My Mom Screwed me over, Can I still qualify for FAFSA?

Paying for College
41

This sounds like you’re going through a very difficult adjustment. If you’re having anxiety and depression issues, you really should see a doctor and get into a therapy program. After some time in therapy, you’ll be able to see things a lot clearer.

When it comes to college, it’s like any other major purchase. You go where your bank account says you can go. That’s just a fact of life. The college doesn’t matter because a real dream supersedes the college you go to anyway. College is just a tool to obtain marketable job skills and find an entry level job. Once you’re past that, the school you went to won’t be anymore useful than a conversation starter at clubs and social gatherings.

42

I would have a chat with your guidance counselor about the schools you hope to get into. Your counselor should have some sort of understanding of whether or not your grades and test scores are comparable to students from you who are accepted there.

To be honest you seem a little naive and uninformed about this whole process. Just being a fast runner does not guarantee you a D1 scholarship. Having grades or test scores that fall in the range of what a certain school typically admits does not guarantee you admission. Once acceptances start coming in and people start reporting their stats you sill see many cases where the statistics of those admitted and denied do not outwardly make sense. There is a lot more that goes into the admission decision that just numbers. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to get a track scholarship or apply to whatever schools you want, I am just saying you should not count on admission anywhere until you have that acceptance letter in hand!

Finally, I’m not sure any school will want recommendations from family members. They want to hear from your teachers about what sort of student you are. There MIGHT be a place on the application to say whether or not a family member went to that particular school, but many simply won’t care. When you’re talking about large in-state schools MANY applicants will have family members who went there. I think legacy status is more important for SOME ivy league type schools. If you take a look at the common data set information for your target schools, you will see what criteria each school considers and how important it is for them.

43

Most colleges/universities look at unweighted, not weighted GPAs. The weighted part comes into play by demonstrating course rigor.

Selective schools will expect around a 3.8+ unweighted with high rigor (weighted above 4.0), solid test scores, great ECs and recs. You might be able to get in with slightly lower grades, but then ECs would have to be exceptional. To get significant merit scholarships you’d have to be “above and beyond” in some area desired by the school as well. Highly selective schools like BU or Northeastern will expect more. People with unweighted 4.0s., 1400+ SATs and great ECs are rejected in droves simply because so many great applicants apply. While legacy is considered, I don’t think that recs from relatives count. It’s my understanding that recs must come from teachers, coaches, employers, etc.

But all is not lost. My advice would be to take a gap year (primarily to work and save money) and/or go to a commutable CC or 4-year that will take you (while starting with a relatively light load while you get used to the academics and get counseling for anxiety) and do your absolute best. Focus on doing well every step of the way. The main thing, don’t take on terrible debt loads that will imprison you! And yes, unless you plan to go for a full two years at CC before transferring, don’t give up your freshman status and possibility of freshman $ aid by taking a handfull of CC classes during a gap year.
If you do the gap year, it can be a good idea to get teacher recommendations before graduating, because that can be hard to do once you’ve been out of school for a year.

You can do this, but it will take academic focus and self-care. Don’t get sidetracked by resentment of your parents… try to keep your eyes on your present tasks and end-goal.

44

“My GPA is 3.4, 3.8 weighted, SATs I got an 1180, then 1320.”

Prepscholar puts your 1320 SAT as a bit above the average for incoming students at U.Mass Amherst. Prepscholar lists the average GPA there as 3.89, and is a bit vague regarding whether this is weighted or unweighted. To me it looks like your chances at U.Mass Amherst are probably pretty good, particularly since you are in-state.

U.Mass Lowell should be a safety.

I think that both are quite good. I would personally choose U.Mass Amherst if I were accepted to both unless a student has some specific reason to do otherwise. At least in my opinion the U.Mass Amherst campus is very attractive, and I know many people who got a very good education there and are doing very well since graduating.

Regarding Irish citizenship, when I looked a few years back it was necessary to show that your parents and grandparents had been married at some point in time (this is in contrast for example with Canadian citizenship which passes to kids regardless of whether the parents happened to have been married). Finding the marriage certificate for grandparents can be one of the hardest parts of the process, and finding a grandparent’s birth certificate can also be tough. The process can take a while. I agree with the comments above that you would need to check whether this would have any impact on prices – it would surprise me a little bit if anything in Ireland ended up a better choice than U.Mass.

45

If you are interested in architecture, take advantage of your instate community colleges and universities to save money because you will probably need a graduate degree.

You can start working now, and during the summer to earn some money for college.

You can borrow $5,500 a year, up to $7,500 a year from freshman year to senior year.

Your SAT score might get you some merit at community college or a U Mass branch campus.

I don’t know if Massachusetts has a state grant program.

File the FAFSA to see what your EFC is.

Ask your mom and stepdad if they can help contribute anything to your education.

Run the net price calculator on the websites of all schools you are interested in.

FAFSA EFC of a family of four with $130,000 income would be $30k I think, schools like Northeastern and BU and the like will expect you to pay close to that since they might take home equity into consideration as well.

46

For colleges that do not require your non-custodial parent’s finances, include the finances of your mother and stepfather.

For colleges that do require your non-custodial parent’s finances (e.g. BC, BU, NEU), include the finances of your mother and stepfather and the finances of your father.

http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/2083835-faq-divorced-parents-financial-aid-and-net-price-calculators.html

47

Regarding architecture, the path to professional licensure commonly involves:

A. BArch degree (5 years).
B. BA/BS in architecture (4 years) + MArch (3 years, sometimes less)
C. BA/BS in anything (4 years) + MArch (3 years)

Plus work experience under a licensed architect. There may also be paths involving greater work experience without a BArch or MArch degree.

BArch and MArch degrees are accredited by NAAB, which has a list of programs.

48

Any “necessity” of going to a CC won’t due to your academic stats; it will be because of financial constraints.

Unless a graduate is or has the potential to be a BIG donor, a recommendation letter will be looked at just like any other recommendation letter. Recommendation letters from family members, even if they are graduates, will be looked at with a huge dose of skepticism (although the big donor factor still applies).

49

UW GPA is the really relevant GPA, not your weighted GPA. IN any competitive school especially. Your UW GPA is 3.4. What rank are you in your school? CC options are not about stats, but about being a good option for you to consider in light of finances, divorce and remarriage, GPA and test scores not putting you in merit territory.

Irish citizenship won’t help you with cost. They love internationals but you need to show them the money. Home rates are based on residency, not citizenship, and frankly getting the citizenship is easy enough, just $$, assuming you are able to get the original paperwork from your granddad. They will have this down to a fine art in the light of Brexit.

50

Plus loans are not co-signed by the parent but a loan TO the parent and not to the student. If the parents want to only co-sign the loan, it has to be a private loan (or in some states a loan from the state).

Track scholarships, as stated above, are sliced and diced pretty thin. There are a few parents on the athletic page here on CC http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/athletic-recruits/ that know a lot more about scholarships and times needed, but only a few students in the country are getting full scholarships at top D1 schools. Look at the size of a D1 track team (20? 30?) and realize that they are all splitting those scholarships, including with the cross country team. The biggest advantage of being a D1 recruit at BC or BU or even UMass is that it gets you into the school.

Not trying to be discouraging but if you were a D1 recruitable athlete, you’d know by now. You would have been ‘seen’ at track meets, your profile would be out there. Long gone are the days when a student sends in times and the coach leaps up in glee that he’s found the next Jim Thorpe. Times are posted where coaches can see them, and that’s how Franklin Pierce found you. That is the level where you are competitive.

Have you considered a Post Grad year at a boarding school? There are scholarships for those, the coaches can help you get noticed and recruited. Is your hs coach not helping at all? Is your hs guidance counselor not helping with applications or at least selecting schools? Can you make an appointment to discuss things?

I think you are wasting your time thinking a letter of rec from a relative is going to get you into BC and on the track team. Even a letter from a priest isn’t going to help much (because there are thousands of kids baptized at BC). You are letting good opportunities get away. There may be D2 schools that will work for you. Merrimack? St. Anselm? At a D2 school you might get a small athletic scholarship and a merit scholarship AND you may be a starter on the team. Be the big fish in a small pond.

I don’t think it will be as hard to find the documentation for your grandfather as others do. How old is your grandfather? 60? 70? Born in the 20th century for sure. For me, I’d have to go back to my great-grandfather (maybe great-great) born near 1850ish and who probably entered the US by swimming in off the coast. (I’m old enough to be your grandmother). Records are better now.

51

I’m sorry. I can’t get past the “My mom screwed me over”. This is selfish, childish and just plain stupid.

Go to a school that you and your current family can afford. Your mom getting married isn’t going to change your stats or your lack of affordability to schools.

52

Can we please remember that WE are adults and that the OP is a child? This has come as a bit of a shock and he is dealing the best he can with what seems like hasn’t been a totally rosy home situation with dad, etc. Anger at his mom whether right or wrong is just what came out. OP, I hope if you did explode at your mom you will apologize to her. Some good advice here, I hope you take some of it.

53

I stated my relationship with my Dad before in another response. I’m just gonna sum up everything in this response for other people as well.

I am a senior with a weighted 3.8 GPA, and a 1320 SAT score. I am a track captain, and four year varsity athlete. I am also a co-founder of a club. I have taken 4 APs. My Mom makes 45k-55k a year, but recently got married. I still know my Dad, and he attended BU, but he does not financially support me. I am planning to take a gap year and apply after high school to bring up my GPA and trends, and have more time to bring up SATs and take ACTs. I also am in a bad position right now, as I was just diagnosed with anxiety, depression, insomnia, ADHD, OCD, and substance abuse. I also have family members that attended BC, BU, Northeastern, and Harvard. I want to major and architecture, and maybe minor in Urban Planning.

I thought a 3.8 GPA was alright, but apparently it is ‘relatively low’. I guess having tremendous SAT or ACT scores aren’t relevant either. On top of that I am going to have to deal with an insane amount of debt. I thought I had okay stats, but not after coming here I feel like I’m absolutely not. I do not have many options. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for kids in my grade with 2.9 range GPAs. I’m aware a track scholarship would be very small, but it is not nearly as hard to achieve as people are making it out to be. I’m afraid that my Mother and Father(who is not financially involved) have serious alcoholism and substance abuse problems, and my Mother has also accumulated a large amount of debt. I guess at this point my only real option is to attend CC and start over. Regardless I’m most likely going to delete this account. Thank you for the advice.

54

@bostonkid617 , you have a good test score and very good grades. Congratulations.

I think there is a disconnect between your stats, your financial situation, and your desire. You might want to attend a “prestigious” school, but those schools require higher stats than yours and are expensive. Also, going to one of those schools does not make anyone a better person – it’s just a reflection of one’s grades/test and family finances – and sometimes luck plays a part. Many fine people attend all types of schools, and some horrible people are enrolled in all types of schools.

The adjustment you need to make is in understanding that you have very fine public college options in MA. There is no shame in attending one of the UMass universities. It will be much more affordable, it will result in at least $100K less debt, and you will have a well-respected degree.

I don’t recommend a gap year for you. You don’t need a year off. You need to take the time to process your situation, process your options, readjust your expectations, and make the right decision on where to attend college.

Good luck with your decision!

55

“I thought a 3.8 GPA was alright, but apparently it is ‘relatively low’.”

It is all relative. 3.8 is way higher than the average for all high school students in the US (which is about 3.0). For Harvard, 3.8 is low. For U.Mass either Boston or Lowell, 3.8 is really, really good. For U.Mass Amherst (which is a very good university) 3.8 is probably fine.

I do think that the odds are that you will want to stay in-state. Either U.Mass Boston, Lowell or U.Mass Amherst might not seem all that exciting for an in-state student, but they are great schools. Of the very strongest co-workers that I have ever worked with, there are probably more from U.Mass Amherst than there are from MIT or Harvard or any other university.

Starting at community college is fine also. This will reduce your debt quite a bit, and might be a good idea for this reason.

If you live within commuting distance of U.Mass Boston, then you might also want to ask admissions there and at U.Mass Amherst about the option of commuting to U.Mass Boston for two years, and then transferring to U.Mass Amherst. Again living at home for two years will reduce your debt quite a bit.

Your financial situation will reduce your options. However, you only need one good option, and I think that you will have at least one good option. You have certainly earned it with your hard work up to now in a tough environment.

56

You have worked hard and done well. Nobody is saying that you’re not a high-achieving and accomplished student. The issue is that you’re aiming for schools among the top 50 in the nation, where most applicants are rejected, and where most applicants are highly qualified just like you. The small advantages you have, like legacy status, probably serve at best to counterbalance the disadvantage of being a local applicant - colleges want a mix of students from all over, so it’s always harder to get into your home-town elites. On top of all that it’s not clear that it’s financially feasible for you to attend an expensive private university.

I’m sorry that there’s been a level of harshness on this thread that makes painful feedback even harder to hear. I don’t know how whether your financial aid prospects would have been favorable even before your mom got married (because unfortunately, just telling schools that your dad doesn’t support you is not enough to exclude his financial info from their calculations), but there certainly can be negative unintended consequences in situations like this. I understand that your frustration doesn’t mean that you begrudge your mom her happiness, but just that you’re upset that she didn’t think through how this would affect you. People here have gotten upset at how you’ve expressed that frustration but I feel like we should cut you a break on this front - you’re dealing with a lot of upsetting adjustments in expectations, all at the same time.

I agree with what others are saying, that you have fine options within the public university system in MA. If UMass Amherst is your goal, you can certainly get there, possibly as a freshman, and certainly as a transfer from either a different UMass campus or a CC. As I said before, if you want to go all-in with a studio-based architectural design program, you could commute to MassArts.

What state does your dad live in? If you want to use your gap year to establish residency in a different state, it would need to be either the state where your dad lives (if it’s different) or one of the rare states that allow students under 24 to establish residency independently. (Utah and possibly Missouri.) I’m not sure whether it’s helpful to discuss moving far from home on your own, since it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot in terms of your mental health right now and need a support system. But if your home life is part of the problem, relocating could be a possibility. The other way to decouple your state of residency from your parents and secure additional funding for college is military service. But it doesn’t exactly sound as if basic training is what you need physically and emotionally right now. At any rate, Massachusetts is a pretty great state to be in, from a higher ed standpoint. You could be in much worse shape in many other states, both in terms of the quality and variety of opportunities available, and in terms of affordability and state-level financial aid.

If you really want to explore the possibility of a private university in the BC genre, I would suggest you take a closer look at Holy Cross in Worcester. They have an architectural studies program https://www.holycross.edu/academics/programs/visual-arts/architectural-studies and their track team is one of the lower-ranked programs in the Patriot League, so perhaps a good target if you’re borderline for D1. And they meet full documented need. So run their NPC and see how it looks. It’s an excellent school and your stats are only a hair below their median. They have EDII, which would double your chances of acceptance (and would be binding only if your financial aid offer met the expectations set by the NPC). You could still defer for a year once accepted, and take your planned gap year.

Hang in there and don’t feel like you have to figure everything out at once. Take the time to work through everything you need to. There will be a path forward.

57
  1. You can delete this account...just FYI.
  2. You need to do a better job researching college option. It’s near the end of November. You have missed deadlines for things like merit aid consideration at some schools...for certain awards. If you were going to be recruited for fall 2020, that would have happened by now...and often athletes are asked to apply early. It sounds like you didn’t.
  3. Your favorite schools....BC, BU and Northeastern are all schools that require the CSS Profile in addition to the FAFSA for need based aid consideration...and all require the non-custodial parent Profile as well. So..your dad’s finances will factor into need based aid at these schools.
  4. Your stats are fine...but these three schools are reaches for you...big ones. My kid got accepted to BU with a 1350 SAT but that was 16 years ago. Plus, he was a musician who also nailed his audition there (as was evidenced by the performance scholarship award he received). Frankly, I don’t think a 1350 SAT is going to guarantee you admission to BU...and I think BC and NEU are tougher admits.
  5. Taking a gap year is a good idea, if you do it for the right reasons. Doing it so you might get a D1 athletic scholarship is not a good reason.
  6. I think you need a more realistic list of colleges. Sure keep these three as reaches...but make sure you have a couple of affordable, sure things for admission on your list. And not necessarily ones where an athletic scholarship is in the mix.
58

OP nobody here is intending to be harsh…we are trying to help you. I think you are venting out of frustration.

While your stats are good (congrats!) they are not high enough to get merit consideration to your desired schools. Furthermore, these schools are academic reaches for you even if you could afford to be full pay. Your dad’s finances will be considered as well…not just your mom’s.

I agree that you need a new list of schools. I would listen carefully to the advice you have been given.

59

Hi OP. I’m sure your cousin had a great story to tell and don’t always believe the numbers. No one can say what your personal results would be in the end. But here are the facts regarding the basic profile of the BC class last year.

Many of the spots in the 25 percent below the middle 50 percent are held for special cases and represent university priorities that may include legacy. But many are for the athletic programs and other students imho along socio-economic lines.

You may check one of those boxes but it is a wildly competitive. category for a spot.

Good luck. I’m a Umass Amherst grad and it is better than just good. Heck it’s one of the top 24 public unis in the country and a top 64 usnwr uni overall. Individual programs are t 20 and t 10. Food and hockey team are best in the USA as well. Best of luck.

Boston College 2023

“Test Type Admitted

SAT (Mid 50%). 1420-1530
ACT (Mid 50%) 33-35

Enrolled 31-34

Boston College has enrolled the most talented and diverse class in its 156-year history, thanks to the 2,297 undergraduates officially registered in the Class of 2023.

Accepted from a total of 35,552 applicants—the highest number in University history—the first-year class comes from 45 states and 41 countries, with a record 36 percent AHANA enrollment. More than seven percent are international students.

They are also the most academically gifted class, with an average SAT score of 1412 and ACT score of 32. On average, their unweighted GPA was an A/A-, and more than 80 percent were in the top 10 percent of their high school class. A total of 303 are Pell Grant recipients (demonstrating high financial need), and 256 are first-generation students. Fifty-three percent are female. “

60

Many of my son’s friends worked hard in high school and commute to the local branch of state university or community college to get their general education requirements out of the way inexpensively in the first two years.

What people are trying to tell you is that while your stats are very good, a school like NEU will only give merit to the top few percent of applicants with almost perfect stats. Most students there depend on need based aid but your family income plus your dad’s income will be too high to give you enough need based aid

If you have to pay $30k to go there, how would that be paid?

The student loans are only about $5,500-$7,500.

More loans are not advisable if you are looking at a graduate degree. And they would have to be taken by the parents, or co-signed by them.

This is a lot to process. Take a deep breath and try to find some instate schools that might be affordable.