<p>I have a child who's a B student with no real strong extracurriculars at her school. She's social and has interests -- but they're things like reading and riding her bike, which I'm not sure how you list on a college application. Since she's only a freshman, I thought it might be useful to have her do some volunteering -- so that when she applies to college she'll be able to point to having volunteered consistently through an activity in the community. </p>
<p>But last week she showed up at the volunteer site that we chose (OK, it was mostly me -- it's a kind of farm which runs programs for handicapped teens), she was greeted by other surly high school volunteers, several of whom told her "We're only doing this because our moms and dads are making us." I'm starting to wonder if marching a child through activities for the sake of a resume is a waste of time -- because if I were a college admissions counselor, I'd probably see right through this and wonder why the mom wasn't applying to college if she was so concerned about the application, while the kid clearly doesn't care. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe if she hangs in there, she'll eventually warm up to the activity and begin to enjoy it. Does anybody else have any experiences or wisdom to offer?</p>
<p>On what basis did you choose this activity for her? Does she like helping other people one-on-one? Is she empathetic and patient? Does she like to garden/be outdoors/love animals? My daughter is a very caring kid, but I know that she’d chew off her own arm if forced to work at a farm.</p>
<p>Kids may warm to a “forced” activity if it already contains a seed of something they already like to do. You say she likes to read - well, how about helping at the library? Running a weekend story hour to get other kids to read? Recording books on tape? Reading to a senior at a nursing home?</p>
<p>I think your student needs to select her own volunteer services. You certainly can guide her but use HER interests. If she is interested in reading, maybe she could volunteer at your local library or at a day care after school to read to youngsters. If she is into bike riding, I know there are a NUMBER of fundraising bike rides that are always looking for volunteers.</p>
<p>Why did you pick a farm? Or even work with disabled teens? Some students are well suited for those volunteer opportunities…but some just arent.</p>
<p>The BEST volunteer opportunity is one that captures the interests of the student. Start looking for things like that. And involve your daughter in the process…if you can identify three things, perhaps she could choose the one she prefers.</p>
<p>And yes…I would agree that if she is only doing this to pad a college application resume…it’s probably a waste of time.</p>
<p>I am actually at a loss to even comment. Do these students not know how much this does affect their applications to college. We used to get upset with our D because we thought she was doing too much and even in college not only out of state but out of country she still volunteers anytime she can. Maybe you need to talk to the HS councillor and ask them if there is someway for the school to talk to them about the importance of thios activity. My D had many extracurricular activities but the one that were commented on quite often were the volunteer ones. I think you forcing them to do it will get the exact reaction you are seeing. I am here because I have to be and not because I want to be. You said she enjoys reading, well perhaps volunteering to read to children at a library or even in an elementary school to help students learn to read, if she is a good reader she could be a mentor. She likes to ride her bike , maybe she could volunteer to do small errands for neighberhood elderly people, no charge just the thank you and documented times to keep track off. In other words doing something she is good at and comfortable with. I dont know, maybe I am way off base here and I am sure someone will tell me that I am nuts but that is my volunteered two cents worth.</p>
<p>Many high schools have community service requirement for graduation. DD’s college emphasized community involvement (gotta love those Jesuits). Still…the STUDENT needs to be invested or they will be a mighty poor volunteer.</p>
<p>Agree with the importance of letting the child’s natural talents and interests guide the choice of the volunteer activity. That said, I do believe that children (and adults) should be expected to volunteer to serve their communities.</p>
<p>Since she’s social, she may enjoy volunteer work more if it’s with her friends. There are a lot of organizations that are heavily involved in volunteering- Scouts, religious organizations, and school service clubs where the kids join up because they are interested in the mission of the group and because many of their friends are involved. I would bet her high school has a number of clubs that focus on service interests. The two of you could do some research to see what’s available in your area, and maybe see if she could interest a friend to join something worthwhile with her.</p>
<p>We did strongly encourage our kids to volunteer, but also tried to find things that would appeal. My older son helped out at the senior center computer lab. My younger son also helped out at the senior center, but he helped serve lunch, taught an origami class and gave a couple of violin concerts. He had a second volunteer job, which he started because he needed to do ten hours of something for a government requirement at school. It was helping archive the neighborhood association papers. It was perfect for him as he’s always liked history, so he found the work really interesting. He ended up writing one of his best college essays about what he learned about our neighborhood and the limits of primary sources.</p>
<p>I went to a high school that devoted Wednesdays to volunteer/internship/experiential learning. I learned a lot from it - even the things it turned out I wasn’t particularly suited for. Our headmistress used to joke that a primary function of the program was for girls to find out early that they didn’t want to be vets!</p>
<p>1) I wouldn’t have your kids do anything to look good for colleges.</p>
<p>2) Volunteering is a good thing to do, even if it’s for college apps. I wouldn’t ever make my kid do a volunteer gig of my choosing at this age. Volunteering is just part of our family culture so my kids have always done it, but by the time they’re in HS, the kid is certainly old enough to pick the activity. If you really want your kid to volunteer, I’d say, “Here are some options I thought you’d like. If you don’t like any of them, pick one of your own. But here’s the deadline to decide.”</p>
<p>My D too loved to read and so volunteered for years at the local library in the children’s programs. She also had mandatory community service requirements for h.s. which, in her words, sucked all the fun out of her activities. That said, we did tell her 1) she needed community service as it was very important for college admittance (and I am pretty sure her special volunteer/ community work was key to her ultimate acceptances) and 2) she got to choose what to do and we supported her.
It should be fun, or at least interesting- and it does not hurt if it is related to her other interests. D’s service was actually a great opportunity to show leadership too, another key ingredient to success during application season at many schools.</p>
<p>It’s so much easier for our kids to see the value in volunteerism if the parents also volunteer. Our kids saw us in a lot of volunteer roles, from Girl Scout leader, to Little League coach to PTA President. It’s part of being a member of a community and giving back some of the benefits we receive. But just as adults choose their own level of participation, the kids should as well in order to really benefit from their experiences.</p>
<p>Ignoring the question of whether she “should” do community service volunteering…</p>
<p>If she enjoys riding her bike, perhaps getting involved in something like a bike race for charity or something? Or she could create a group that, for example, rides across the state to support some cause. Form a club at school. Rehab bikes for poor children.</p>
<p>I agree that community service and volunteering is part of our family culture, and it comes from my parents and my H’s parents. Children learn by example. Both of my girls are very active in all types of community service, and we never keep track of the hours. I often see kids write “I did 214 hours of community service”. My kids just do it. D1 is now in college, and the clubs that she joined are mostly service based.</p>
<p>Between by H and I, we are Girl Scout volunteers (both of us), sports coaches, School Committee, various parents organizations, religious ed teachers, etc. Somehow, we find time to work full time.</p>
<p>I’d have a general talk with her about how it’s important to help other people, and then ask her to find some organizations that she’d like to learn about and get involved. Not because it’s good for her app, but because it would be a good experience. If she likes to read, maybe she’d like reading to little kids who are just learning. If she likes to ride her bike, maybe she’d like to participate in some of the bike rides for a cause?</p>
<p>My first question is whether the OP volunteers herself. I’ll admit this is a pet peeve of mine. I have volunteered most of my life. My kids both volunteered when they were younger and DD still volunteers in college. They learned by example that when you volunteer you get more than you give. We used to have both kids on probation and kids who were forced to volunteer at one of my long term volunteer jobs. I finally told the Director that paid staff should super use these unwilling volunteers as I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wasn’t volunteering to deal with bunch of surly teenagers.<br>
So I would say give her some ideas Nd let her take the initiative</p>
<p>Volunteering is about giving back or helping those less fortunate. No more, no less. As a parent you need to set the example of involvement and drag your kids along at an early age. I’m sad your daughter is a freshman and doesn’t have volunteer experiences. </p>
<p>I started our GS troop in 1st grade and community service work was an integral part of what we did - even at 6 they can pick up garbage and plant flowers around town. All we really did for the last 2 years of HS was volunteer work - sorting food at our huge regional food bank and serving as roving information guides at the local Susan G Komen race. </p>
<p>In 5th grade D1 went to Mexico and built homes for the homeless with her dad. </p>
<p>There are plenty of agencies or groups that need volunteers from libraries, shelters or soup kitchens. Just look around. Read your local newspaper for ideas of what other teenagers are doing.</p>
<p>Lots of organizations do a very poor job of managing volunteers, especially high school students. The work is too often sheer drudgery and very little thought has gone into converting the volunteer into an advocate for the mission. Look for nonprofits that have high retention rates for volunteers, especially teens, that invest in some training, that make a real effort to tie the work -however dull - to measurable, visible outcomes, that provide the volunteers with some personal attention from the staff and strive to create personal connections between the volunteers and between the volunteers and beneficiaries of the services. As stated elsewhere, it has to be something your daughter cares about. The benefits of volunteering, aside from helping others (which gets old fast if that’s all it’s about), are in finding admirable role models, developing new skills, learning about something that interests you, forming relationships with other volunteers and with the beneficiaries, and feeling valued for your unique contribution, and discovering aptitudes that may not have surfaced at work or at school. Make sure your daughter is giving her time to an organization that deserves her: They do this by putting some thought into what makes for a satisfying volunteer experience.</p>
<p>As someone who works professionally with nonprofits, I am always disturbed when I see poorly managed volunteers because I realize that someone (especially a young person) who has had a bad experience, not only does not return to that organization - they do not volunteer elsewhere either. </p>
<p>Good luck in helping your daughter find an organization with a mission she cares about and the skills to use her well.</p>
<p>My kids worked in high school and donated the money they made to charities. Perhaps your daughter could ride her bike in a fundraising event - there are lots of those.</p>
<p>Agree with ebeeee…we (the parents) have volunteered our whole lives…and donated to charity (although I will say…I like giving of my time more). Our kids came with us often when they were younger and in both cases, their first volunteer stints were in the same forums we volunteered in. They knew the people, and knew what they would be asked to do…and wanted to continue as we have.</p>