<p>This is another draft. Please let me know what I could do to improve it. My GPA and grades aren't the best but, alas, here we go. I appreciate any feedback...</p>
<p>"First, I thank you for potentially taking another look at my application, and for acknowledging this letter. You have made a mistake is a statement Im sure a plethora of students have shared with Us admissions department over the last few weeks, hoping to diminish your establishment. Truthfully, I do not believe U has made a mistake in its decision. A school has the unenviable job of searching through a large pool of exceptional individuals, and then choosing a select few to create the required class size. Yes, this letter is being written as an appeal for my admissions decision for the Fall of 2013, but additionally, its about giving my dream school one more shot. I will always hold U in the highest regard, and it is with this reverence that I write to you.</p>
<p>Im aware of every grade I have received, from A to D. I take responsibility for each one. I am a boxer though, and I still have to get in the ring one more time. There is a high chance that Im going to get knocked out, but its a risk that I must take. My GPA is something that was majorly affected by Biology 4, in which I kept receiving Ds. Science has never been my strong suit, and in that class I truly tried my best. I stayed after class to garner help from the professors, studied for hours in the library, joined study groups, and even went to a tutor, but plant biology and I just didnt click. </p>
<p>Film is the only thing Im good at, or at least good enough to make a career out of. Like any other occupation one desires, you first need experience. Im swimming in the pool of potential, but the pool for success is on the other side. U is the conduit between both bodies of water, and is the only key to my success. I have visited other surrounding film schools to play fair, and nothing is comparable to Us institution. It is the singular place capable of molding me into the best Me I can be. Film is a medium I take serious and hold in high regard, which U does on a massive scale. It is put on an equal plane with the likes of Business, Biology, and so forth. </p>
<p>On a more intimate scale, I share it with my father, who is getting older, and with that his health has debilitated, due to him being overweight in his later years. He recently dropped the bomb that he will not live much longer. Outside of film, we never really had similar interests. How Ridley Scott framed and lit his shots in Alien is an easy conversation for us to have. My dad has always championed by decision to go to U. He has been unhealthily overweight for the last few years. Between trying to help him lose weight, going to school, working any job I could find, and trying to boost my film experience, life has been an overwhelming rollercoaster to say the least. He always told me thank me in your Oscar speech, to which I would say: Eat healthy, so you can see that day, papa. But to no success. In short, he would eat unhealthy food behind my back, and now its too late. I know Im not the only one with hardships, but were all equipped with different thresholds. All I know is the way I personally deal with things. </p>
<p>I will stay focused on my studies and work hard to receive excellent marks; all As during my time at U. Integrity and honesty are the traits that Im most proud of, and I adhere to them every moment I breathe. I understand that this written promise will most likely be deemed futile and an unnecessary addition. But I must bare my soul. I dont make promises I cant keep, and this new, sudden, shocking shift in my life has galvanized me in especially keeping this one. The high expectations you have for me will be met. Fundamentally, I want to make U proud, my dad proud, and leave the Earth a better place than it was when I entered it."</p>