<p>OK, I never thought I would post such a thing on a public forum. But I dont care. I just want to tell someone about me, about the miseries Ive lived through since my rejection.
I thought being directly rejected by Midd was the end of my suffering, but it turned out to be the start. Everyone around me was making fun of me for my failure and they thought someone like me shouldnt have applied to Middlebury because a college like Middlebury would never accept someone like me. I didnt care. At least I made an effort. At least I tried. Eventually that miracle didnt happen and I knew I shouldnt blame anyone because for the past three years I had my success and apologized to no one. I remember I got excited when I received decent score in SAT. I remember I got happy when a leukemia child could continue his therapy with my help. Each success I achieved, each top I reached, each step I took
each
well, I got closer to my Midd dream and the process itself was satisfying to me. It was all about me. It was my decision not to apply ED2 to any other college and to wait for my final decision from Midd. It was my decision not to apply for any financial aid from Midd though I knew my family could barely afford the cost. It was all about me.
Since Im always a persistent person, I wont just give up my dream so easily. I still want to have a try, however small the chance is. So I was thinking about applying transfer admission to Middlebury. My parents disagreed with me because it would be humiliating to re-apply to a college that once rejected me, not to mention if it would reject me again
. They are telling the truth. Though Middlebury does accept transfers each year, Im an international student and I will be applying for financial aid because my parents will no longer support my tuition if I apply to Midd without financial aid again. In any case, I can imagine how small my chance is
but there is a chance.
For that conviction, I told my brother about my intention to apply transfer to Midd next year at dinner tonight. I thought he would support my plan even though my parents dismissed my thought. Instead, he slapped me on the face, thinking that I was disobedient, that I shouldnt pursue my fancy Midd dream at the expense of adding to my parents financial stresses.
What? But I will be applying for financial aid in my transfer application
but
God my own brother slapped me on the face, but I did nothing in response to his violence.
It feels strange to post such embarrassing thing on a public forum, but on the way back home, I felt shameful and wronged and lonely especially. I decide to tell someone and no longer hide how I felt. I just wanna live a life that is mine. I just wanna make a decision that is mine. I just wanna go to a college that I truly love. But most importantly, I just wanna have my family support me and respect my decision. Thats so simple, at least I think. But it tortures me so much just at the thought of losing my familys support. Now Im looking at the kind words an American father on this forum wrote to me when I got rejected by Midd two months ago. Knowing that someone besides my family still cares about me is meaningful, especially at this moment.</p>
<p>I don’t know your grades, your financial situation or anything else about your application.</p>
<p>I am sorry your brother slapped you. Physical violence is always traumatic and upsetting. Is there some counselor/religious pastor your could speak to? Or would your parents be sympathetic? Is this the first time? You absolutely should not put up with that.</p>
<p>As for the specifics of your post, I will say that you should probably not think of a transfer until you have tried the school you are attending. Try to let go of Middlebury and move on.</p>
<p>Many of these dreams we cling so tenaciously to are just that, dreams, and once attained they don’t magically solve all our problems the way we thought they would. If holding onto this dream is keeping you from accepting the situation you are in, it is destructive. You may fall in love with the experience you are having.</p>
<p>If you find yourself still thinking about transferring next year, that is time to make the decision. If you can withstand the feeling of rejection and the pain of not being able to attend if the financials don’t work out, go ahead. However, be aware that I don’t think Middlebury is need blind for international students. Amherst still is. I am not sure which other colleges are, but I would think about them.</p>
<p>If you want to attend an American LAC and money is an issue and you still want to transfer I would advise you to open your net a little wider than Middlebury. It can still be your favorite, but Grinnell, for example, has a large international population and merit scholarships. Mt. Holyoke (assuming you’re female) has a large international population and like Grinnell is less selective than Middlebury.</p>
<p>I know this is a Middlebury forum, and Middlebury is an awesome, beautiful, and exceptionally appealing school, but life does not have to begin and end with Middlebury. (I would say the same for any school – no offense Middlebury folks.)</p>
<p>Dufour, I feel ur feeling and respect ur decision :). Follow ur dream no, u never know if u dont try.</p>
<p>If u want someone to listen, shoot me a message in this forum, then we can talk :)</p>
<p>Dear Dufour I am so sorry. I think Mythmom gives great advise. There are lots of other colleges where you could be happy and successful-please go to your accepted college with an open mind, try to make friends, and give it a shot.
Don’t let your self-esteem be tied to something so arbitrary. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, just not lucky.
My oldest was wait-listed,accepted Feb and attended a small LAC much lower ranked than Midd for a semester(near our hometown). He had some great professors and made a lot of friends in the honors program.It was hard for him to leave for Midd. He eventually decided to try it because “it was everyone’s dream school” Now he is happy at Midd, but admits he also could have been happy at his first school. He is still visits his friends there.
So try to “bloom where you are planted”. Midd is great, but so are many many other colleges. I’m sure you’ll find a bright future wherever you go.</p>
<p>Listen to mythmom.
Middlebury, or any other educational institution, should never be your “dream.” Dreams are meant to be something more grand–something that truly defines your future life, not something that is printed on your diploma that you can stare at later.</p>
<p>I am going to sound as bitter as your family but I do believe that as you stated (“It was all about me”), it is quite selfish of you. From your post it seems you have financial restraints and by that, you should certainly know (at your age) that you cannot get everything you want. You even have a sibling who had already felt this limit and the feeling of not being able to do anything he fancied or “dreamed” to do. But you, to his face, told him that you were going to continue applying to one place that will certainly be a huge burden on your parents financially.</p>
<p>Well, my main problem is the fact that you are looking at Middlebury as if it will be the key to success or the end (whereas it is just the means to an end). Let me be blunt: I find that the admissions here is very willing for international students. There are students here who were accepted with low numbers. You even applied without the financial aid status to make yourself more appealing to the college (with the additional $200,000+) but you were rejected. It is definitely the time for you to let go.</p>
<p>I certainly can never be supportive of what you are hoping to do because I do not want to feed your hopes that will later result in a greater fight between yourself and the rest of your family. Your family is in no doubt frustrated at your naivety and your lack of concern for their wellbeing while you, as you mentioned, are being selfish and thinking that your family does not care about your future. </p>
<p>Of course they do but you cannot expect them to slave themselves away just so that you could have an education at Middlebury. Besides, Middlebury isn’t Harvard or Ox/Cam.</p>