My Appeal Letter

<p>This is another draft. Please let me know what I could do to improve it. My GPA and grades aren't the best but, alas, here we go. I appreciate any feedback...</p>

<p>"First, I thank you for potentially taking another look at my application, and for acknowledging this letter. “You have made a mistake” is a statement I’m sure a plethora of students have shared with U’s admission’s department over the last few weeks, hoping to diminish your establishment. Truthfully, I do not believe U has made a mistake in its decision. A school has the unenviable job of searching through a large pool of exceptional individuals, and then choosing a select few to create the required class size. Yes, this letter is being written as an appeal for my admissions decision for the Fall of 2013, but additionally, it’s about giving my dream school one more shot. I will always hold U in the highest regard, and it is with this reverence that I write to you.</p>

<p>I’m aware of every grade I have received, from A to D. I take responsibility for each one. I am a boxer though, and I still have to get in the ring one more time. There is a high chance that I’m going to get knocked out, but it’s a risk that I must take. My GPA is something that was majorly affected by Biology 4, in which I kept receiving D’s. Science has never been my strong suit, and in that class I truly tried my best. I stayed after class to garner help from the professors, studied for hours in the library, joined study groups, and even went to a tutor, but plant biology and I just didn’t click. </p>

<p>Film is the only thing I’m good at, or at least good enough to make a career out of. Like any other occupation one desires, you first need experience. I’m swimming in the pool of potential, but the pool for success is on the other side. U is the conduit between both bodies of water, and is the only key to my success. I have visited other surrounding film schools to play fair, and nothing is comparable to U’s institution. It is the singular place capable of molding me into the best “Me” I can be. Film is a medium I take serious and hold in high regard, which U does on a massive scale. It is put on an equal plane with the likes of Business, Biology, and so forth. </p>

<p>On a more intimate scale, I share it with my father, who is getting older, and with that his health has debilitated, due to him being overweight in his later years. He recently dropped the bomb that he will not live much longer. Outside of film, we never really had similar interests. How Ridley Scott framed and lit his shots in Alien is an easy conversation for us to have. My dad has always championed by decision to go to U. He has been unhealthily overweight for the last few years. Between trying to help him lose weight, going to school, working any job I could find, and trying to boost my film experience, life has been an overwhelming rollercoaster to say the least. He always told me “thank me in your Oscar speech”, to which I would say: “Eat healthy, so you can see that day, papa.” But to no success. In short, he would eat unhealthy food behind my back, and now it’s too late. I know I’m not the only one with hardships, but we’re all equipped with different thresholds. All I know is the way I personally deal with things. </p>

<p>I will stay focused on my studies and work hard to receive excellent marks; all A’s during my time at U. Integrity and honesty are the traits that I’m most proud of, and I adhere to them every moment I breathe. I understand that this written promise will most likely be deemed futile and an unnecessary addition. But I must bare my soul. I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and this new, sudden, shocking shift in my life has galvanized me in especially keeping this one. The high expectations you have for me will be met. Fundamentally, I want to make U proud, my dad proud, and leave the Earth a better place than it was when I entered it."</p>

<p>What is the school you’re appealing to? What was your GPA and/or SAT/ACT?</p>

<p>Please tell me you’re joking. This has gotten worse since you first posted, and it was painful to read then. You need to move on and get some credentials - this will not help you.</p>

<p>What I don’t see here is any reason your rejection should be considered. Really, really, really wanting to attend is not a reason; believing with all your heart that the school is the best option for you is not a reason; the tale about your father, which frankly has nothing to do with anything, is not a reason. You truly do need to move on–this letter, which at best reveals a rather unhealthy obsession with one college, is not going to get you anywhere. There are many schools where you can major in film.</p>

<p>No offense but this appeals letter is really bad.</p>

<p>People are being unusually rude here, but I agree with MommaJ, you aren’t providing a reason to overturn their decision. The letter is passionate and well written but the content isn’t exactly appropriate for an appeal letter.</p>

<p>In fact, saying “I tried really hard to do well in Biology and still didn’t” and “I’m only good at film” might even reinforce their decision. You should move on.</p>

<p>Now, if you recently produced an award-winning film, that would be a good reason to contact them…</p>

<p>I wasn’t trying to be rude, but the OP got some solid advice the last time he posted this and ignored it completely, instead expanding on irrelevant details. The whole notion that the rest of the people appealing are trying to “diminish the establishment” is so tonally wrong as to make the rest fodder for the office to chuckle over. Surely, that is not the response the OP wants.</p>

<p>I appreciate every piece of advice I’ve received so far, guys. I’ve been hit with negativity many times in my life, and it’s going to take a lot more to diminish this brick wall! ;-)</p>

<p>Anyway, I had to help out my dad these last couple of years, trying to get him to eat healthy, and exercise with him. Problem is, he kept consuming unhealthily behind my back, and now we’re at where we are now…the way I never gave up on him maybe manifests in the way I won’t give up on this school…</p>

<p>Your letter does not show the school how it would benefit by having you on campus… Other than idol worship , what do you bring?</p>

<p>I recently replied to your request for a sample letter on another thread, before I saw this. I don’t even know where to start. Your letter is WAY too long, it rambles, and it doesn’t ever tell for what compelling reason you should now be accepted. Honestly, I lost interest after 2 sentences. You have to remember that admissions processors have been reading literally thousands of essays in the last few months. The last thing they want to do is read another long, drawn out essay. </p>

<p>Your essay as posted is 4-5 times too long. It should be very short, concise and get to the point immediately. No offense, but they don’t care that you really, really want to go to their school. Their purpose when reviewing applications is not to improve your relationship with your father- that is in your hands. If your grades in the past have not been great, why should they believe that you will earn all A’s once in college?</p>

<p>You have no chance with this letter. If you decide to send a letter anyway, it should be very short (no more than 300 words). Grammar must be perfect. You must give a solid, concrete reason they should reverse their decision (got a film internship in the meantime, forgot to mention that grades weren’t great because I was homeless, had a serious medical condition which affected my time in school, etc.) Don’t use flowery language. </p>

<p>In the meantime, you really need to look for some other options for school next year. Thousands of kids on this board were rejected from schools they “really wanted to go to”. It happens and there is usually nothing you can do about it. Sounds like it might be time to move on.</p>