Having many high achieving nieces and nephews who attended public schools in good school districts with high SES families, I know it can be much worse than what my kids experienced with BS. Much more competition, tons of homework, a race to take the most AP classes, comparisons of GPAs calculated out to the second decimal point and class ranks, much student and parental angst. Ugh.
DS did so poorly on the diagnostic SAT last spring that I will secretly be pleased if he broke 1000 on the PSAT last week…and after telling me it was “fine” (like everything else), he mentioned a few days later that he had forgotten his calculator, so hopefully his guessing approach worked out. But don’t worry, he might have crushed the reading comprehension.
And remember there are always plenty of good test optional schools, the list of which grows yearly!
Apropos the college process…now that my BS grads ('15/'18) are in college/grad school, I am SO over the whole thing.
I guess in part because I can be. But what I mean is that having gone through it twice now with relatively high performing/high achieving kids, observing fellow parents/kids, and doing a crapload of reading (I even have a Chronicle of Higher Ed sub now), I think the system and society’s relationship to it is very broken.
Much like my POV on BS, I hate that there are only a relative handful of schools that people in certain social circles deem worthy of applying to/attending. How have we gotten to this point?
I also hate the fact that the average excellent unhooked applicant’s chances are nowhere near the published admit rates once you account for URM, legacy, development admits, and athletes. So that published mid-to-high teens admit rate is really single digit…
While I know that one of my kids has benefitted from the system as it stands, that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Sorry for the rant, sorta. 
@doschicos do you have the list of the tuition optional schools??? That’s the list I’m looking for!!!
There actually are some. @ChoatieMom can speak to at least one! 
I was just talking to another parent about this this morning. We both have older high achievers and younger kids who will make their own way based on other talents. We both remarked how peaceful we felt about the kids who may or may not even choose to attend college.
To summarize the list of colleges that are test optional and tuition free:
10 colleges that don’t require SAT or ACT scores
Pitzer College
New York University
Hampshire College
Lewis & Clark College
University of Texas at Austin
Cornell College
Arizona State University
American University
i*
Tuition-free Colleges
Alice Lloyd College
The Apprentice School
Barclay College
Berea College
College of the Ozarks
Curtis Institute of Music
Deep Springs College
United States Air Force Academy*
United States Coast Guard Academy*
United States Merchant Marine Academy*
United States Military Academy*
United States Naval Academy*
Warren Wilson College
Webb Institute
Williamson College of the Trades
*Free to parents, not so much for students.
FWIW - Hampshire college is in deep financial trouble and may not be taking a new class next year - Please check on this situation. I believe only 15 Freshman started this year.
Retaking a 1540. Wow. Also, public school parents often have constant access to their children’s assignments and grades and GPAs to many decimal points. That could feed into the numbers anxiety for those so inclined. I am so glad to have been spared all that because I could have been sucked in, if it was what passed for normal in my world. Now those parents wonder why their kids are so anxious and can’t function independently in college. Or maybe they enjoy still being able to take care of everything for their kids - like the parents on the Facebook group for my daughter’s college who are still arranging all kinds of things for their children, including hiring people to clean their little darlings’ dorm rooms. LOL.
I got very sucked in to watching the grade portal for DD at LPS. It was actually so freeing to not be able to do that when she went to college and DS went to BS!
Retaking a 1540 = waste of time.
I think that frenzied environment is why I can’t handle the parents of 21 thread in the dark side of the cc forum. Too much of Johnny is taking x,y, z with an immeasurable list of sports and ECs…to the point of the parents wearing their “suffering” of the schedule, stress and chaos like a badge of honor.
Just reading a few posts stressed me out. And to listen to my supervisor with her kid…all I can do is scratch and shake my head.
I’m anxious at times, it’s true…but lately over much more sobering stuff than the college application process.
I’m hoping I can continue to ride DSs wave of rolling with the flow til we hit the sandy beach!!
The one thing I took away from DC’s Parents Weekend, which is not really a surprise, is that people worry too much about test scores. From the mock exercises we conducted, if a student has scores in the acceptable range, other factors seem to be much more important.
Hampshire actually had 13 freshmen, but 1 left, so there are 12. I went to Mt Holyoke, and as a 5 College alum, think this is a sad development, even if we thought Hampshire students “weird” in 1988. There was clearly a place for this school, and it clearly worked for a certain kind of kid.
Like @twinsmama , I am on our sophmore’s college parents page, and the involvement of those parents is off the hook. And I have to believe it is because they were at home through high school. In fact, W&M recently instituted 2-factor identification on it’s website and student gmail, in large part to remove parents from the equation. That’s crazy.
While we did (and plan to for '22) maintain a decent amount of oversight of the college process while in BS, we fully trust the process and the counselors, who truly knew DS and suggested the exactly right schools for him. Fingers crossed for '22.
Not to change the subject, but… @SevenDad , did you see this? https://www.austin360.com/entertainment/20191021/maggie-rogers-responds-to-harassment-during-austin-show?fbclid=IwAR2TIBSrOtbz7X1FGa-4Dt821bPpRIUbQE4dMUEAH2tt5FBhLkVdlHeX_D4 She rocks.
She did awesome addressing it on the fly. I wouldn’t have been able to be so poised and articulate in that context in my 20s, not even now.
@hellomaisy: I saw on her social media account that something had happened, but didn’t know she addressed it in the moment. Thanks for sharing.
I went to one of her shows at Radio City and she has developed into an outstanding live performer. Seems like she has a HUGE and dedicated fan base, too. Frankly, I’m surprised that anyone who would go to one of her shows would act so rudely to her.
After Maggie posted about it, so many trolls came out. Ah, humanity, you continue to disappoint me on a weekly (if not daily) basis.
Brandi Carlile, whom I love and respect both for her music and for her leadership in the music world especially for female artists, has served as a mentor to Maggie Rogers.
I saw Maggie at a festival this summer and she’s really grown into a force on stage.
Here is the Hampshire College article I referenced; an excellent piece in today’s WaPo
https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2019/10/21/downfall-hampshire-college-broken-business-model-american-higher-education/?arc404=true