<p>I am heartbroken. DS went to preschool with this young man. Too, too sad.</p>
<p>Our deepest condolences to Satto’s family and friends, and the MIT community. This is such a tragic sad loss. You are in our prayers.</p>
<p>Tragic. My condolences to his family and friends.</p>
<p>So very sad to hear of this. I don’t understand how a freshman can be left alone for that length of time either.</p>
<p>^ This is one of the reasons I think it a bad idea to let Freshman have singles. Regardless of how it happened, perhaps he had no close friends yet, or he studied 24/7 and the kids on his floor didn’t think it was unusual not to see him. At least with a roommate someone else would have gone into the room before a week went by. </p>
<p>A relatives friends daughter went to bed with a sore throat and never woke up. There were also rumors spreading that it was something other than natural causes. It was beyond awful that not only did the parents have to deal with her death but the whispers from an uniformed community.</p>
<p>^^ I think it could easily happen if they don’t have a close friend that would notice. DS was in a single last spring and we often only talked to him weekly or so. In between, I would sometimes cyberstalk, facebook, check cellphone use (on our acct) to make sure he was ok.</p>
<p>Even as a sophomore, I’m so much happier he has a roommate.</p>
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<p>I cannot fathom why people are thinking that it would be noticed.</p>
<p>One of my kids lived in a single as a freshman at a major university. There was no one who was responsible for “checking up” on her – nor did she or I expect there to be. Today’s students are treated as adults. They don’t have to check in with anyone and their whereabouts are their own business.</p>
<p>It does not surprise me in the least that this sort of thing could happen on campuses where some students live in singles. Why does it surprise other people? What were you expecting?</p>
<p>I would think that this would be something that the RA/HA would be on top of.
My oldest had a single in college- but her freshman dorm had perhaps 30 students in it- someone who hadn’t been seen for a week would have been noticed.</p>
<p>Why would the RA be on top of it? They don’t do bed checks.</p>
<p>Ops, apologies for typo above-- meant to say EK’s post #16 reminded me of my relative’s sudden cardiac death in college.</p>
<p>I could happen for freshmen at MIT because some freshmen stay away from their dorm and hang around in the fraternity houses that they plan to join. My son was able to stay in a double room couple days during his visit 3 years go because one of the freshman assigned to the room was never in the room. He was at the fraternity house.</p>
<p>This incident is tragic but it’s hard to explain.</p>
<p>Marian,</p>
<p>I cannot fathom that you think it’s reasonable that no one would have any contact with this young man for a week. Other students on the floor would not notice? Who did he eat meals with every day? Friends or family would not contact him? His father is on campus and he doesn’t speak to him for a week? Professors would not notice that he’s missed class? He had no meetings or practices all week and no one thought to check on him? One would expect that any number of those contact points would have been made.</p>
<p>I think this is highly unusual - so much so, that I expect we don’t know the entire story.</p>
<p>I can easily see how it could happen.</p>
<p>Professors do not necessarily take attendance in class, and even if they do, there is not necessarily any follow-up if a student misses class. This is not high school.</p>
<p>As someone else pointed out, RAs do not make bed checks, and students are not required to sleep in their rooms in any event. And while some students live in small dorms where perhaps their absence would be noticed, others do not. The dorm where my daughter lived in a single as a freshman had more than 400 people living in it. And come to think of it, the dorm at another university where my son lived in a single as a sophomore probably had even more – it was a nine-floor high rise.</p>
<p>Students do not necessarily eat with the same people on a regular basis. And even if this student had the habit of eating with a particular group of people, if he didn’t show up for a while, the others would probably assume that he had simply changed his schedule and was eating at a different time or place.</p>
<p>Not all students participate in activities that have mandatory meetings or practices – and even for those who do, the follow-up for an absence might be no more than an e-mail, and nobody would think twice if the student didn’t respond to the e-mail.</p>
<p>As for family and friends, they often don’t think twice if a student doesn’t respond to their text, voice mail, or e-mail messages, either. Nor would other students necessarily think it was significant if they didn’t see this student in the dorm; if they even noticed it, they would probably think that they had simply not crossed paths with each other.</p>
<p>Moreover – and perhaps this is the most significant thing – even if one of the people mentioned above did notice this student’s absence, that person would not have necessarily thought it was significant and would not have had the responsibility to follow up on it.</p>
<p>I would agree that freshman dorms at private universities are undoubtably set up differently than freshman dorms at LACs.
Still I would think adults living in a common space, with shared interests, would notice someone who was missing & their door closed for a week.
If they were observant anyway.</p>
<p>I think that many of your points just try to explain away the inexplicable. </p>
<p>My D is in a single, but most of the students on the hall knock on doors at dinner time - can’t imagine that one of them would not answer the door for a week and no one would mention it to the RA. Some professors in smaller classes do expect an email if there is an absence. My H would wonder if someone was out all week and he would ask the other students if they know what is going on (this has happened). The MIT freshman class is only about 1,000, which is small enough that there are lots of opportunities for one on one interaction between students, facility, advisors, and administration.</p>
<p>Gourmetmom, but the fact is obviously no one noticed anything out of the ordinary so the things you mentioned obviously did not take place.</p>
<p>I felt heartsick when I read of the first death, a sophomore who was the first from his area (mexico, I think) to attend MIT. Now this, a talented 15 year old, whose family was close by. </p>
<p>I hope MIT starts a buddy system. I hate that a child dies alone, and family and friends begin a never ending grieving state.</p>
<p>My point – and I actually do have one – is that parents who think that someone is checking up on their children at college and would notice if something is amiss may be mistaken.</p>
<p>Depending on the particular student’s living arrangement, academic schedule, participation in organized activities or lack of same, and personal habits, a deviation from the norm – including not being seen for a week – might or might not be noticed.</p>
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<p>I, too, took this as a compassionate statement. Young people dying too soon is such a tragedy. We are coming up on the first year anniversary of the death of a dear 18-year-old who fell to the floor during her music lesson and did not regain consciousness. No matter how our dear, young people leave us, it is earth shattering. My sympathies to the families of these young people.</p>
<p>I understand that our kids are treated as adults at schools and yet I cannot reconcile myself to a freshman going “unnoticed” for a week. Would be easy for me as parent not to hear from my DS who, like many others, does not answer emails or texts and only calls 1x/week b/c it’s required. But a lot could happen in that week. I - perhaps naively - assumed that if he didn’t appear for a day or so, someone would check on him - a friend, his RA, someone. And by appear - I mean in class, log on to his computer, or use his dining room card. What if a kid fell and became unconscious or had a seizure or something that made it impossible for him to communicate? DH says I am overreacting b/c I did know this boy from MIT, but I am so tempted to check in with the dean at DS’s school and ask what the plans are. Will no doubt hear that they are on their own…</p>
<p>Huge hugs and condolences to his family and may he rest in peace.</p>