I also got into UNC fully pay and Michigan full pay, we didn’t apply for any financial aid as they can afford the schools but are not rich enough where a full ride wouldn’t make a difference so changed their tune when I heard from LSU.
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Is this a done deal, or are they only considering this now?
Really the first thing you must do is have an open and honest conversation with your parents about this. And I can’t stress this enough, it has to be a conversation and that won’t work if you go on the attack. Use “I” statements (ie “I feel like you are valuing my sister over me.” vs “You love our sister more than me”). And listen to what they have to say. I don’t know your parents, so I can’t say what their reasoning is, if it’s good or if it’s bad.
Life isn’t fair, and this could be an early lesson that. You can only control yourself and your actions, and not other people. You’re an adult or very close, so look at this as one of your first adult challenges. Present a case to your parents outlining the pros of going to MIT over LSU, as well as your feelings of going back on a previous deal, and your feelings over your parents paying for one child and not the other… do it as calmly and non-accusatory as you can.
If it doesn’t go your way, remember that it’s now you who are paying for your college and not your parents. You got the full ride, and you are in charge of your destiny. Wear that as a badge of pride… you will do great things if you don’t let bitterness envelop you.
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You are not being punished. You were raised and given the opportunity to achieve all the success you had. That’s bcuz of your parents.
We don’t know what your parents are thinking but you have a full ride to a major research institution. It’s not like you are being tossed aside.
I get it. But your family bond is far more important than this choice. And without the love and opprtunites your parents gave you, you wouldn’t have had this choice.
Think about how much money this costs. Do u have two in at once ? It’s double. It’s hard for a young person to really understand the significance of hundreds of thousands. It does not grow on trees.
Maybe if your sister had a full ride, she’d have been pushed into that too.
It’s too bad you all didn’t discuss this up front.
But there are millions of people in this world that scrap for food, a roof over their head and any education.
You have the chance to study at a world class university.
Punished you are not …
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That was my assumption. Proud parents who have superstar kids and not really realizing how freaking expensive it all is.
And yes, this could definitely affect the relationship between OP and her parents.
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not a certainty, but they said it’s unlikely they would be willing to fork over money for mit now. We haven’t decline anything yet so I have still have time to discuss this.
I’m pretty clueless about the loan process since my parents initially said cost was not an issue, but is there any way I can take out loans myself for MIT?
No. And thank god. One is limited to $27k over four years.
You wouldn’t want to strangle yourself with that kind of debt. It would haunt you for your entire working life.
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OP, very sorry you are in this position.
Since economics are the issue, maybe try an economic argument with your parents? LSU says average starting salary for undergrad physics major about $40K (here: Starting Salary Offers for LSU Graduates | Olinde Career Center).
I couldn’t quickly find equivalent page for MIT but US News says average for general physics undergrad major is about $80K (here: https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/massachusetts-institute-of-technology-2178).
I’m sure LSU is fine school, but MIT! I would continue (respectfully) working on your parents…
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OK. So you have a chance to have a full and open conversation with your parents. I don’t know what your relationship with them is, but you should approach this as one of your first conversations with them as an adult in your own right. Prepare everything and then listen to what they have to say.
What’s your relationship like with your sister? Have you talked to her about this? What if your parents say, “look we really thought we could afford two full tuitions, but after running the numbers if we do that, we’d have to take out a second mortgage on the house… etc. As it turns out if you go to MIT, we’d have to stop paying your sister’s tuition at brown and coudl only pay for 2 years at MIT” Is that and outcome you would be ok with?
Parents make mistakes and they may have messed up their finances here. If that’s the case it sucks, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it at this point, and the only thing to do is figure out how to go from here.
I will say you can be great at LSU. You’ll have to let go of what might have been and embrace the life you now have.
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No, and there is not a school on this planet that is worth taking out $325K in loans for.
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What is your career goal??
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First of all, you (and your parents) should be exceedingly proud of your accomplishments! Getting into the schools you got into is AMAZING! Congratulations!
A few questions:
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You mentioned you got into Michigan and UNC. At least one of those would be out-of-state, and I guess very expensive (slightly less than MIT). Could you clarify?
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Why is it down to just LSU and MIT?
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And what is career goal. I know it’s too early to be definitive, but makes you think that MIT will give you that much of an advantage, especially since you don’t want to go to grad school.
Finally, while MIT is an awesome institution, it’s not for everyone. You said you don’t want to go to grad school, so are you thinking that an MIT degree will get you a better job, however you define better? While MIT would catch my eye, a full-ride to LSU would too if I were a job recruiter.
$320k is a lot of money. I am very much of the school of thought that it doesn’t matter where you go, but that it matters what you do there.
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Leave your parents out of this . This is a simple choice for you. If your end goal is physics, stay at LSU because it is hard to justify 325k to do physics. If you are flexible about your profession after doing physics, and are willing to consider more commercial professions such as quant finance, tell your parents that you will pay them back in 5 years. You will be able to pay them back in 2.
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Acceptance to MIT is a stellar accomplishment and I sincerely congratulate you. I totally get the feeling of unfairness 'twixt your sister’s path and yours; I felt the same way when my parents paid for my brother’s college and I had to work and take out loans (Stone Age). It was a resentment that I carried for far too long.
Look at it this way, though: Your parents might have financial worries now that they didn’t have a few years ago with your sister. You may have presented them with a literal gift that they weren’t expecting, and it’s only natural that they’re focused on it. Try not to blame anyone, though I truly know how difficult that is.
It also may be that they’re more certain you’ll shine no matter where you go, and so their financial safety net for you doesn’t have to be so substantial. That’s how my parents felt about me: They knew I’d be fine; my brother needed their extra financial push to actually get his degree done.
Is there something that MIT would provide that LSU wouldn’t? I’m not STEMmy so I honestly have no idea. I do know it’s the pinnacle for a lot of students; I do get that.
But would you be able to do more as a superstar elsewhere? Maybe research, substantial/quality access to faculty, etc. You haven’t told us your career plans, so we’re kind of in the dark.
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Among many many differences, one important difference is peer quality
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Congrats!
You would be crazy not to go to MIT. Over the long run, the price difference will be a rounding error giving the contacts, opportunities, and overall level of excellence MIT offers.
Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish.
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I don’t think it’s that simple.
Of course, MIT is MIT!
But as @neela1 pointed out, the career choice matters. A BS in physics from MIT isn’t going to help pay $330k+ in debt unless OP gets into a very high paying career.
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TBH I would have trouble justifying paying them back when my sister doesn’t have to.
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agree, MIT is a once in a lifetime opportunity and a unique opportunity to be surrounded by like minded students. I am very grateful for the full ride but a little dismayed that I would be attending the same school that many of my classmates(who never invited me to any parties/made fun of my “nerdiness”)are. The fact that my parents are paying my for sister’s entire college experience also adds to it as she will get the better experience/opportunities while paying the same amount.
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I even asked them about financial aid and they assured me there was no concern over cost:(