The end does not justify the means. To say that Oher became a better man because of his “adoptive” family - even if they misrepresented themselves and perhaps kept money that they didn’t share with Oher - is pretty insulting. It kind of reminds me of something else in the news these days, to be honest.
It’s a sad, strange story. I think Michael complained years ago about being portrayed as less intelligent by the actor in the movie than he is in real life. He graduated from college, he spent years in the NFL, he is hired as a speaker these days. He has children and is married. I’ve heard interviews with him and he sounds perfectly competent and intelligent. It is puzzling why he would be in a conservatorship. But, maybe I’m missing something. And the Tuohy family is putting out their own narrative. This story is not going away anytime soon.
Worth watching him describe his “family” in his words.
Much more insightful than the actor portrayals through the lens of a screenplay adaption of a book.
We don’t know that they did.
He was 18.
He’s now 37.
You’ll never truly know the truth. Nor will he.
Finding out the truth is what the lawsuit is about. I think a lot of things that get portrayed as “okay” can be found out not to be years later, in a clearly discernible way. We’ll have to see.
The issue to me is - everyone thinks they know a situation based on a movie. We don’t know celebrities or others. Lives are complex.
Both sides took a risk.
I knew of few people - actually no one who would take a very large and homeless young man near adulthood, of another race no less, and bring them into their lives on a full time basis, around their young children.
This relationship seemed to have lasted years and years.
So I’ll assume as I said before and others can disagree but that the young man is likely a better man because of this situation.
I can’t remember everything from 18 and not everyone can or will know related to what their parents did half a life ago.
There was something in it for the family - the fact they took him in or they would not have.
But to even talk about this - it’s happening based on a movie. We cannot even surmise to know what truly happened in real life.
All family squabbles are sad. I hope if there’s truly love there, that it all works out.
The Tuohy’s would not have brought any young man of color into their home.
It was a bit more transactional than that. They got a very athletic child to help win that high school championship. To recruit to their college.
It happens. Coaches mentor the best player on the team. They have them move in with them. This isn’t an isolated incident.
The difference was that there was a book and a highly successful film about this. Someone made money on it. Who and how much is a question Michael Oher wants to know. I think he’s entitled to know.
This I can agree. But it’s sad a family has to litigate. Any family squabble stinks.
It’s probably fair to say that Tuohy’s took advantage of the situation, but when they took Michael in I don’t think there’s any way they could have forseen the football victories and success of a book and follow-up move.
According to the petition, the Tuohys formed a closer relationship with Oher when his athleticism drew wide attention. They invited him to sleep over more and took him shopping. Eventually, they asked Oher to move in. They asked him to call them “mom and dad” and talked about adopting him.
Again three sides to every story.
What’s sad is there seemed to be a love between all parties including the kids.
Maybe there wasn’t but it appeared to be….
Edited to add a second story from the local paper.
Michael Oher: Tuohy family says ‘Blind Side’ legal action not new (tennessean.com)
Color me shocked at which party Fox News chooses to paint as the victim, and which they seek to discredit.
It’s a news article, not a commentary.
I posted a second from the Tennessean - which is considered in the state decidedly liberal.
As noted, there are three sides to every story.
We are not involved. We don’t know Michael Oher anymore than you know the person who is driving by your house right now.
We just think we do.
I’m not saying he’s wrong. I’m not saying the Tuohy’s are wrong. I’m not saying both are wrong.
No different than any other case pending in the local court - I don’t know and I wouldn’t even bother to know.
I do think @Colorado_mom makes a fair point - there would be no way to forsee a book and movie.
One thing is for sure - money - it’s needed but when it overrides a family/friend relationship, it’s a true shame.
No, I don’t know Michael Oher and I don’t know the Tuohys.
What I do know is this. I have also found myself, as a white woman, in a situation where I got to know a young Black man very well, and ended up inviting him into my home and helping him to get through college and to achieve financial stability. If anybody ever made a movie about that situation, and made him appear less-than-intelligent while portraying me as a “white savior” who had taken pity on him and made him into the man he became by instilling my values in him, I would be shouting my objections from the rooftops - not just because it would be demeaning to him specifically, but because it would reinforce all of the demeaning societal stereotypes that he swims upstream against every day. And furthermore, if I kept all of the money from such a movie and didn’t give him any, it would be a betrayal of the trust and spirit of collaboration that we worked very hard to build (and that is extremely difficult to build in the context of a racist and economically stratified society), and he would be 100% right to resent it; and if I didn’t change my mind after being challenged about it, he would be 100% right to sue me.
Maybe this situation differs from that hypothetical. Maybe it doesn’t. But nothing about “The Blind Side” has ever passed the smell test.
Would Oher have even made it to a college if the Tuohys hadn’t helped him? Go look at the athletics forum and see how much goes into getting really top students into college on an athletic scholarship. From the book, it is clear that Oher needed to take some remedial classes to qualify, and he did that on the BYU online program. Would someone else have paid for those if the Tuohys hadn’t stepped in? Would someone else have helped him organize his ACT/SAT test to get a high enough score to pair with his grades?
He may have been a smart kid but he hadn’t had a stable educational route, and he didn’t have any help from his family. I think the part of the movie/book where all the coaches are heavily recruiting him was true - Lou Holtz, Nick Sabin, the big schools, the endless mail. In those days, he could only have 5 overnight visits and it is pretty hard to pick 5 from 50. Just not sure Oher could have handled the recruiting requirements before the Tuohys stepped in (and I think they stepped in when he was in 10th grade). He would have had to send in transcripts for every high school he attended, sent in his gpa, his scores, made sure the combo met the requirements. He would have had to get himself to any school he was accepted to. In 2003, the schools could not have paid for his transportation. He would have had to fill out the FAFSA to get a pell grant. At the time, the schools could not pay for anything except the scholarship, which was tuition, fees, room and board, and books. No beer, not travel, no health insurance, no spring break trips. There are so many stories from that time about how hungry the football players were because they could only have 3 meals per day and snacks while at practice.
I hope they settle their disagreement and if Oher is owed money he gets it. I just watched an American Greed show about how an agent swindled a bunch of NFL and NBA players. Most were young and had been introduced to her by other players, and she just had their paychecks sent to her. Big names - Dennis Rodman, Ricky Williams.
The Tuohy’s didn’t write the script. Movies are made to sell. A lot of - based on a true story movies - are false in many regards - whether it’s a Rudy, Dog Day Afternoon (one of the all time great movies but said to take a lot of liberties), etc.
Did the Tuohy’s have script approval? I don’t know.
They claim everyone was paid - and it wasn’t that much.
I’m not saying that’s correct. I don’t know.
I suppose if this goes to a trial, we’d learn.
Of course it won’t - it will be settled with a confidentiality clause.
Clearly, Michael Oher, when he was young, was given direction and discipline and for that - he should be grateful.
Unfortunately, this is just another in a spat of successful folks claiming their parents robbed them.
Hopefully it’s not true but if it is true, it wouldn’t be surprising.
Michael wrote a book about himself and in the book he most likely included his Tuohy and his mother/siblings (I haven’t read the book). Is he required to share the profit with everyone?
I don’t know how the book/movie Blind Side came about - who contributed to it and what agreements they had about payments, but it’s clear Michael is not happy about it.
Now, I do wonder why he let the conservatorship stand for so many years. He could have petitioned against it long time ago. If the Tuohys were profiting from his football career then he should have known long before. Why he never did anything about it.
I remember him complaining about that as well. He also took issue with the movie for making it seem he learned the game of football from the high school coach and the Tuohys, when he had been playing for a few years already when he met them. Or something along those lines.
Sean Tuohy insists that he was told by his attorney that there was no such thing as adult adoption, so the conservatorship was the only way to go. Tennessee law, however, did and does allow for adult adoption, so Sean Tuohy received bad legal advice.
Or he’s being dishonest . About the legal advice.
Legal filings obviously portray things in an extreme light that is most favorable to one side or the other. That’s especially true when it’s a famous story and PR is employed to elicit sympathy. So who knows exactly what went on. But a large proportion of NFL players run short of money or even file for bankruptcy after they stop playing:
https://vault.si.com/.amp/vault/2009/03/23/how-and-why-athletes-go-broke
I can see why a wealthy family (that made $200M from selling their restaurant chain) might want not want their own kids to have to share their inheritance with another person they’d helped out in a rough situation as a teenager, however close the family were to them. That’s not like adopting a young kid or baby and would be a reason not to do a formal adoption since there might then be a presumption of inheritance.
This conservatorship doesn’t seem like an exact parallel to Britney Spears (EDIT: not Paris Hilton) since there’s no suggestion that the Tuohys had any control over Oher’s NFL earnings. Instead it seems to have been an end run around NCAA rules about college boosters.