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<p>This says it all for me.</p>
<p>Well put, Pinot Noir. It IS a toughie. My D tends the other way; still just believes what I say. I like that the OP’s S is trying to think for himself. But yes, we are awash in information these days, not all (not even some) good or valid. Learning to discern how to read/think/believe is an important skill for our kids. </p>
<p>I wonder what the OP’s S thinks of Gardisil? Is he okay risking genital/oral/throat warts and/or cancer? Or giving a girl cervical cancer, if he becomes a carrier of HPV?</p>
<p>We just had the battle of all battles. His phone is disconnected and car keys confiscated because he was such a disrespectful little know-it-all. I spoke w tufts and the nurse did say she thought he would be protected from his initial dose. We spoke/ screamed about believing any and all crack pot on the web and the responsibility one had to ones community but it all fell on deaf ears. The best I got him to agree to was that if there was an outbreak in the Boston area he would revisit the issue. Honestly , I’d not pay for college but then I would have to deal with him all fall. We need a break.</p>
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<p>I kinda get the feeling there’s more going on than the vaccination issue…</p>
<p>You could try what I used to say to my kids about bike helmets:“Lots of the moms in this neighborhood are nurses and they are used to pushing kids around in wheelchairs, but I am not a nurse.” it would be the same for amputations. It was harsh, but my kids understood. Hugs to you cheeky monkey. I lucked out. My son walked in a little while ago and I said that we need to get him in for a physical and immunizations. He said okay.</p>
<p>Actually yes, i’ m all for disagreements even heated ones, but there is one thing that actually drives me crazy mad is when someone calls you names during an argument . For example , I feel strongly that you can say " your argument is dumb" but you Cannot call the person you are speaking with " dumb". We have had this conversation and repeatedly and clearly my parental teachings have not stuck in. When he sneered and called me an impolite name " bit…" I removed myself and steadying shutting his phone down, etc. Honestly even though he’s apologized its been one of those crappy days.</p>
<p>“We just had the battle of all battles. His phone is disconnected and car keys confiscated because he was such a disrespectful little know-it-all.” </p>
<p>Ohhhhh! Sounds like you have an extreme case of “soiling the nest” syndrome happening at your home, rather than just a disagreement about vaccinations .
relax mom . turn on his phone, give him back the car keys and ignore his rude behavior over the next 3 months. He’s probably feeling a lot of angst, but doesn’t want to admit it, and is subconsciously preparing himself to leave you in the Fall, by making you the one who pushes him out of the nest. Lots of kids become major pains in the butt during that last summer at home…Trust me, he’s really not doing it on purpose… Mr Hyde eventually does eventually turn back into Dr Jeckel. </p>
<p>Deep breathes, and repeat this to yourself when you feel your blood pressure rise- " this too shall pass"…
It will. No need to make this a war over control during his last few months at home. you both will regret it. In time he will apologize to you over the immature way he acted. dont make the mistake of acting in an immature way too.<br>
they do become nice to their parents again after a couple of years away at college.</p>
<p>The summer before college is stressful for all, even if we do not realize it. We are stressing because they are leaving and they are stressing because they are leaving. It surfaces in different ways. I sometimes think they are so darned rude so that we are just a little happy to see them go. Hang in there.</p>
<p>Dadadada. Channeling through menlowparkmom. Cross post.</p>
<p>I have never heard a child referred to that way on CC and I have been here for years.</p>
<p>*. I’m really nice but i can turn into psycho mom at the drop of a hat. My theory is that i can’t stop you from making me unhappy or miserable by not living up to your responsibilities , but if i’m unhappy we’re all going into scorched earth mode. No money, no phone, no computer, no cable or electronics no video games. Why would anyone want to chose a life of deprivation when a life of relative luxury is awarded for good grades? think when I first ripped up the homework my son was young enough that it made a great impression . *</p>
<p>I think someone can’t let their child grow up.</p>
<p>I do understand the distancing and leaving the nest. But really , I’m just so fed up with the rude names during an argument and then the nice apology an hour later and " oh , would I mind turning on his phone ?" it will be a cold day in he’ll. He ‘s not grounded- he can come and go as he pleases just don’ t drive my cars. All this over a shot! On a lighter side he did say that if he had to get a vaccine he wouldn’t go to Tufts but he would drop out and go join the Hells Angels. If you could see this blond 130 pound kid who only likes to eat organic food you would die laughing.</p>
<p>ek, I haven’t either. I would be really, really hurt if my parent said that about me even if it was anonymously and even if I was being a total jerk. JMHO as a young adult.</p>
<p>My son also had his first meningitis vaccination when he was 14. He went for his 18 year-old physical and agreed to all available vaccinations. He got the HPV (gardisil), but the doctor said he didn’t need the meningitis booster until next year (5 years after the first one) So, really, it sounds like the booster is not completely necessary yet. Maybe just let this one go… for sanity’s sake. He’s got some immunity from the first dose… maybe he’s just fighting for fighting’s sake. (as in the “fouling the nest” others have referred to)</p>
<p>Oh…Cheekymonkey… I just read your recent update. I feel for you …I really do. Kids can be SO mean to their parents. Take a deep breath and lock yourself in your room. He needs to cool off (and apologize to you!) Try not to take it too personally. (((HUGS)))</p>
<p>Vaccines are a subject that should be nonnegotiable, and if he is unaware of the consequences of this deadly disease, please have him research the deaths that have occurred recently. Our community lost a bright young teen who was headed to college this fall. Her family mourns her untimely passing and her family will never be the same again. Yes, she was vaccinated. Do vaccines always protect us? No. But they are the very best option we have of protecting ourselves and our community. Do not ride the coattails of someone else’s vaccinations, get to a doctor and bring your vaccinations up to date. This is the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Hugs to you, cheekymonkey. </p>
<p>And young adults-- trust me, you might be surprised what some parents might think about their kids in their heads, and you know you’ve thought similar things about your parents at least some times. Calling your mom a B is not okay either, and I doubt he really meant that either. Venting. Sometimes people do it in a safe place.</p>
<p>Emerald kitty: I just don’t get the no vaccine thing . We’ve gotten along fairly well since college aps where done and acceptances were in . I don’t check on homework or times in or out . I let him decide for himself but, I just don’t get the disregard for not only his health but his future community’s health. I did try and listen to his concerns but if you could have seen these websites where he was pulling his info from! Of course , everything went downhill from there. And I can only say that no matter how heated our discussions are I never call anyone derogatory names . That’s really why I’m mad now.</p>
<p>Or should I say I would never say a a mean name to my kid during a fight. Venting to you all is different.</p>
<p>Thanks to all. Gotta go to bed. New day , fresh start</p>
<p>All this over a shot! </p>
<p>Its not about the shot. If it weren’t the shot then it would be something else.
Its about him leaving his home, going away to college, and how torn he is feeling abut this huge transition. It will be easier for him to go if he WANTS to go, and he will want to go if he’s made to feel that you cant wait to have him gone! Hence the push back. The “soiling the nest” .
Lots of parents here have been through this and survived with out war breaking out at home cause they were forewarned by other parents.</p>
<p>Jaylynn, I have never thought either of my children were POS, let alone said it.</p>
<p>I don’t think of people that way, certainly not someone I parented.
I have never ripped up their homework to “teach them a lesson” either.</p>
<p>Out of curiosity, how many years of science with labs was he required to take in order to graduate high school? </p>
<p>He sounds like a few college classmates/colleagues who cite half-baked web research and have little/no real understanding of the scientific method and how science research is conducted. It’s painful to see how ill-informed and lacking in critical thinking/analysis they could be when suckered into believing pseudoscientific BS like the bit about vaccines and autism. </p>
<p>One common theme with all of those classmates/colleagues…being allowed to graduate without having to take many/any science courses with labs. One such person attended a mid-Atlantic private boarding school where 2 years of “rocks for jocks” type science courses without lab requirements were enough. :(</p>