Hey everyone. I have a bit of a philosophical question, which stems from my own experience but extends into a broader question about academic achievement. Here goes:
I feel that I was once a very sharp minded person. I rather effortlessly scored in the 98th and 99th percentile of students when I was young, from elementary to high school. I don’t know a great deal about how state testing and other associated percentiles are calculated, but I feel that scoring high at a young age is a pretty good indication of inherent talent and potential to do well in academics. I was the top student among everyone I knew.
The problem is, I feel like my potential has been slowly drying up as my personal life has had some extreme ups and downs. A lot happened during my high school years, but I will summarize by saying I had a tragic loss in my family, dealt with debilitating sexual abuse, and subsequently spent my high school years traveling the world and taking some great community college courses and holding up a 4.0 but not rigorously working on very challenging material. It turned into a gap before becoming a full time college student, which I am now.
My current state is that I just don’t feel as intelligent as I used to be/feel. I don’t feel above average with my fellow students in my advanced level science classes. I just want to tease out if this feeling is a) because I am behind from not spending a number of years in regular school b) I was never as smart as I thought I was or c) I am simply being challenged for the first time. And I would love to hear if anyone has been through a similar trajectory, ie being off to a strong start in childhood and screwed left and right by life… I just look at other students who had a normal education and feel like perhaps they harnessed their academic potential by learning and strengthening their thought processes over time, where I didn’t have the liberty to do so.
Did I have what it takes to become a brilliant person, but my potential was not harnessed at the right time? Is there such a thing as too late? What is potential? Is feeling smart even meaningful at all, or just a measure of confidence rather than ability?
Any thoughts?
I’ll bet on c.
It’s pointless to brood over the extent of your intelligence. If you think you’re not performing to your potential in your classes, ask yourself why exactly. Is it incomplete understanding of the material? test anxiety? not doing homework? not liking the subject? Then fix it. There definitely are some things that are over your head and some people who are much smarter than you - they exist for the most brilliant of us. Think about your goals - what do you want to achieve by your studies and how to get there. Read about the growth mindset.
In elementary and middle school, being smart is enough to get by without good study habits and a diligent approach. Even in HS, that is often the case. But in college, you are now in with a more selective group of people and with prof who have high expectations. Many smart people have trouble adjusting to that. You aren’t too late, but you need to recognize that you need new skills and more effort at this level.
As you move from high school to college the population that you are among contains many more 99th percentile people. All those high percentile ranks do is PREDICT the likelihood of doing well academically, it doesn’t guarantee it. There are many variables at play. That’s why a highly motivated and dedicated individual who scores lower on standardized tests can still succeed. Don’t focus on the past, the excuses, the social comparison. Figure out what you want or need to improve about your situation and go forward. That could be through counseling, academic advising, academic support services, just plain hard work, etc.
The potential is rarely lost, but reaching it takes planned efforts for most of us.
You didn’t say how old you are in your OP, but I am guessing that you are still quite young (less than 30). In 2016 you posted “back to school at 21”, which is causing me to guess that you are 23.
There is such a thing as “too late”. However, this is probably at least 40 years (if not 50 years) in the future for you.
If you are currently at college, and if you work hard for a few semesters, then I think that you are going to discover that you learned more than you realized during your time off from school.
One thing that you might be noticing: Many very smart students breeze through high school, then get to college/university and discover that they are average. They need to learn study skills and need to understand that the person sitting next to them in class might actually be just as smart as they are. This is normal. Work hard, focus on keeping ahead in your homework, always pay attention, and you can do it. You will find yourself stronger than you had realized.
Wow thanks for the replies. You all are really positive and helping me a lot! I was actually bracing myself for more harsh replies because I guess I expect that from college confidential, but was bestowed with such helpful words.
I do think I am experiencing what you all have mentioned about being among other highly intelligent people in the world of academia. I know people have talked about that at many good universities they were genuinely shocked at being so far from the best in their classes, sports, and other activities. Most of the world is not even in academia, so it makes sense that those who are in college are bright. I’ll elaborate a little more on my college situation by saying I am in a program where we can cross-enroll in a number of colleges, and my confidence level is so completely different at the most competitive school compared to the lesser ones. The high achieving students who have mostly been type A good student who took all the fundamental classes in a normal order are just in many ways better educated than I am. I guess it is pretty obvious that it is exactly that - measuring up in a given group of people - that makes me question myself.
But potential is more than a confidence thing. I mean, I am learning some neuroscience and feel like as little as is known about the brain, we are getting closer to learning how neural plasticity really works. I just wonder if my brain is wired in one way whereas if I were doing chemistry equations instead of earthquake relief for most of my teen years, I would have more of an affinity to this kind of work.
One of the things I recognize is I am challenging myself by being a STEM major when in reality, language and writing skills come really easily to me. One of the perks of my unusual education is that I picked up 5+ languages to the point of fluency. I did apply myself to learning them from books and dictionaries, but it was uncharacteristically easy for me to do. Unfortunately, I love science, which is much more work for me. This semester is my first time taking 5 difficult classes at once, and working part time, and I feel overwhelmed and am performing noticeably less well than when I have had a more manageable course load.
I don’t care about comparisons with others on a personal level, but I’d be lying if I said I am not feeling anxious about measuring up for graduate school admissions. It feels like a rat race to be always thinking of the next thing ahead, but here I am running along. I want to go into my chosen field, which will undoubtedly happen, but I really want to do so at a top school. Thus I wonder if I have the potential to achieve that yet, or if I have missed the chance.