In my book, “ruining your life” pretty much means killing someone and spending the rest of your life in jail.
Almost anything else is something you can recover from, including inadequate prep for the SAT.
It sounds like there’s far, far more going on here than SAT prep, as though there are longstanding issues.
For what it’s worth, a state school can be an economical way of getting a degree…is there any reason you’re not considering them? And keep in mind: “Your” college fund is actually your parents’ money.
First thought…your scores are great! Congratulations and good luck! You’re giving us your unweighted GPA (4.0 scale), and I’m guessing from your SAT scores and college aspirations that you have taken many honors and AP classes. You’re probably aware of this, but schools will typical weigh the GPA either quantitatively (weighted score through some formula for honors, AP, IB, etc) or qualitatively through reviewing “course rigor”.
Second thought…the time you would spend reviewing these prep books would be better off spent reading guidance on writing stellar essays for wherever you apply to, working through multiple drafts, and seeking feedback from people with experience reviewing college applications.
Third thought (and this is tough to say)…it sounds like your mother is a manipulative and cruel person. Her behaviors are more inline with someone intent on controlling you than someone genuinely supporting and advocating for you. If you get accepted to Penn with your current SAT/ACT scores, you will have proven her wrong and it doesn’t sound like that’s something she’s willing to risk.
Final thought…do not let your mother narrow down your options. That’s another attempt at manipulation. You have many more that you can consider (some may seem extreme, but your mother is putting you in an extremely bad position). For example, you could consider ROTC or one of the Service Academies if the opportunity for an officer’s commission appeals to you. College would be free then. You could take a gap year if accepted to your top choices and use that time to help reconcile the situation while earning money and engaging in other enriching activities. You could look into options for covering the costs at these schools yourself through private scholarships, work-study, summer jobs, co-op programs, and loans (a reasonable amount of debt is not a bad thing). All of these options would have difficulties for you, but you would emerge from it a stronger person than if you simply capitulated and went to community college.
I pretty much agree with all the above, but did have something to add.
Is your mom being unreasonable? Maybe, certainly she is based on the info you provided. Let’s assume for a moment that she is being completely unreasonable.
Is she in charge? Yes.
Do you have to do what she wants even though you and every rational person in the world thinks she is acting crazy? Yes.
Are you going to encounter a similar situation at your first job or 2? Yes.
Maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but my first 2 bosses at “real” jobs were 2 of the least reasonable people I have ever met. It didn’t change the fact that I had to jump through their hoops until I could find a better situation.
Here, your better situation is getting control of your own finances. That happens at earliest when you graduate and get a real job. And unlike having a boss that is unreasonable, you probably want to maintain relationships with your family, which means playing nice with your mom. She doesn’t have to be right, but you need to play along and do what she asks. If you have $200,000 in a college account (or even $20,000), then that’s a pretty big payoff for spending all your free time over the next month studying.
Not sure if you discussed this, but did you take the ACT with writing? If so, a 34 composite is more than good enough to apply to Penn – or anyplace else! (I would, however, if you have a clear favorite among Penn Duke, Cornell, Swarthmore, or Haverford, if $$ is not an issue with these schools, and if you won’t be full of “What ifs?” I suggest that you apply ED.
Your time and efforts are much better spent writing killer essays. That, together with interesting ECs, and stellar recommendations are truly what will set you apart from the hordes of students with high stats (and, yes, a 34 is considered “high stats”) and make you stand out in the eyes of Adcoms.
You should also apply to some EA matches (and a safety) to get something in hand and take some of the stress off. Tulane has some nice scholarships for EA (but you MUST show interest), and USC(alifornia) has a Dec. 1st deadline for RD with merit consideration. Not sure when Emory’s deadline is, but you should consider them as well. If you can apply to a school that will give automatic merit with a 34, you should go ahead and do it. I’d also look into Grinnell and Kenyon - good LACs that offer merit.
Your mom is being more than a bit hyperbolic. You have not ruined your life, you just have to take ownership of the process and put in your best effort where it counts most, and that is NOT standardized testing.
One of the most frustrating parts of parenting someone through the college application process is that you want the best for your kid and can do absolutely nothing to make it happen.
Gone are the days of being the class mom or PTA president to get your kid the best teacher or a spot on the team. It’s all up to them.
So from your mom’s POV, you have just squandered a summer when you could have been improving your stats. I don’t think you need to with the ACT score, but I think I can see where she is coming from. She is using the control she has, which is the power of the purse strings.
Deep down, maybe she now feels she could have supported or guided you better earlier. I admit that at this point in the journey with my own kid, that was what I was feeling! Sure, it’s water over the dam, but it made me want to "get it right " in the time that was left.
When everyone has cooled off, think about going for a long walk with her or to lunch. Ask her to explain how she is feeling about the process. Don’t argue, just listen. Try to explain how you feel. Do not defend your actions. Think n of it as sharing, not debating. If you do spot ways you can help each other in the coming months, great.
Part of becoming an adult is reworking your relationship with your parents, and it is not just you who needs to adjust. But you will need to signal from both your words and your actions that it’s time.
Underlining what @raclut said (and not enough others have said):
Of course you haven’t “ruined your life,” and of course your ACT score is great and the rest of your scores are fine. Of course you are a good candidate for admission almost anywhere, though Penn and most of the other schools you identified as top choices are significant reaches and will remain significant reaches if you get perfect SATs. None of those things are really issues.
What IS really an issue is that you have reneged on a deal you made with your parents, and you have given them reason to think that you don’t take your education as seriously as they would like. (Might your not-quite-great GPA have something to do with that, too? I bet it does.) If your mother was really talking about your test scores, she would be “unhinged” (as another poster put it). But I don’t think she’s really talking about your test scores. I think she’s talking about your attitude and follow-through, and she’s not unhinged to be concerned about those things. Even if your parents have all the money they need to pay for any college, if you got into Penn – as you well might – and then blew off studying there the way you have blown off practicing for the SAT, it would be a monumental waste of your parents’ money, and a monumental waste of your time and opportunities.
Two weeks of belated practice for a useless SAT test won’t really address that problem. I recommend you sit down with your parents and discuss the real issue in a forthright way.
Your ACT is fine, more than fine. Your subject tests are fine too.
Test scores don’t get you in anyway, they just help put you in a group for consideration. A person with a 760 doesn’t have a better chance than someone with a 730. Your mom doesn’t understand how admissions works.
Your other interests, talents and activities - and you listed some interesting ones- will make more of a difference than raising a score.
By all mean apply to some dream schools, one via EA if you like, but be prepared not to get in just because of the number of applicants. You alrea.dy have a shot. And apply to the U. of NM. But also look into colleges between the two, so to speak. I always suggest the website for Colleges that Change Lives.
Are your parents the kind who think top tier or nothing? Is it cultural? What is their background? Maye your guidance counselor can educate them.
You cannot really suggest counseling to your mom, so next best is to see someone else in order to get help dealing with her.
If I were your parent, I agree with post #45. I think your mom is upset that you didn’t follow through on your agreement and is concerned that this does not bode well for the future when you are further away and likely to listen less and act more as you choose. You and your folks need to sit down and figure out these aspects of your future.
OP, @JHS and @Himom focused on your mom’s true concerns. She wants to see you making good decisions for yourself while you are at home because when you go to college you will be 100% accountable for your actions. In her eyes seeing you studying during the summer for the SAT would have showed your dedication to your future goals. Taking it for a 2nd time is not unreasonable. Time management is an important skill to have in college. Procrastination to complete assignments or prepare for tests in college can lead to less than desirable outcomes.
As posters we don’t have full knowledge of the whole scenario at home to make a judgement on anybody. There are always two versions of the scenario. (parents vs. student)
My biggest concern as a parent was not any particular number my kids scored or grade they obtained but whether they followed through on commitments, especially things that we had agreed upon. It’s really important to show that when YOU make an agreement with mom or anyone, YOU will honor it and not conveniently “forget” or neglect to do what YOU promise. That will matter in life and the sooner you start showing you understand and will do what you promise, the better things will go for you and all who love you.
A 1470 is a really good score, but if you want to appease your mom, you have enough time to get back up to speed. You do not need the books if you go on Khan Academy. You will get into plenty of good schools. Best of Luck.
Why are people saying OP should buckle down and study for two weeks? Or move the test date? I don’t think it’s worth for OP to take the SAT period. They already have a 34. OP should be focusing on crafting as best of an essay as possible and getting excellent recs.
From an outside observer point of view, more standardized test prep is likely of low value (and concentrating on the SAT is of even lower value than concentrating on the ACT since the OP already has a higher ACT than SAT), but it seems like the real problem is the OP’s relationship with his/her mother, with the SAT prep and retake argument being the symptom of a strained relationship (it looks like neither the OP nor his/her mother previously realized that concentrating on the SAT is the lowest value activity that the OP can do to improve college admission prospects).
I will cast my vote in with buckling down and studying hard for the SAT for the next 2 weeks. I say this for two reasons:
Most importantly, you did fail to follow through, and this shows your repentance (admitting fault combined with taking action to repair). That seems to be key at this point
1470 is good, but if you didn’t prepare you can likely do better. Despite the fact that a 1470 is good, a 1570 is better and WILL make a difference for elite schools and merit. It can’t hurt to try, and it sounds like you have the capability for it.
Work hard, good luck, and talk about schools again AFTER preparing and taking the SATs. Nothing to be gained by addressing it with them before then, so let it cool and focus on your next step!
Your mother is being over dramatic and you will be fine wherever you end up. None of my kids studied for the ACT and with a 34 you are in the top scorers in the country. Not sure if you will improve on it even with studying. Congrats on a great score!!