<p>“I felt heartsick when I read of the first death, a sophomore who was the first from his area (mexico, I think) to attend MIT. Now this, a talented 15 year old, whose family was close by.”</p>
<p>He was only 15! What the heck were his parents thinking letting him live in a single room in a dorm? It’s no wonder no one knocked on the door to see if he wanted to go to dinner. The poor kid probably had few, if any friends. There is a world of difference between a 15 yr old, especially one who is a boy, and an 18 yr. old.</p>
<p>My guess is that things were not normal in the first place - this young man may not have been attending class or leaving his room much at all, and that is why no one noticed him missing. Very tragic.</p>
<p>The first time a brilliant child struggles with something can be devastating, and with younger teens, they don’t know how to ask for help. This is so sad…</p>
<p>Perhaps this question should be a new thread, but do you think that the pressure to perform that is apparently felt by high-achieving kids has gotten worse of late? It seems to me that the economic news is gloomy, leading to the feeling that you will only get a good job if you are the best of the best at what you do. Certainly, I get that impression from reading the CC threads about career prospects. The outlook is poor for most everything–unless you’re stellar in your field and also have great people skills, leadership, previous internships, connections, and don’t run up too much UG debt, and… It’s a little overwhelming.</p>
<p>I also ask because I’ve begun to hear from D some unfortunate reports about kids at her school who aren’t handling the pressure well, and are falling into a pattern of social withdrawal (no time for friends, have to study), alchohol abuse, eating disorders, etc. The number of kids just within her network of friends and acquaintances seems too high.</p>
<p>I can see both sides of the debate on why he was not noticed for a week. As parents, I feel it is our jobs to make sure we understand what needs our children have and weigh those against their desires when choosing living arrangements the first year. My daughter was on the fence on wanting a single. We simply guided her to a what, for our family, was a better decision on having a double. We also chose a dorm that is very family focused and most girls keep their doors open on the halls and I have never seen anyone lock a door there. There are dorm rooms all over the spectrum and if parents want the security of knowing that someone might notice their kid is MIA for a week then they need to make sure their situation is one that that would happen.</p>
<p>Regardless…my heart goes out to this family. Natural causes, suicide, accidential overdose, it doesn’t matter. The result was the same. A broken hearted family who will never be the same.</p>
<p>My fault!!! I read the Tech early this A.M. and the '15 got messed up in my head. Class of 2015, not 15 y.o.</p>
<p>This freshman had been in a demanding HS, so he was probably use to lots of stress. He came from an academic background, lived in an upper middle class suburb. The other boy was a sophomore, from as different a background as could be. At this point, no idea as to cause of death.</p>
<p>Many years ago, when son in UG, he could go a week or 2 without contact. Once I threatened to call the Dean; he responded. If he were ill, would he have reached out? Would his roommate?</p>
<p>Not being missed for a week is not the least bit sup rising. Clubs often meet just once a week classes are two maybe three times a week and it would be after that third missed would a prof begin to wonder. As for meals, my daughters and theirnfriends schedules were all over the place with labs sports library eating out etc sonif they got to eat together it was amazing. I never saw my roommate she was always with her bf. As for the father not in contact maybe that was their arrangment, having dad teach where you go to school they decided to create some space. This kid was into music yet he was at MIT…that is what makes me wonder.</p>
<p>Just wanted to chime in and say from a student’s point of view that there’s no reason someone would have noticed him. I live alone, rarely speak with my parents, have only a couple of friends who I hang out with once or twice a month at most, and do not interact with my professors or the people in my classes so if I died in my apartment it would probably be a good week before someone noticed. It was the same last year when I lived in the dorm - I rarely saw the RA and she only knocked on my door once the whole year. </p>
<p>This is an awful tragedy and I am so sorry for everyone involved. There was an unexpected death at my university a couple of months ago, and even though I go to one of the largest universities in the country, everyone knew about it - I can’t imagine the impact a death like this would have on a smaller community. :(</p>
<p>How heartbreaking. And yes, I think it is terribly sad that anyone could be dead for a week anywhere without anyone noticing.</p>
<p>I know that MIT doesn’t really have to do marketing to get students. But lots of schools try to sell themselves on the personal attention that students get and then say “it wasn’t anyone’s responsiblity to check on them.” Maybe those schools could include in their marketing materials “A place where you can be dead for a week and no one will notice!”</p>
<p>GFG, while I am not at all saying anything related to this incident, and I hear this from some MIT grads that I know, it is not exactly the pressure to perform or having some anxiety on prospect for jobs after schools. It is more like most of these kids came from a place where they were the best, most of them breezed through their high schools that could not challenge them enough. When they get to MIT, the talents level is a bit more leveled and the bell curve still does apply even at the more compressed upper range. Some kids cannot handle getting Bs and Cs and get quite rattled by this new found environment. This is why MIT does not do letter grade in the first year or so, I believe.</p>
<p>“My guess is that things were not normal in the first place - this young man may not have been attending class or leaving his room much at all, and that is why no one noticed him missing. Very tragic.”</p>
<p>I agree also. I don’t think his being in his room a lot was unusual either and that is why no one noticed. </p>
<p>Classes, I’m not so sure about. I don’t think it’s unusual for college profs to even pay attention to that, and as a freshman he may have been in fairly large lectures.</p>
<p>“Perhaps this question should be a new thread, but do you think that the pressure to perform that is apparently felt by high-achieving kids has gotten worse of late?”</p>
<p>I do. Colleges have been noticing a lot of it from what I’ve read and have been saying that the kids come in as freshman already burned out.</p>
<p>Is this was back in the '70’s or 80’s when we went to school, I’d say it wasn’t so odd. But this is the generation who is always in contact with each other! No one texted him more than once to meet up for a meal, or tried unsuccessfully to chat with him online? My D’s coach and teammates would notice right away if D turned up missing. But even without them, there would be her boyfriend who sees her regularly, as well as the friend she eats lunch with after class on Wednesdays, etc. I can see this going on a day or two, but more than that seems odd to me.</p>
<p>MIT students skip class all the time. My son told me he did not attend one of his classes almost a semester. Many enroll in classes that have the same lecture time. Profs don’t really care. It’s up to your gut.</p>