My Brown college essay

Applying to College
1

<p>Topic: French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?</p>

<p>What don’t I know? Having only lived for less than two decades, there is so much that I haven’t learned or even begun to comprehend, that even listing what I don’t know would exceed 500 words, or even pages. There are areas of medical knowledge that I do not understand such as how medicines and vaccines can remedy specific diseases. I admit that I wouldn't know to truly restore sick patients to health beyond providing them with band-aids or Tylenol. I don’t know how to approach someone ill and in need of intensive care, and leave him or her healed and well again. According to Anatole France, being able to distinguish what you don’t know between what you do know is an education. Reading his quote and writing this essay made me realize that I don’t have all of the knowledge that a skilled, trained physician must have. However, it has linked what I haven’t learned to what I do understand and what I am willing to know. I do know that treating a patient requires compassion, feeling, and not merely linking the person’s symptoms to whatever sickness or infection they correspond to. I am very determined to know how to apply my knowledge of science and the human body to curing and alleviating anyone in poor health. </p>

<p>This is a supplementary essay for one of my colleges. Are there any punctuation or grammatical errors? Do any sentences need to be added or removed? Please be harsh, thanks.</p>

2

<p>Somehow, for me, the essay comes across as very telling. And the question, then, is, “Do you want your essay to tell me, or to show me your passion for medicine?”</p>

3

<p>I think you’re trying a little too hard to push your med-school-hopeful, science whiz thing, which I’m sure you’ve demonstrated in your application. Grammatically, it looks fine. I just think you should try a bit more creativity with this answer.</p>

4

<p>I think this is sort of generic. A lot of people will be writing about what they don’t know academically; you want to write about something more personal.</p>

5

<p>Some grammar issues.</p>

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I believe you need a “how” between “know” and “to.”</p>

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<p>I think this should be “being able to distinguish BETWEEN what you don’t know AND what you do know is an education.” However, there’s subtle difference between distinguishing what you don’t know from what you do and distinguishing what you do know from what you don’t, if you get my drift.</p>