My mom never seems like she has faith in me when it comes to standardized testing, or anything really. She says good job when something good happens, but then later attributes it to it being an easy to attain goal or to me wasting time working on it. She constantly gets upset when I work hard or spend a lot of time on one task and says that my main concern is the SAT, which I will be taking in March. I’m doing what she says, although maybe not devoting as much time as she likes, but it really makes me upset when she says these things because she promotes half-heartedly doing things to get the easiest results. She doesn’t let me do other extracurriculars because she says it takes time away from studying for the SAT, but my extracurriculars don’t seem to be as strong as I need them to be. I want to work hard to get to the colleges I am looking at, but with her incessantly berating me I can’t help but cry, which makes her even more mad. It makes me upset because I feel as though this is a cycle of destruction.
How do I keep her lack of faith in my abilities from bothering me?
I don’t think this is something we can directly help with, but I just want to say that I’m sorry for how she’s treating you. 
If she is interested in the SAT for getting into high caliber schools, I would point out that at the most prestigious levels, having that score only gets your foot in the door. Solid ECs are almost just as important. There are lots of articles online that you could show her, maybe hearing this from an outside source will help persuade her more. There also things you can do discreetly - entering writing competitions, coding, etc. Some stuff that you can do online can net you awards for the honors section or qualify as an EC.
First of all, that sucks and I am sorry you’re being treated that way. Have you ever tried to sit down and just talk to her? What’s her goal in making you study for the SAT? Does she want you to go to like Harvard? If so, she needs to understand that an SAT is not going to get you in. Top schools have plenty of people with perfect scores, but only about 20% get into a school like Brown. Does your dad (if present) know how you feel about the situation? I have parents that are just like me, they’re hard to change when they want something. If they want to win an argument, it’s a battle (I’m interested in politics, so I love to debate over topics). Hope it gets better for you.
Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it! My mom thinks she knows everything because I have an older sister who already went to college, so the novelty of the first kid going to college has kind of worn off. I will definitely remind her of this as senior year approaches. Thanks for the information about online competitions, I’ll definitely look into it!
Thanks so much! I have tried to talk to her, but I tend to cry because I’m emotional and she hates it when I cry. We usually come to some kind of understanding when we sit down and talk, but she does get very argumentative during these “sessions.” I think she has good intentions when it comes to the SAT, in that she wants me to score well. My sister went to a very competitive school and she knows I am similarly motivated so I think she’s trying to emphasize how important the score is, but I already know so her constantly reminding me makes me seem like I can’t do it. My dad tries to help but is at work most of the day. He also has a big temper so he flares up when she yells at me because he doesn’t like to see me cry. Also I wish I was good at debating! I always kind of flake out on my argument. Thanks for the words of wisdom!
Yikes! That sucks! One thing to remember, if you get into an elite private school, chances are, Mom and Dad will be paying for it. You don’t want those kinds of strings attached if you have controlling parents. In college you’re an adult, and you need to be treated that way if you’re going to succeed in college. If I were you, I would take a scholarship and go away for college. That way, you can keep your independence.