I’ve been accepted to Columbia for the fall term, and worried about the social scene of the school. Do students have to put themselves out there? How hard is it to make friends? Are there any shy people? Thanks so much for any input!
While you are waiting for students to answer, I’ll answer as the parent of a Columbia student, who has graduated. My kid is shy, but was happy socially at Columbia. One of the things that worked for him was getting involved in an extra-curricular related to his major. That was a source of some of his friends.
As a parent of a freshman I’ll chime in too. My shy son has a single in John Jay. The first few weeks of school each floor’s RA organizes activities and games to get everyone on the floor know each other. They also organized birthday dinners out where everyone on the floor was invited. Now he is starting to meet people through his major and classes but everyone on his floor is a familiar face. Sophomore housing requires a roommate and my son had no problem finding one.
My son’s best friend from high school had a few suggestions that helped. He brought some activities like a Frisbee and Cards against Humanity and he either keeps his door open for drop ins or he does light homework in the hall common area.
Just remember that Columbia has some of the most interesting students in the country so be open to meeting anyone and you are bound to find some friendly faces.
Let me pipe in as a recent grad. My closest friendships were made at Columbia. During my freshman year, I too resided in John Jay, and lived on a floor with several shy kids (including me). The RA organized several activities on campus, in Morningside Heights and the rest of the City during the first few weeks. They were good ice breakers. But, over time, as the ice breakers winded down, solid friendships developed I spent many many nights in my dorm’s lounge having long conversation about politics, science, philosophy and even math. It was a true bonding – and intellectually growing – experience. My friendships extended way beyond my dorm, however. Columbia has many clubs and groups that attract students who have special interest and talents (and there are lot’s of them). There is really something for everyone. And some of my best friends were made in the activities in which I participated. And then there are classes. Because Columbia is an urban campus that is condensed in 6 or so city blocks, it’s hard to not make friends by just bumping into the same folks throughout the day. While its true that there’s a grittiness that pervades the campus, that grit, I believe, keep students aware, active and grounded. There’s probably less partying at other colleges, but there’s a different – and, I think, a more enriching milieu – that promotes a deeper bond among students.
I kind of haven’t made many friends, but most (more normal? lol) people do.
My experience is close to what @Plato23 described. I live in Hartley and there are many late nights talking about a wide range of topics. I have made some great friends thus far.
Try joining clubs that way you will find others with similar interests. It will be easier to make friends with people who have similar interests. Take college one step at a time. Do not rush into it.
-Best of luck
Beetleman