Making your kid do charity/service work?

<p>Having a student volunteer strickly for a resume boost is simply a disaster. We have always requested that our children not take a paying job during HS and take the time to volunteer with an organization they can be proud of. Part of this culture of giving is actually volunteering, donating or being involved in things yourself, things you love, which make you a better person, partner and parent. Organizations truly benefit when a person is dedicated to the cause and is not just passing through for a resume entry.</p>

<p>Another aspect to think about: DS wasn’t particularly open to my suggestions of where he might help out, but one of his favorite teachers as a freshman told him what <em>her</em> favorite volunteer activity was, and that spurred him to get involved. Sometimes the “mom” factor is what needs to be overcome.</p>

<p>I have always volunteered a lot, and still one of my children was not much interested in volunteering. A few hours each semester to fulfill national honor society requirements was all he did, and he got into the college of his choice. (Some of his stints were poorly managed as M’s mom mentioned.) My sophomore D would like to do more, but with 2 sports and a few other EC’s there is not much free time during the school year, so she does hers in the summer. I think it is not always necessary to have loads of volunteer hours to get into college, and the OP should not have her child volunteer just for college apps.</p>

<p>Here’s another theory for all who give up hope of teenagers volunteering happily.
Children–taken care of totally by parents. No interest in others.
Teenagers–“ME” time in a huge way. Finding their own way and becoming independent. Takes time and emotional toll
Parents–busy taking care of all those “ME” characters in there lives. More emotional toll than ever before.
Older adults–ready to give back to the community that has served them over all the “ME” years. the volunteering years.
Just because you think your teenager doesn’t “get it” or “isn’t grateful” doesn’t mean they aren’t. It could be a stage in life that just isn’t there yet.
However much it’s great (and I do think it is) that teenagers do community service, I truly dislike that it should be a requirement. Community service should be a willing participation–never a requirement.</p>

<p>I believe you volunteer and giveback when you can and I don’t believe in guilting kids into it, I don’t particularly “like”’ that the schools have made it a requirement and I really dislike it when kids (and adults) grudgingly volunteer because they feel it adds to their resume. I also think kids giving back is quietly going and mowing a lawn of a senior in the neighborhood or shoveling show for a senior that is housebound or going and walking the dogs at the humane society shelter or helping coach young kids in a sport you are good at or a million other things that come from the heart and aren’t necessarily outcomes and experientially based growth opportunities. I don’t want to lose sight of what it’s all really about.</p>

<p>Ditto to all you said Mom of 3–I wish you could get service hours for the real community in your life–family, neighbors, the ones you see in need…not just from organizations and certain school sanctioned events. Schools seem to be taking something that should be soul uplifting into a chore.</p>

<p>I do think that freshman year is a good time to introduce consistent community service. I required both of my children to perform community service throught their high school years not because of college apps but because they have ever really wanted for anything…and they have never really known anyone that is coping with economic issues or other challenges. Both my husband and I volunteer in the school system, as sports coaches, etc but we live in an affluent town so exposure to real social issues is limited. Both of us thought they needed to be exposed to people that struggle in some way on a daily basis. Serve the underserved. Both kids had a choice, if they want driving privledges before they were 18 then they had to perform consistent community service - minimum of 50 hours per year…both ended up far exceeding that. </p>

<p>So, first stop the soup kitchen, second stop special olympics, then back to the soup kitchen, then to the MSPCA, back to the soup kitchen, etc…at first they went kicking and screaming but I am really glad that we stuck to our guns because their experiences ended up being life changing for both of them. One decided to become an architect after a stint with Habitat and the other is pursuing social entreprenership - starting a for-profit company that solves a social problem. My 16 year old got herself a paying part time job and now supports a kid in Africa from her earnings. She did this on her own after volunteering in a food pantry. We didn’tlearn about it until some kids crayon drawings ended up on our fridge.</p>

<p>So, I don’t think it is bad for a parent to require community service from their kids especially if they are not involved in alot of activities. I do think that the child should be involved in picking from a few activities that the parent has already scoped out…and I think they should mix it up to give the kid more exposure to the real problems of the world.</p>

<p>In retrospect, I can honestly say I am not sure both my kids would have turned out the way they did without being involved in community service. They are more compassionate and aware of the plight of others as well as they appreciate what they have more.</p>

<p>I know my daughter received her 2 community scholarships (Girl Scout council & our church) because of her community service. The GS one is renewal for 4 years! In addition, I think she was accepted to the Honors program she’s in because of the community service she performed (it was the topic of her principal essay).</p>