Moving into an apartment with my roommate in Miami, made a huge mistake. Help!

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Miami - Florida
1

Hey there! I need serious help.

About a month ago I left Miami to go to NYC for the summer with my boyfriend. My best friend, who I agreed awhile back to move in with for graduate school, was left behind in Miami with her parents to look for an apartment. I told my friend that my max was $1k. Like, serious absolute max. So she’s decently well off, and says that she doesn’t want to be around UM kids so she can focus (fine), needs it to be a highrise building, has to have 24 hour security and a doorman, and other whatever things.
Knowing that her father was a lawyer and that she was my best friend, I assumed I left this job in capable hands. I trusted her, and I severely shouldn’t have and for that I take complete responsibility.
Now, I am in NYC a couple of weeks ago and she video calls me saying she is at an apartment viewing. Place looks beautiful, it’s in Brickell, has a giant view of the bay, fitness center, pools and jacuzzis, and everything we both wanted (I only asked it be near a metro). I say I like the place, albeit I can’t really see since it’s a bit blurry because of spotty connection, but it seems nice enough. Her father (who is, I know now, completely off his nut) hears me say I like it and says he wants to close the deal there and then. I’m confused, to say the least, and my friend proceeds to hang up as I frantically text her messages such as how many bedrooms, bathrooms, and the overall price of the place. It turns out the place is $2300/monthly, so split evenly as we had agreed I would end up paying $1,150. I let her know this and she got really mad at me over the phone saying that I said around $1k not max $1k, and that this place included utilities and was beautiful and in an amazing location for a great deal so I was lucky and shouldn’t complain. After thinking it over, I thought, well if she’s saying it’s that amazing and a great deal her father who is a lawyer was able to negotiate, she’s my best friend and I should believe her.

I spend a few more weeks in NYC before I decide that NYC wasn’t being too kind to me, and I moved back to Miami in a rush. She tells me I need to sign and send in the renters agreement immediately so as not to delay it any further. Again, trusting her judgement, I sign the agreement and send off a copy in an email.
Then she finally shows me the place in person. I do my best to not freak out. Yes, very pretty, whatever, but I realise that she has taken for herself the giant master bedroom and that I am left with enough space to only fit a full size bed and nothing else. Obviously, I realise very quickly that I have made a mistake.
That evening I go and try to talk to her, and she accuses me of “nickel and diming” her parents, and that I should be grateful and not complain. I am asking her to lower the price on my end since I have an extremely smaller amount of space, and she agrees that my room is, in her exact words, “substantially smaller” than her room, but she says that she’ll ask her dad when he’s in a good mood and says that she can maybe take $50 off per month but that she makes no promises. I’m appalled, honestly. Of course, I know I agreed to split it evenly, and she mentioned that when I spoke to her. She says it’s “frankly not [her] fault I f-ed up”. I agreed to split the cost evenly under the assumption that we would be living in a space where we would have an at least almost equal amount of space. Yes, I had two floor to ceiling walls that are just windows in my room, but I honestly don’t care for it. I prefer to have the bigger room with a less great view, lol.

Does all of this sound fair to you? What should I do? She is my best friend and I know that a renters agreement isn’t a lease, so I could really back out, but I don’t want to 1) lose her as a friend (she’s going to be important to my career) and 2) upset her father, who is a VERY crazy and successful lawyer, attempt retaliation against me.

What do I do? My grandmother has been saying it’s all fine, but she admitted to me tonight that the only reason she’s going along with this all is because she’s afraid of my friend’s father retaliating against me and trying to then have me pay some of the security deposit, etc that he already paid, or trying to sue me, or somehow ruining my credit, or whatever else a powerful and insane lawyer can do. All of these being things I don’t have the money for.

Do you think it’s worth even arguing about, or should I just accept the consequences for trusting my best friend? Her room is almost 3x the size of mine at best, and about 2x the size at worst.

Thanks in advance, xoxo!

2

You should flip for the bigger bedroom if you are paying equal amounts, or agree to switch after 6 months. If she won’t agree, tell her that your room is 40% the size of hers and you’ll pay 40% of the rent and she should pay 60%. I assume you also have the ‘main’ bathroom that guests will use and that the master bedroom has its own bathroom.

3

@twoinanddone Is there any way to assure that I won’t be retaliated against though? Is what she’s asking for legal? I don’t know how to go about this whole situation

4

Of course she can ‘retaliate’ (say bad things, make your life miserable?) if you walk away from her. I don’t know what you signed - first you said a ‘renter’s agreement’ but then said that wasn’t a lease. Who are the parties to the renter’s agreement? What does it say? Are you paying rent to her and then she pays the lease?

Better to get out now. Can she find another roommate? Can you find another place to live? Why is her father involved at all? You two are in grad school. It’s time to stand up for yourself.

5

@twoinanddone we’re both 19, we’re kinda young for grad students. I mean if her father can retaliate legally. The renters agreement is pretty much a document you have to sign in order to apply to live in the building. Her father already signed the lease under his name, so I’m guessing I’d be paying him every month. Her father is involved because he’s a lawyer and kind of insane, he pays all her bills so he controls her life. Yes, I can find another place to live, but I am mostly afraid of retaliation from her father in a somehow legal way, and losing her as a friend. For $1,150/monthly to live in a walk in closet with a view, I doubt she’d be able to find another roommate.

6

You need to decide if you can afford to live this way. Can you pay $1150 a month after insisting $1000 was your absolute limit? My son lives in NYC, but not in Manhattan and pays $900 per month in a not-so-great area. He lives in a two bedroom ground level/basement apartment with a single bathroom that he shares with a roommate. They pay for electric, cable and WiFi. That runs another $100 a month apiece.

My son’s roommate did not have the saved money, credit rating or guarantor to secure the place which needed security deposit, first and last month up front. My son secured all of that. So he took the larger room in recompense. I think that’s fair. If he can come up to equal footing, in that regard, there should either be an adjustment in rent or a swap of rooms after a year.

You signed a contract. You are an adult. Unless something comes up that makes it impossible to pay the rent, or highly adverse to stick around there, IMO , you are stuck. You keep blaming high pressure tactics on your signing that contract. That is on YOU! YOU signed so you are now legally culpable so absolutely they can retaliate if you renege. You deserve for your weakness that way. As you say upfront, it Is on you. Unless you simply can’t pay. Can’t squeeze money from a stone and if that’s where you are, you gotta lay it out and show you have no money. If you can possibly pay, you are stuck with the contract unless you buy your way out, or however the contract lets you out.

My suggestion is to take it on the chin this year. Your room mate gets the bigger room because her father and she did all the work and paid (?) the deposits. You spend this year looking for cheaper options and get the heck out to something more affordable when your lease is up. Hopefully, you signed a lease that lets you out. I suggest you study the terms of what you signed

And next time, be a responsible adult and don’t get pushed into signing something you don’t want. Make sure you understand the terms of your contract.

7

That’s not a friend, imo. Read what you signed carefully and if you can walk away, walk away.

8

Sorry you’re upset. But, “…trusting her judgement, I sign the agreement” is the first mistake. No one should sign a document without better knowledge.

Have you now read the rental agreement? If her father truly signed the lease, this is the agreement you and your friend (and, by extension, her father.) None of us know what it says, though we do know what is usually covered.

But we don’t know if it’s that or you actually signed a lease with the rental management.

9

Tell her you want to switch rooms after the end of the semester. Otherwise you will pay 40% of the rent, not 50%.

Doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me.

10

This is what is called a “life lesson”.
This experience will benefit you for years to come.

11

Agree with @twoinanddone Rents should be proportional based on size of bedroom. My D and her 2 roommates are in NYC. 2018 grads. They just signed their second lease. Each is paying a different amount based on bedroom size. Girl who got the “closet” last year had first pick. They worked it out without parental involvement. If your friend is stubborn and refuses and you’ve signed a legal document you might be stuck for a year. If so, work out NOW any other costs such as WiFi, cleaning supplies, even food. As others have pointed out, it’s a learning lesson. Your call on whether the friendship is worth either digging heels in or bailing, but at the very least you should make case for proportional rents.

12

An easy answer seems to be that she should pay or so extra for the larger bedroom. That is the way my kids have worked out apartment shares when the bedrooms are different sizes. That would help to alleviate your financial pressure and make the situation more bearable for the year you have agreed to live there.

13

Yes on the switch. “Dibs” no longer works when you are paying rent. Just talk to her and say that to be fair 10558913 to switch out half way. If she says no, then ask her why she thinks you should pay more than her per sq ft?

As for exceeding $1000, might be worth it if utilities included. ESP if dad put down the deposit!

14

OP already signed some rental agreement. We have no details for that. If Dad’s the lease holder, OP is like a tenant. His deal, his daughter picked first. No? So it depends.

She can ask nicely but not sure she can demand.

Just saying, my girls never cared who got what room.

15

You certainly risk being seen as the flake, you left this all to your friend and fluttered off to NYC. Her parents are taking the lease, you are possibly getting a better deal than you imagine as you have put no sweat equity or money into this, you haven’t provided a deposit, you don’t have your own guarantor, you left a 19 yr old and her dad to do your work for you (flat hunting is tedious). How much time do you expect to stay in a bedroom anyway? You really can only ask for less rent as your room is smaller, that has been my experience also in a house share where we payed more for the master AND rotated every 6 months.

    If this dad is   "powerful and insane lawyer" ....... completely off his nut",  you should be much more careful about posting details on a public social media site. Also this dad, took time to apartment search with his dd.  You yourself were leveraging his ability to negotiate.

You are 19 and going to grad school to study what?

16

@OperaAdri ,
If you signed a lease, you probably bound to follow it through. If you did not sign a lease, you’re probably free to leave any time you wish. If this “rental agreement” is not a lease, then you might be free to leave.

Whether or not your friend will remain your friend, I have no idea. It is very possible two teenagers did not have the clearest most detailed conversation about moving in together that could have been had. It’s possible you both feel the other party is not “doing the right thing.” It is possible you both feel misled and taken advantage of.

In the end, if you cannot afford it, there is nothing else really to discuss. If you cannot afford it, calmly tell her so and find a less expensive place to live. The issue with the bedroom is typical among young roommates, but it is also inconsequential as to the bigger issue of cost. If you can afford it, I think you should pay half (or minus $50, if the roommate agrees) and stand by your promise.

You have learned an important lesson. It’s not a smart idea to try to secure an apartment when you’re a thousand miles away. If you trust someone else to handle it for you, you have to be adult enough to live with the things you don’t love about it. Next time, if all the things that bother you about this are important to you, make sure you are around to househunt for yourself.
Good luck.