Of course I wouldn’t ask them to stop paying her tuition, but she’s also going to law school where they agreed to pay half her expenses. In their defence she didn’t have the chance of a free ride to law school while I do.
You’re assuming she has the “choice” to go to MIT and she’s made clear that she doesn’t.
So if her choice is LSU or nothing, then she’d be crazy not to go to LSU - a fine school in its own right.
Two other things:
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LSU is large - seeing classmates shouldn’t be a concern. I’m sorry they didn’t invite you to their parties but you don’t seem that you like that scene anyway. I’m sure you don’t invite them to your stuff either. That’s ok - different kids do different things.
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she will get the better experience/opportunities - hmmmmmm - who says. You’re making an assumption based on perception/prestige. Truthfully, you haven’t a clue what LSU has to offer. You just know it’s not MIT.
Be thankful for the opportunities provided and take advantage of them. You might, in fact, have more access to opportunities - because at an MIT, everyone is a stud. At LSU, you will have the chance to stand tall because far less are desiring to.
That’s exactly what’s happening to my kid at her lesser ranked school.
I hope you find a way to MIT - but you are acting as if their world is ending. It’s not - you are getting a gift - and you are giving your parents a gift - of less financial stress.
Choosing a college is not all about you - there are others it impacts. And I hope you all come to a joint decision - but you need to know it’s about more than you.
technically we haven’t decided yet, but I find it unlikely I can change their mind? Is there any way I can contact MIT about the situation. I won’t qualify for financial aid but I am being prevented from going because of money and they claim to meet full need.
Unless your parents financial situation has drastically changed, I think if your parents said the money was/is there, then they should honor their commitment to you to attend MIT. I’m in the camp that I hope that they change their mind and will send you. I don’t think it’s fair that they paid for your sister’s full tuition and are planning on 1/2 of her grad school, and are pushing you to LSU. Again, unless the family finances have significantly changed…
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I’ve been following this discussion and I don’t really have an answer or brilliant suggestions. But I wanted to tell you that I completely understand everything you’ve said in this entire thread; I empathize with all of the points you are making. I understand your perspective, and your feelings seem very valid to me. I’m sure it will work out for the best, whatever that ends up being. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and MIT, though. Best of luck from a mom up in Wisconsin, and congrats on your amazing achievements.
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Today, investigate the options at DoD SMART scholarships and NSA Stokes and ROTC. Someone will pay for you to study physics at MIT if you give them some work years. I would never give up MIT.
Also, undergrad should come before grad school help. Your sister can get full loans for grad school.
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OP - please don’t forget this - this is most important!!
You’ve achieved a ton - and if you work hard in school, at any school, that will hold true in life.
I’ve had bosses that didn’t go to college and a receptionist who went to Stanford.
This is one small blip. That you got into all these wonderful programs and that a school is throwing money at you is amazing.
Keep being amazing - and where you go, over time, will matter less and less.
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Again, I’m not STEMmy.
But people majoring in physics tend to self-select as way smart, I would think. I could be wrong!
I honestly believe there are smart people everywhere.
And faculty bios look pretty good at LSU:
Look, if OP has to go to LSU, she has to go to LSU. Might as well find the good things about it.
OP, maybe a list of pros and cons? Have you delved into LSU as much as MIT?
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The fact that your parents don’t want to pay for you to attend MIT will not qualify as “need.”
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I’m going to be in the minority here. MIT is one of the very few schools worth paying the full freight for. Go to MIT if
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you’re the type of students who rise to the challenge;
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you can take advantage of the greater opportunities MIT could offer;
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your parents can afford MIT without financial hardship (which MIT has deemed to be the case) and their reluctance is purely due to the large difference in cost between the two schools, not actual affordability.
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OP-- sending you hugs. This is a challenging situation for a HS kid to navigate.
Other than Michigan and UNC did you apply anywhere else? It’s late in the game, but there are merit scholarship schools that are neither LSU or MIT that would likely be more expensive as LSU but not as costly as MIT. Is your guidance counselor savvy/helpful?
It may take a gap year (so you can apply next fall to some colleges with good merit aid) so that’s something to consider- you may not want to wait. Agree that ROTC and some of the other federal programs could be an option as well.
Did your parents visit MIT with you?
Final thought- I know it’s tough for a HS kid to do, but you need to stop thinking about your sister’s situation. You two are going to be siblings long after your parents are gone, and I’ve seen so many situations where the sibling who got (fill in the blanks) ends up isolated from the other siblings- through no fault of his or her own. Your sister didn’t vacuum money out of your parents checking account to pay for Brown- that was a decision that THEY made.
Life is unfair some times, no questions there… Hugs to you.
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Yes, $320k is a lot of money, but the average starting salary out of MIT can be very high (over $100,000) if you choose a finance or IT career path. The payback can be very fast. It’d harder to justify MIT full-pay if you see yourself as a teacher or government researcher or in policy roles. MIT Graduating Student Survey (GSS) — MIT Institutional Research
We would respect our child arguing their case for the full-pay or the full ride as there is no one right answer, and most adults listen to logical arguments. Parents often respond less well to emotional arguments - but you got into MIT, so you can build a strong logical case for attending MIT!
Your parents might just be pushing to make sure you are really serious about MIT (because LSU is a great school and free is a great option) or they might have financial concerns they are not sharing with you, which you will need to respect too.
Good luck and congratulations on having two options most kids would love to have!
It is worth noting the potential of meeting your life’s partner is much more attractive and statistically superior at MIT…
How is this inappropriate? Many people meet their future spouses in college…gene pool at MIT is superior to that at LSU in almost every dimension.
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I think most of us agree that a wonderful student will do great things no matter where they go to college. What I find unfair is that her parents are paying $300k for her sister to attend Brown and, on top of that, footing half the bill for law school. What a way to pit your children against one another. It’s like saying we’re buying one kid a Mercedes and a condo and another kid . . . nothing.
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OP – I am so sorry that you are in this situation.
One possibility is for you and your sister to try filing for financial aid for MIT and Brown now. It’s not too late, and it may be that with two students in college, either/both of you will qualify for some need-based aid, even if your parents say that you won’t (parents are often wrong about this). Both Brown and MIT have very generous financial aid policies.
As a shortcut, you can run the Net Price Calculator on both MIT and Brown’s financial aid websites to see what the numbers might look like.
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Hmmm…the other kid got a really good car for “nothing,” obviously because of her hard work.
I think it’s definitely worth talking to the parents, but I am still not sure why MIT per se is better than LSU based on what the OP wants to do in school and thereafter. That to me is essential.
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I agree. The parents said to not worry about cost. We have offered our kids a loan-free undergraduate degree at in-state costs. MIT was not on the table after running their online cost-calculator. After financing those two degrees at the prices offered the rest is negotiable (we have two kids). The problem is that the parents are re-evaluating their offer post application.
OP, what are your career plans? We might be able to give some more practical advice if we know what you’re considering post graduation.
Take the full ride at LSU and go to the prestigious name brand for your fully funded PhD. You are talking free vs 360k, prob more. Most families who can afford this, have to earn 700k to pay 360k after taxes. How many years of work is that, for them? How much family wealth is that, for them?
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Well there are three sides to every story.
And in the end it’s the parents money.
Whether their decision is logical or not, it is their decision. We, nor OP, are not entitled to make it for them.
There can be a million reasons why they are choosing this route.
Whenever there’s a money discussion on this board, it’s typically take the merit. Spend less. Others correctly say not if someone wants to spend. They can. It’s their money.
This is no different.
The parents, not OP, earned it. The parents can spend as they see fit.
My kid has a car. My second doesn’t. Am I a criminal for treating one differently? Cmon. Yes my kid gives me the same grief.
Her parents got her to where she is. I’m sure they have given her all their love and more. I’m sure they have reason for how they spend the $$ they worked hard to earn and those should be respected.
Again we are talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars with zero guarantees. And for nearly half of MIT grads even more school after at an additional level of expense.
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Seems like your parents added to their initial mistake (of overspending on your older sister’s college costs) by overpromising (to you) and then underdelivering. I.e. their actions are even more of a warning of what not to do to other parents with multiple college-bound kids.
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