<p>You would be surprised at family dynamics (even among married people) where money is concerned. There are some households that follow the golden rule: s/he how has the gold makes the rules.</p>
<p>If could be a position where the mom can only account for her own pay check and not her husband’s.</p>
<p>Let’s get back to being constructive. </p>
<p>sybbie719, got any more ideas for great schools that offer great merit scholarships with mid January or later application deadlines?</p>
<p>Has OP considered applying for the Chase smart start program? </p>
<p>[|</a> J.P. Morgan](<a href=“J.P. Morgan | Official Website”>J.P. Morgan | Official Website)</p>
<p>If OP is comfortable in her own skin, she could get tuition, room, board, fees, and a $500 book voucher at Howard (where she would be a URM)</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.howard.edu/financialaid/grants_scholarships.htm#Freshman[/url]”>http://www.howard.edu/financialaid/grants_scholarships.htm#Freshman</a></p>
<p>She may also have to set her sights a little lower at good schools that are off the grid like Ursinus, Juniata, etc. She can look at some of the CTCL schools</p>
<p>There is a thread on the parent’s forum about a student who got merit $$ at Tulane/Fordham</p>
<p>That’s messed up. If she feels that way, you should try to get independent status. At least you’d be able to get aid then. Amancipation.</p>
<p>Sent from my MB200 using CC App</p>
<p>I’m a 17 year-old and I think it is appropriate for parents to contribute as they can, but I don’t see that as their moral obligation in any way. As stated, it is unwise to criticize the OP’s parents 1.) without knowing the situation and 2.) especially in light of her mother’s comments. She sees it as a financial burden on herself. To argue that it is the parents’ duty to dish out money just because they can for their grown children’s college education (which is a privilege, not a right) is unfair. Instead of pampering and coddling teenagers, we should teach them how to work hard and learn not to be dependent adults. </p>
<p>If the OP gets a scholarship, then she has earned the right to get that much money paid on account of her college education. Even if her dad were Bill Gates, I still don’t see paying for college as his moral obligation. </p>
<p>With that said, I understand how your parents’ decision might be difficult on you. Do some research on various schools so you can make the best decision. Your hard work will pay off.</p>
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<p>If it worked that way, my kids would be filing their “amancipation” papers right now.</p>
<p>From this thread, we are really only seeing one side of the story. Do we really know exactly what the mother has said? </p>
<p>I agree that, while we put aside money to help finance our kids college education, we also let them know that beyond that we cannot afford any more. If they want more than that, they will have to figure out a way to get it financed.</p>
<p>It’s not that easy to be considered independent for financial aid purposes. The expectation is that the parents bear responsibility for funding their children’s education first & foremost, with the government & schools assisting to the extent they can after the parents meet their responsibility. That is how it is set up … </p>
<p>It is true that some parents do not want to help their kids, even when they can. They are not required to do so. But then, government/schools should not be expected to add any more to the package as a result. </p>
<p>I assisted families with financial aid for years, and I did not judge the families who “could” pay but felt they could not do so. At the same time, I could not give their children more money. </p>
<p>There is only so much money to go around, and money does not grow on trees. There are going to be kids who don’t get to go to schools they want to attend, and I know that when you are that kid, it s**ks. There is no way to make things work out for all, unfortunately.</p>
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<p>If so, not only Mr.K’s kids will be filing. but also ever 18 years old in the world will do the same, and a lot of parents will file for divorce prior to college application and get re-merried on the day of last kid graduation day…:)</p>
<p>I’m of mixed mind about this. I strongly agree with ClassicRockerDad to the extend that I believe it is a parent’s obligation to pay for their kids’ college education. But I do not believe that equates to an obligation to pay for the most expensive school a kid gets into that the parent could possibly afford.</p>
<p>That’s because I have yet to see any evidence that correlates cost of attendance with the quality of the education available. Does an Ivy League university provide a better educational experience than a state flagship? I know the opinions of many of the CC crowd, that it does - show me the evidence. </p>
<p>If I were a parent with an income of $200,000, over and above the level that would qualify my kid for need based aid, would I be obligated to fork over $60,000 a year so my kid can you to HYP, when for less than half that the kid could go to Michigan or Wisconsin or Berkeley or Illinois of Minnesota or Texas or Rutgers or UMass? I would say, no. I don’t debate that a Yale credential is in many circles more prestigious than a UMass - but personally, while I’m willing to make significant financial sacrifices to provide my kid with the opportunity to get a quality education that will prepare them for a life as a productive and responsible citizen, I’m not willing to pay a lot of money for a credential that arguably will only be an advantage in getting the first job out of college.</p>
<p>Or, don’t like publics? I would also say that I would not be willing to go into debt to send a kid to Penn or Brown full-pay if the same kid got into Rochester or Case Western with a big merit award.</p>
<p>A second point is that, for me, it depends on the kid. If a kid has really applied himself or herself academically in high school, I would be a lot more willing to stretch myself financially to fund a more expensive college than I would for a kid who slid through high school. As it happens, I have one of each - DD12 has busted her tail at an extremely challenging high school, and I’m willing to do without things to help her go away to college, because she has earned that right. DS14, OTOH, is a bright slacker, and unless he turns it around soon, there’s a community college (or commuting distance non-flagship state U) in his future.</p>
<p>You should be applying to those great city schools as mentioned- Hunter, Queens College, Baruch. Likely get merit at St. Johns too. Don’t think negatively of the SUNY’s. Merit at the SUNY colleges and apply to UB and BU as well. You can do very well at these schools and they will not hold you back from any career. There are very, very smart kids at all these schools. </p>
<p>Agreed with earlier poster. $134K is not a high family income in NY. </p>
<p>Apply to the above schools, and any other with great merit (is it Alabama where you’d get full ride with these stats?).</p>
<p>SUNY’s tuition is about $8K/year plus room and board. </p>
<p>See where you get in. Make a spread sheet; Acceptances, Tuition Room Board Fees/yr, merit award. See what each costs. Then discuss with your parents a reasonable amount they may be able to pay. We agreed to pay for kids education. Son1- valedictorian, high ACT, 13 AP’s lots of EC’s and leadership, chose to attend a safety (with full merit aid), Son2 accepted to 15/15 schools he applied to. He chose a SUNY U and is doing incredibly well there. Has had great research opportunities as an undergrad and had a great internship last summer and has one already set up for this summer. A SUNY has not held him back at all. My kids are realistic about $. Son2 is now in grad school (merit $ there too) with a tuition we can afford. Kids will end up with no debt and I expect both to succeed regardless of the name of the school on the diploma.</p>
<p>Years ago I started at a SUNY- loans for everything, then transferred to MSU (high Roman!!) to finish undergrad and grad school as OOS student. Loved the school, but when I look back, I should have transferred to Geneseo or Buffalo for my major and UB for grad school. Didn’t have CC guidance in those days!</p>
<p>Think positively and realistically. You can be happy and do well just about anywhere. Many, many kids are in the same position as you are. (FYI- son1 went to a very good private school on full merit award. His BFF went to Georgetown (no merit) and he told my son the cost was not worth it. Guess he figured out he could have applied to sons school and gotten good merit award as well (3/4 to full tuition) and gotten a good education there as well. … Georgetown grad (smart, outgoing, etc…) does not have a job offer yet. Good thing he does not have loans. Keep this in mind. Keep costs down!!!</p>
<p>Good luck to you. You’ll do fine in the end.</p>
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<p>Yes, it’s only twice the average for the SMSA. </p>
<p>Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using CC App</p>
<p>134k is not high for a 2 parent family with dependent children living a normal middle class lifestyle in NYC (normal sized home, 2-3 modest cars, safe area, good schools, etc). </p>
<p>Sure, there are people living on less income, but their situations may not easily compare…they might be low-income parents getting assistance (free lunch for kids, housing Section 8, food stamps, etc), modest income folks living in cheap rentals, singles with just themselves to support, retirees living on a fixed income in paid-off homes, multiple families sharing one roof (this is a problem in NYC), people who don’t care about the quality of the local schools, etc. </p>
<p>You just can’t do comparisons. Retirees can live in cheaper housing without concern of local school quality. Families with good incomes typically care about the local schools and living in areas where those can be found is often more expensive. </p>
<p>NYC has very high taxes, even car insurance rates are high. Modest homes in safet areas with good schools are pricey with high property taxes to match. Many have to dedicate $1k per month or more just for property taxes for regular homes.</p>
<p>First off, I think the main problem with the parents is not that they are not paying the entire tuition, but rather that they are not, from the info we know, contributing a single dollar. Yes, scholarships and loans exist. Yes, college students should be independent. However, regardless of financial situation, parents and college-bound students need to work together - Just saying “I’m not helping” means nobody wins. The parents could at least help look for scholarships or job opportunities for their kids if they are in financial trouble.</p>
<p>Now, for actual school advice:
<p>Good luck! I’m applying to college right now as well. If you want any more suggestions for schools or have questions feel free to message me</p>
<p>Yes, it is not the fact the parents are not footing the entire cost, it is they aren"t contributing a nickel…i tell all family members who are staring families to set aside something, anything for their newborns for college…contribute monthly, increase the amount when you can…you may not have 4 years of a private school seta aside,but you will have something…</p>
<p>Univ of MD is out of the question now. You have to apply by Nov 1 to be considered for any scholarships.</p>
<p>I guess the bigger question is at what point was this information known. It would be one thing if this child knew beginning high school they’d be on their own to pay for college, another if they just found this out this week, days before deadlines and past the dates at many schools for financial awards.</p>
<p>I’d think that a realistic option would be cc for two years, give yourself time to save money, and do well, and transfer after that. If your parents truly can’t afford and don’t want to contribute anything to the op’s education, I wouldn’t recommend huge loans for the first two years.</p>
<p>BTW… it’s a crying shame, and I feel like kids put in this position have really been screwed. But I know many families where they just didn’t plan or prioritize education for their children and are surprised come senior year how much school actually costs.</p>
<p>I agree that the problem is that the mom says she won’t pay anything…not one dollar.</p>
<p>* U Wisconsin-Madison; UMaryland-college park: great schools, both around $25k tuition/yr. not cheap but better than private and equally good academics. Issues - jan 1st deadline, neither on common app
*</p>
<p>You can’t just look at OOS tuition. The student isn’t going to be pitching a tent and grazing off the lawn. The OOS cost to attend either of those schools is much, much higher.</p>
<p>UW-M</p>
<p>Out-of-state tuition and fees: $25,415
Room and board:… $7,780<br>
Books and supplies: …$1,140<br>
Estimated personal expenses: $3,180
Transportation expense:… $770 </p>
<p>That said, even borrowing $25k per year would be too much, much less $35k per year or more.</p>
<p>This student needs at least a full tuition scholarship. </p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships-7.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships-7.html</a></p>
<p>Miss State would likely give full tuition and possibly more. Their “priority scholarshp” deadline is not set in stone (this I know for a fact). They would still very likely award a lot. </p>
<p>UArizona and Arizona St have scholarshp calculators, try them.</p>
<p>I’d think that a realistic option would be cc for two years, give yourself time to save money, and do well, and transfer after that.</p>
<p>I don’t think that’s a good option since transfers often get lousy merit. she’d still likely end up at a nearby CUNY, so she might as well start at one.</p>
<p>If the student can’t find a large scholarshp at this point, then she should do a gap year (no CC no classes anywhere) and reapply next fall before scholarship deadlines pass. During the year, do something meaningful.</p>
<p>*Apply to the above schools, and any other with great merit (is it Alabama where you’d get full ride with these stats?).
*</p>
<p>If she had applied before Dec 1st, she would have gotten free tuition…not a free ride. </p>
<p>However, if she’s a NMSF/NMF, then Bama would give her a HUGE scholarship…tuition, housing, etc. She wouldnt’ be too late for that.</p>
<p>As it happens, I have one of each - DD12 has busted her tail at an extremely challenging high school, and I’m willing to do without things to help her go away to college, because she has earned that right.</p>
<p>Your age 12 DD is in high school?</p>
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<p>The way that I am reading this is that it is not so much that mom is not going to pay anything, she is just not paying for a school with an EFC of 25k-40k and has told the daughter that if she wants this, that she has to find a way to pay for it.</p>
<p>In the second part, OP does not state that mom said that she won’t pay for CUNY, only that she should attend CUNY and live at home. Even if Op had t do this as an option, it is one that she can accomplish with minimal help from her mother. </p>
<p>To me it sounds that the child feels that she “deserves better than” CUNY because of all of her hard work.</p>
<p>If OP is looking to go to law school, then she definitely needs to graduate with the least amount of debt possible because law school is going to be pretty much all loans. Also when it comes to law school, it is all about GPA/LSAT school. I know a number of kids who are attending T-14 law schools after completing CUNY undergrad.</p>
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<p>And the average income also factors in families living in McMansions in Scarsdale and Bergen County etc. To say that an income more than twice the average is “not a high income” is patently ridiculous.</p>
<p>Annasdad, you need to check out a salary calculator…</p>
<p>134k in Ridgewood NJ Bergen County is the equivalent of 60,100 in Cedar Rapids Iowa…</p>