasion similar different?
Add some cybersecurity classes and/or language classes from that region. A minor in that will be more useful to your career than your current minor, although you should still take classes in it for personal interest.
You could have 2 classes for your major, one cybersecurity pre-req, one language, one astronomy for three semesters, then your last semester senior year whatever you still need + whatever seems interesting.

7

@Empireapple Well…that is the truth I guess. It is true that I pushed aside my deepest passion because of fear of failure (I’m a perfectionist). I mean, sometimes it’s OK to push aside your deepest passion in life…if you will make a better living and be happier doing something more “useful.” I’ve heard many advisers say follow the best opportunities; not necessarily your “passion.”

But I don’t know that my chosen field (International Politics - National Security) is any more useful than Physics or Astronomy would have been. Physics/Astronomy could probably get me into the same agencies and organizations that National Security would, and probably more, and make me more useful too.

But the problem is money. If I were to change it again back to Physics/Astronomy, I would delay my graduation by a year and 1/2 to 2 years. That means more student debt. I could search for more scholarships I guess.

But if I finish out my National Security degree and then decide in the future to go back for a Physics undergrad degree, I’ve heard that I wouldn’t be eligible for any grants because I already have a bachelor.

8

I’m not sure I agree that this is the best course of action for a junior still unsure of his/her major.

Another potential approach is to stop the clock (withdraw and get a refund if the deadline hasn’t passed), or maybe finish the semester if your already too far in. I can’t understand how borrowing money to continue beyond general eds on a path that isn’t leading you where you want to go, and that could potentially eliminate any future financial aid (because you graduate) is a good one. If you really hated the STEM subjects, then don’t change back to them.

You need to choose a direction for your life from among realistic available options.

Can you take spring semester off and get an internship at NSA or NRO and see if you like the work. Then finish your degree a little late. Can you learn what requirements there are to join the FBI or CIA, and then continue your degree in that direction.

I hate to see you waste your money and spin your wheels without getting traction.

9

@ClassicRockerDad I don’t want to keep spinning my wheels without getting traction either. And finances/debt is a big player in the game.

But I just don’t know that my heart is truly in International Politics - National Security. I’m starting to feel like my 2 passions that I mentioned in the original post should be reversed. Astronomy/Space is my deepest passion, and maybe weighing in on politics should be the side hobby.

The problem with changing back to STEM is I can’t just major in astronomy (easier) because you can’t get a job with just a bachelors in Astronomy. I would have to do physics or maybe even aerospace engineering, which is math heavy. Could I do it? I think I do have it in me.

Let me give you a quick example of how I did in two similar-level college classes. I took Chemistry 110 (Chemical Principles) a few semesters ago. Had a horrible professor who was just bad at teaching and explaining things. Killed all curiosity and love for science. I also took this during a normal semester alongside 4 other classes. I got a C-.

Just this summer I took MATH 140 (Calculus with analytical geometry). It was one of only 2 classes I took this summer, alongside an online class. I had a fantastic professor who I also had for two previous math classes (Statistics and Trigonometry). I got an A in MATH 140. I also got As in Statistics and Trig with that same professor.

So I know I have it in me to learn the high level math. I’ve demonstrated that. I just need to be able to dedicate enough time and effort to it and stick with it even when I get frustrated. That’s the challenge. It doesn’t work well with a perfectionist mind like mine. I’d have to figure out how to destroy my perfectionism for my own good.

If I were to change back to Physics or maybe even Aerospace Engineering now, I would delay my graduation around 2 years. But perhaps that might be the best decision…even financially. Because the average salary for an intelligence analyst is $77,000 a year. For physicists and aerospace engineers it is over $110,000.

Looking back, the STEM subjects that I didn’t enjoy were just chemistry and a little bit of calculus. But I’ve always had a natural curiosity in physics. It was just the extremely rigorous pace of AP Physics in high school that was difficult. I got a B in that class, which I think you would agree is not bad at all. It’s Advanced Placement level.

I have applied to internships with the CIA and was planning to do so for the FBI, but I highly doubt I’d get them. My resume is very thin compared to other candidates. I have no practical experience in anything yet and that puts me behind the game.

10

My concern is figuring this out while the clock is running. The first rule of digging out of a hole is to stop digging. If it’s too late to drop this semester, take a leave for the next one. If you can’t get an internship doing something relevant, do free online learning and convince yourself that you are willing to put in what is required to MASTER this material. That means learning it well enough to teach it, being able to do the hardest problems, etc. You really do need to know if you can do this because you are considering investing a lot of money in something that you really have little evidence that you can succeed at. Having bad teachers is no excuse. You need to be able to learn the material anyway. You need to overcome bad teaching.

I’m not saying that you can’t succeed in aerospace, I’m saying that you need to figure out if you can before you invest more money or go further into debt.

11

@ClassicRockerDad I just found this website:
https://www.edx.org

But I don’t get it. Why would I go into thousands in debt if I can apparently take all these courses online? I get the whole personal experience thing… but what exactly is this website then?

I think I’m too far into this semester now so I’ll have to finish it out. What I do next semester is up in the air I guess.

12

Because you get a bachelor’s degree by taking courses through a university, and employers (for those specific jobs) want a degree. Maybe in the future it won’t be that way.

13

So if I decide to pursue my true passion and switch back to Physics or Aerospace Engineering and take on the challenge of math, I would have to late drop a couple of my current courses that would become pointless to finish out and could have the potential to hurt my GPA. Then maybe I could take a few basic fundamental Physics and math courses back home at my local community college to save money, and I could return to my job of the last 4 years to make an income in the mean time…they’d welcome me back right away. I’d have to take a leave of absence from my university and then return later. An f’ed up situation, but whatever.

14

Before you withdraw check the tuition adjustment schedule and see how much money you will get back. If it isn’t a lot, you might as well finish the semester. I don’t know when classes started, but if you’re like a month in, then you’ve already spent the money.

15

Slow down and Breathe. Do not make any hasty decisions. Be sure to get input from trusted adults who know you, and not just parents.

Reach out to that favorite high school teacher who believes in you. Make a pro/con list for careers. Ask college professors.

In the real world, people work in fields they did not study or major in during college.

Also make a list of your knowledge and skills. Writing should be at the top of this list. I suggest you gather random data from the parents forum here. Start a new post and ask what kinds of writing jobs they have, or how they use writing skills in their non-writing focused job. You could discover that writing is your ticket to a good job.

Always think Big Picture. Worst case scenario is leaving college, never completing a degree, and still having to pay back huge student loans. That needs to be present in your mind as you make decisions. If you are not taking classes somewhere, your student loans come due in six months. You need to confirm details of whether part-time college classes will keep your loans deferred, or if it requires full-time enrollment. Get that information from your financial aid office.

Think outside the box and see if you can create an interdisciplinary degree from your current transcript and your passions. Or go through your college catalog and see what other majors would be easiest to complete on time. I know someone who had to give up their music major due to a severe hand injury. They ended up switching to the only major they could complete without adding more semesters.

The world is changing so fast, it is hard to know what job to shoot for. I say get the degree, any degree as fast as you can. If you get hired with a major company, they may pay you to complete a grad degree later.

I also know someone who got hired with a government agency. Their foreign language was key. Not just That they took x number of courses in college, but a true mastery of the language.

Studying the world, knowing history, seeing patterns, digging deep, and being able to articulate your knowledge as well-written analysis is a great way to change the world. Those papers get shuffled along to politicians and decision makers, and make a huge impact. So do not discount your writing abilities and your current degree.

Go after every internship, and get the best recommendation letters you can. An internship will give you practical experience where you test your interest and skills. But again, remember to watch the clock for student loans. I don’t know how loans work with internships, so find out from your financial aid office.

16

@ClassicRockerDad I don’t think I would want to withdraw entirely because that would likely make my loan repayment start in 6 months, which I probably don’t want to do. I might be able to just drop 2 of my classes that would become pointless and contain assignments that I have no motivation to do and could therefore hurt my GPA if I don’t drop those classes.

I took less than full-time credits in the Fall of 2016 and there were initial problems with my loan repayments kicking in but we got it sorted out and they pushed them back until I graduate (or leave entirely).

17

So I talked with a general academic adviser about this situation. She definitely believes that if my heart and dedication is in science and I will be happier with the career opportunities, I should go for it.

She basically ruled out aerospace engineering because it’s a controlled major and they likely wouldn’t admit me at this point.

But she gave me a list of science majors that could be options, some of which might let me graduate earlier than physics and still have career bridges to the space industry:
Geophysics
Earth Science & Policy
Geography
Geosciences
Science - Government and Policy option

She said the adviser next door majored in Earth Science and now has contracts with NASA and got to control one of the Mars rovers. So basically she apologized for throwing more majors at me but said there’s no one way to get into the space field and that I should consider them all and meet with a science adviser to further discuss it.

18

^OK, pause for a second.

Are you passionate about space or are you truly interested in physics and astronomy? Because those are two different things.

I love space, too. I’ve always been fascinated by astronomy, and I love Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Bill Nye. I get really into space - to the sense that I loved the movie Interstellar even though I think it was boring because of how “hard” the science fiction was, and I was disappointed by Gravity even though it was a better movie because the science was ALL WRONG.

But there’s a difference between

  1. being deeply interested in space and astronomy as a sort of hobby, even a deeply practiced one;
  2. being deeply interested in space and astronomy and tying it into your career somehow - like science or space policy; and
  3. being deeply interested in the study of physics/astronomy/planetary sciences.

The thing that worries me is that you hated the math. It’s not just that you were afraid to fail; you actually didn’t enjoy it. High-level physics is essentially applied math, including lots of calculus. If you don’t really like the math, and it makes you miserable to do it, you are going to have a very challenging time trying to finish a math-based major like physics or geophysics. And if you hated chemistry, a lot of the geosciences and earth sciences classes may also frustrate you, since a lot of them rely on chemistry.

Geography is a good alternative option. Geography is essentially the study of social, political, economics, and ecological processes and how they influence human relations and life on the globe. Some geography majors are more sciences/geosciences focused, and some are more social/economic sciences focused (and some departments offer both concentrations or a BA and a BS). It’s a good major that will allow you to incorporate basically as much science and math as you can handle, and will teach you some good technical skills (like GIS) if you take the right coursework. And there’s room for planetary sciences in geography.

The government and policy options in those science majors may also be good choices, too. There’s a strong need for people who understand science and technology but also have the skills and knowledge in politics and government as well - so they can advise legislators and other politicians on the appropriate choices to make in those areas and complete research that will influence their choices. (Not all researchers have PhDs, and you don’t need a PhD to do something significant. It simply depends on what you’re trying to do.)

All I’m saying is just be careful when you proceed forward. Don’t get so caught up in the idealized content of a major that you forget about the skills and tools necessary to accomplish that major.

Also, it’s totally normal for a junior in college to be conflicted and uncertain about where he wants to go next. You’re still young and have plenty of time to decide on a career.

19

@juillet Thanks for the response. You raise a lot of good points.

I guess I don’t really know where I stand on the math. I may have said I hated it, but it may be that I hated it because I was afraid to fail, and I hate failing. I have to feel that I am succeeding at something in order to be happy. I can’t say that I naturally LOVE all math, but I’m not sure I should’ve implied that I hated it either. It could just be that I copped out and gave up because it was difficult and I didn’t want to do poorly.

I know that professors are no excuse for how you perform in a class, but thinking into the past, the reality is that the quality of the teacher DID have an influence on how much I enjoyed the math.

High school:
Pre-Calculus: Good teacher who explained the usefulness of what we learned and instructed with clarity. I was fine with the class. B+
Calculus: Poor teacher who was confusing and did not bring in real life applications. Didn’t enjoy it; didn’t study, got a C.
AP Physics: REALLY fun teacher…totally awesome and made it enjoyable. I LOVED the class and the math was fine. Got a B.

College:
Chemistry: Really poor professor who couldn’t teach. Would always show up unprepared. No motivation = not much enjoyment, not much studying = C+ grade
Statistics AND Calculus w/ Analytical Geometry: Great professor, excellent at explaining things clearly and including real-life applications. I enjoyed him and the class. He knew me well personally. Got him to sign my calculator as a reminder for me to stay dedicated when I see his name. Studied hard. Got an A in both classes.

So based on the evidence, I’d have to argue that I absolutely can get myself to enjoy it. Unfortunately I let the bad professors cause me to lose interest in the class and get a worse grade, and that’s my own fault. But I should be able to overcome that if I break into a zone of intense dedication. I’ve watched the best of the best…Tyson, Nye, etc. say that part of the reason why so many students walk away from STEM fields is because the math is taught to them in a horrible way by our education systems.

Ideally, I would choose to learn at my own pace and even take many years longer than necessary in order to master the material, but when you attend a college, that’s not possible and you are bounded to the restrictions of the setup of the academic calendar.

Maybe it is a good option though to pursue one of the science majors that is a little less math-heavy and therefore utilize my writing skills instead. I honestly see me being a strong science communicator in the future. But then again, I’ve already taken all my writing and communication courses. The rest of my high-level courses will either be math-heavy or policy-focused, depending on which science major I choose.

I will have to consider all this when I meet with a science adviser next week. One thing is for certain:
If I had to choose between staying up all night to:

  1. Try to learn Spanish + write a 10 page paper about how the Jews and Arabs have been killing each other for 100 years
    OR
  2. Stay up all night trying to teach myself Calculus, Physics, and high level math

I would choose option 2 every time, because math is the language of the universe and I would rather spend my life contributing to something that matters on the largest scale. Politics has always been a “floating” interest of mine, but I’ve discovered that every time I dive into it, my interest fades after a few months and I become unhappy. The 2016 election thrusted me back into politics and international relations, but once again my interest has slowly faded and it eventually becomes annoying. So I definitely am convinced that science should be my major focus, and maybe I can bring government policy into it as the minor, rather than the other way around.

20

Good job going to the career fairs, talking to your advisor and most of all trying to think this through.

You have had advice from some great CC posters. Go re-read @juillet’s post- I think that you missed some of her points.

One of my collegekids was originally a physics + astronomy major. It didn’t take long for her to drop the astronomy part: she said that too much of the actual astronomy work was just sitting “at a desk working in a computer program all day” and that she would keep astronomy as a hobby. The point here is that you don’t actually know much about the actual work of being an astronomer- or any of the other roles that you wonder about.

You say that “I’ve never had the luxury of having a mentor or someone to help guide me”, but here’s the thing: that’s not a luxury, that’s something you have to find for yourself (and it takes a time). Internships are huge - for jobs, for grad school, for learning what suits you in a work environment, and for finding mentors. They are very competitive, and most people apply to many in order to get one. You need to be looking now for next summer (applications will be due in Dec/Jan for many).

Understand that there are a lot of ways of being involved with space. I know a commercial lawyer who was sitting with Elon Musk at the launch last month- he is that central to the project, even though he is not a scientist at all.

Stick to your natural strengths and use them to follow your interests.

And absolutely positively avoid more debt and get out of college as efficiently as you can.