My DS'18 has night time enuresis. Shall I disclose that in Parents' Reflection Sheet for GC?

Help! I have been searching CC with the key word nighttime enuresis but nothing came up. Therefore, I decide to start a new discussion. My rising senior has been a bed wetter his entire life. We tried everything but he probably will not stop his bedwetting before entering college. We are all frustrated and too embarrassed to talk about it. Shall I disclose that piece of information in Parents’ Reflection Sheet for Guidance Counselor to justify his lack of overnight extra curricula? Academically, he is an A+ student with almost perfect stats. I feel bad for him that he cannot deal with summer camp or overnight retreat. DS’18 has been kept it as a secret and would be very upset if I reveal it to his school. Shall he even mention it in his college app as he has been struggling with it his entire life? Will he be discriminated for being a bed wetter in college admission? The Parents’ Reflection or Bragg Sheet has been overdue for a month. I just can’t decide whether to say it or not. I know he has been labeled as intelligent but lazy by his school. I feel it is unfair to call him lazy. Thanks.

How much medical help have you had? Does he have any other medical issues? Have you aggressively pursued the kind of underlying medical conditions that could cause this in an adult? You have good medical insurance?

What kind of EC that requires overnight participation? He cannot be labeled lazy if he did not have those ECs.
Does he have daytime ECs?
I would not break the confidentiality.
Maybe you should ask him to see a specialist.

We have very good medical insurance. He has been seen by numerous urologists in world class hospitals. We tried all kinds of bed alarms but nothing works. Thanks.

Thanks. Good point. He does have several good daytime ECs. He is a Varsity swimmer and a violinist.

This is way beyond alarms, what about sleep studies? Neurologist ?When was he last given a big workup with bloods etc?

Tried sleep studies four times in his life but found nothing. Strangely, he had dry nights whenever he slept in hospitals. Bed wetters tend to have symptoms similar to ADHD so that’s why his teachers think he is lazy for his forgetfulness and procrastination. We haven’t tried neurologist but will do next. Thanks.

For starters, I would ask my son. He may be embarrassed to let his GC know.

I know of very few extra curriculars that involve overnights, so I’m not so sure it will factor into his recommendation letter.

If you’re satisfied with his medical status, and you both have a handle on rooming arrangements for college-- is he staying home? Or planning on getting a single?-- then I’m not sure there’s any reason to consider it in terms of college at all.

We can choose not to disclose it but I am worried about doing those roommate essay required by some colleges.

I would not disclose now. Many, many kids don’t do EC’s that require an overnight stay so I don’t think it’s necessary.

What I would do is contact the housing office of his college after admission. His condition should qualify him for a single room. As for the roommate essay, he should concentrate on the same things everyone else does- what a great friend and interesting person he is.

As a parent, I would call the school and ask. That way, it’s not in writing.

I had a client many years ago, (1992?) who kept having a “runny nose” and had told me that he had “allergies”. It affected his speech and was a concern enough for me to mention it to the parent. When I met with the parent, we reviewed the child’s medical history. He was in 6th grade at the time. She was embarrassed but mentioned the enuresis and that her son couldn’t go to camp. (I had recently read a study regarding these kids with nasal concerns and “allergies” who also had enuresis, and were treated with nasal spray.) I mentioned this to the parent and she said she would ask her pediatrician about it.

I didn’t know the specifics but the parent called me, about a month later, to tell me that her child had been prescribed some nasal spray and that the bedwetting had stopped and the “allergy” symptoms had stopped. His speech sounded clearer.

I am not a physician and this case is not specific to your son but has your family explored that medical area? You could ask your PMD?

What nasal spray? DDAVP is a management tool, but not a cure.
A proper workup would include an endocrinologist and neruologist at the very least. When was the last sleep study? No signs of sleep apnoea? When was the last endocrinologist work up?

Thanks for all your replies. Will try nasal spray. He does have other physical problems like allergies, athema, and chronic ear infection.

                You would have been offered a specific nasal spray before now for management of enuresis, does he have a psych? 

DDAVP or other similar medication doesn’t work. Never tried endocrinologies and neurologist. They didn’t find sleep apnea nor elipsey. Thanks.

Again, I am not a physician, so you should consult your doctor before you try anything. I agree that your son needs a full work up.
Your PMD may refer to your ENT, if the problem has been chronic and has been unresolved.

Well, a neuro and endo consults would have been appropriate well before now. And whoever manages his ADHD, is that a psych, they should be part of the picture. How long since his last big workup even within your current management plan? When does he turn 18?

I would never disclose something personal like that unless he lets it be known. Are K12 GCs and colleges really faulting students for not having overnight extracurriculars? I certainly hope not.

I don’t see what bedwetting really has to do with a school calling him lazy. Does he not participate in class, skip class, get bad grades? If they’re calling him lazy because he doesn’t go to overnight camp somewhere, the GC really is over the top and unprofessional.

I was a bed wetter my whole life until I arrived at college. It never happened again! A different environment and new start can help!!

One of my sons suffered from enuresis until he was almost 18. We visited urologists, he was under the care of a neuro doc for his inattentive ADD and sequellae from lead poisoning, we tried biofeedback, which was great for the attention span but did nothing for the wetting, bed alarms, walking him at night before we went to bed. We used DDAVP and it helped for awhile. When he got older, we got it in pill form and after trying it out for a couple of weeks, we felt safe enough to let him do overnights on it. We started with his grandmother, then a couple of trusted friends who would give him the pill, then when he was about 12, we would give him the pill himself and call him to remind him to take it. He never forgot because he didn’t want anyone to know. Eventually, it tapered down and soon it was stopped. When he hadn’t wet for three months, we bought him a new mattress.

For your son, I would second a private room and I would get a rubber mattress cover and encourage him to wash his sheets frequently.

Good luck, I understand how devastating this issue can be.