<p>“Count me in with the ranks of parents who did a lot of the initial work, investigation and suggesting for their ambivalent, capable sons.”
add me to the list! DS was a young Jr, and had no real interest[ or time] to search for colleges. So I did the leg work and narrowed it down for him. Dragging him on college tours his Jr year was no picnic. But by the time Sr year started, when ALL of his friends were talking about where they were applying- that’s when he became engaged.</p>
<p>One of these days I am going to catch the typos before its too late to correct them, LOL. Hope the post is still decipherable. </p>
<p>It <em>should</em> say:
Agree with those who recommended the Yale Insider’s guide to colleges. Really helped my kids get a “feel” for those schoools, and which they could see themselves at. Helped to drive the plan of which schools to visit.</p>
<p>I also agree that looking at a big U, small LAC, urban, rural, etc is a good idea, but you are starting to run a little short of time to look at schools that arent really contenders. You could take a quick tour of schools like U of Central FL, Nova, Eckerd, for a quick feel.</p>
<p>doame–your story brings back memories of when I was a teenager. Not looking at colleges, but expressing an opinion on anything…new clothes, for instance. I was so unsure of myself, and my mother was so opinionated (and probably annoyed with me for not expressing an opinion) I was really afraid to say anything. Not sure what I wanted and unwilling to get pinned down to any one thing, and not wanting to express an opinion that might be “wrong.” Because it sometimes WAS “wrong.” Sigh.</p>
<p>It is really difficult sometimes to get information out of these kids. They either don’t know what they want, or don’t want to share it with YOU. </p>
<p>Once I actually wrote up a survey with multiple choice questions for my taciturn son. It was humorous but I did get some information that way!</p>
<p>I had no idea that I had so much company!</p>
<p>Another parent who did all of the initial legwork in drawing up a list of schools for my son to check out, and planned the summer visits for the east coast schools (he did absolutely refuse to visit one school on the list). The visits helped him clarify what he wanted, and he eliminated 2 schools based on what he saw.</p>
<p>Later in the fall of senior year, he visited two more schools on the west coast that he had already applied to. Had he visited first, he would have eliminated one of them.</p>
<p>He didn’t come up with any schools on his own–I can only assume that he was happy with where he applied (6 schools) and didn’t see the need to come up with any others.</p>
<p>mommusic - “They either don’t know what they want, or don’t want to share it with YOU”. </p>
<p>I think you just hit the nail on the head with that one, and described my S2 perfectly! Sometimes I think they want you to be a mind reader. That somewhere deep inside they do know what they want, or more likely don’t want, but just can’t put it into words. They almost want mom to verbalize it for them.</p>
<p>Basically what we went thru second semester this year with S2 deciding to transfer to a local university and commute this coming fall. I still don’t have “reasons” - I look at what you said mommusic, and it can be option one (he doesn’t know) or option two (he doesn’t want US to know) but either way, I am still basically in the dark!!</p>
<p>And then we can start a whole new spin-off of this thread changing college search to job search for less than motivated new grads! :(</p>
<p>"I think you’ll find that a lot of us parents-of-boys did most/all of the research in the planning phase.’</p>
<p>Bingo. Do your best to figure out what is most important to him. Figure out what schools you think would be best for him and your pocketbook. With those stats he could get some merit aid. Show him the list, take him on some tours, and bingo you got it. Ignore people that think he should be researching this on his own. He probably won’t, so just help him out as much as you can and everything will be fine. If he tours several schools, he’ll probably figure out which ones he’s interested in.</p>
<p>I think it’s still early in the process, and that your son is doing some normal foot-dragging on this. You probably don’t have much cause for concern. However, here’s what I think you might want to do:</p>
<p>Sit down with your son and make a list of options for life after high school. Include on that list (1) college; (2) full-time CC; (3) part-time CC and part/full-time job; (4) full-time job; and (5) military. He will probably immediately say no to one or more of these. I think knowing that you expect him to do one of those things (not just take another year trying to make a decision) may help to focus him a little more on college.</p>
<p>If college isn’t his choice, then you need to come up with a plan, with the understanding that after a year of working and/or CC, he will reevaluate. (Obviously, the military isn’t flexible.)</p>
<p>Let’s assume, though, that college is his choice. If so, tell him first what you can afford. Talk to him about what he might want to study, with the understanding that it doesn’t have to be set in stone. Talk to him about rural vs. urban, large vs. small, religiously-affiliated vs. secular, close by vs. far away, etc. Get his feedback and any suggestions. Then, do some research on the Internet (fairly easy and, at least to me, quite interesting) and come up with a list of up to five schools to visit based on his interests. Make sure that you visit at least a couple of schools that you know he could get in. After each visit, debrief. Let him know IMMEDIATELY if you have learned something that day that would preclude that school financially. Ask him what he liked and didn’t like. Ask him if he could see himself at the college. Give your comments if he asks or seems to want them. Taking friends or siblings along may help, because they usually talk about the school together and you can listen in.</p>
<p>Next, he should eliminate any schools he is not interested in, then apply to the rest – as long as he applies to at least one safety school. You can make this choice if he won’t. If he is accepted to more than one school, maybe he will have a clear favorite by that point and be ready to choose. If he still stalls, but insists that college is his choice, then tell him (gently) that you will choose where he goes if he doesn’t, and give him a deadline for making a decision. He may be fine with that. I’ve known students who actually wanted their parents to choose. By this time, though, he may be getting excited about college.</p>
<p>I would probably make the decision deadline well before May 1. I’ve known parents who agonized as their children waited until literally the last hours before making a decision. In addition, choices such as housing and orientation dates may be more limited by then.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Marsian–EARLY–he is a senior (or will be soon). Most kids have done their visits (or at least a fair number of them), have a working list and are starting to work on application essays, etc. over the summer. It’s not early, it’s actually kind of late in the process to not have any ideas of where he wants to apply.</p>
<p>Yet another parent who did the initial planning. My older son was relatively easy - computer nerd. I took him to four good (and very different schools). He said they were all fine, no more visits. He ended up applying to eight colleges - got into four, none of which he had visited. He visited the rest during accepted students events, picked one and graduated last year and is gainfully employed. (I didn’t help a bit with that BTW - they do grow up!)</p>
<p>Younger son was more like the OP. Good, but not perfect scores or grades. Wide interests. He did say he didn’t think he wanted a small college or one in the country. (I took him to see one anyway, because it otherwise was a very good fit and it was easy to visit.) It confirmed his thoughts, but even visiting a college you don’t like gives you something to bounce thoughts off of. Through the process of looking at colleges he identified a likely major and made the final choices based with that major in mind, though he also looked for places that were strong overall in case that major didn’t work out.</p>
<p>One thing I highly recommend is visiting potential safeties early. My son really, really liked a college that was a great safety. They ended up offering him a merit scholarship as well.</p>
<p>SteveMA – For my personal comfort level, this would indeed be late in the process. We’ve done all our visits during junior year. However, I know a number of students who went into their senior years having no idea where they were going to apply and everything turned out okay. One of them reluctantly, pushed by her parents, visited schools in late fall, applied as late as possible to twenty(!) schools, and didn’t decide until May 1 – and is now very happy at her “top tier” school. Stressful? Absolutely! I wouldn’t have let it go on that long. However, as long as the OP and parents start NOW with a plan, and hit the ground running, there is no reason to panic. The parents are probably already worried enough, and there is no need to increase their anxiety by telling them that they are doing things “too late”. I was just trying to suggest a plan for them to get things going now. In any case, I do think it’s too early to panic – as long as they have a clear plan in place.</p>
<p>Another alternative is that the parents could just pick a few colleges THEY like, including a safety, and make him start applications as soon as they’re online. :)</p>
<p>It’s not too late. We were still visiting schools Labor Day weekend with my younger son. And a truly disinterested kid can always take a gap year. And while my kids didn’t start essays at all during the summer, they did look at the Common Application essay topics, and had ideas percolating though nothing was down on paper, my kids were also largely finished with testing (younger son decided to take SAT one more time in the fall). Fall was busy, but not impossible.</p>
<p>Another one chiming in that the timing of the whole process varies by kid/family. Took DS#1 to a few schools his junior year but those visits were pretty much a waste of time. Didn’t do any visits with DS#2 until a few days before his senior year started. Will do the same with DS#3. Hooray for the families who get going on this early, but really the only firm deadlines are the RD application deadlines and May 1st. Anything earlier than that is kinda icing on the cake.</p>
<p>Okay, I feel better now. I just thought that my son should be more interested in choosing his own university. Good to know it’s not just him. Thanks for the information on the Fiske guide…I’ve never heard of it. We can afford private school for him if the school offers some assistance, but some do and some don’t. NYU states that they believe a child’s education should be the financial responsibility of the parent and the student. That stopped me at their $54,000. Thank you everyone for your help. I’ll keep reading your suggestions as long as you keep them coming.</p>
<p>Oh, and…we are doing the Florida tour in 3 weeks. Going to FSU, UF, UCF and USF.</p>
<p>I didn’t think he would be eligible for merit aid with his stats.</p>
<p>U of n fl is growing In popularity. That is in Jacksonville, near the beaches. It is smaller than the other schools on your list, less selective than UF or USU, so may offer some merit. Once again, Rollins has been very generous with aid.</p>
<p>Will you also look at smaller LAC’s in Florida? Another poster mentioned Rollins, I would like to add Eckerd.</p>
<p>There are a bunch of private schools that will offer your son some merit aid and be much cheaper than NYU.</p>
<p>Some southern LACs to look at all with probable merit for your son…</p>
<p>Centre College…full price is only $43,000 but almost everyone gets some merit. Run their NPC.
Hendrix College
Rhodes College
Southwestern University
Austin College
Trinity University
Loyolo NOLA</p>
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<p>3.7 GPA and 30 ACT will definitely get merit aid at some schools, for example full tuition at LSU or Alabama-Birnmingham. See here:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html</a></p>
<p>And here:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships.html</a></p>
<p>In state, for example, those stats would qualify him for a Presidential scholarship (roughly 3/4 tuition) at FAU:
[FAU</a> - Freshman Scholarships](<a href=“http://www.fau.edu/admissions/scholarships-fr.php]FAU”>http://www.fau.edu/admissions/scholarships-fr.php)</p>
<p>These are just examples - if you qualify for an automatic merit award at one school, you will have a shot at competitive awards at other schools.</p>
<p>The Insiders Guide is similar in content to the Fiske Guide, but is organized by state. That could be helpful if your son has geographic limitations. It would also show you at a glance most of the schools in FL, including many you probably haven’t heard of. Your son’s hs guidance office may have copies of several types of guides for you to look at. Your public library will probably have some too, that you can check out and see what format is most useful for you. Once you’ve found a guide you like, I’d suggest buying it because then you and he can take your time with it, take it on campus trips, etc. The Fiske guide turned out to be our favorite. They do a great job of describing the student bodies of each school often in the students’ own words.</p>