@mistertripster I missed if you said - is there not an NPC availble online for the school?
Those loan amounts Thumper1 posted are just the loans students can take. The school doesn’t care what those numbers are. The school decides what the (collective) family should contribute. If the school says your kid is full pay then your kid can take those capped student loans, but the rest is assumed to come from the parents.
Does your ex have a specified amount to contribute toward college costs just like you do? What will happen if the bill greatly exceeds what you are bound to pay? Can you personally afford to pay the full sticker price for this school, minus the student loan and whatever ex is committed to pay?
I worry for you that your student and/or ex know that this school is going to be incredibly expensive, and are hoping to “force” you into paying for it by springing it on you when its basically too late to choose any other schools.
@mistertripster I missed if you said - is there not an NPC availble online for the school?
Those loan amounts Thumper1 posted are just the loans students can take. The school doesn’t care what those numbers are. The school decides what the (collective) family should contribute. If the school says your kid is full pay then your kid can take those capped student loans, but the rest is assumed to come from the parents.
Does your ex have a specified amount to contribute toward college costs just like you do? What will happen if the bill greatly exceeds what you are bound to pay? Can you personally afford to pay the full sticker price for this school, minus the student loan and whatever ex is committed to pay?
I worry for you that your student and/or ex know that this school is going to be incredibly expensive, and are hoping to “force” you into paying for it by springing it on you when its basically too late to choose any other schools.
@flatKansas in the vast majority of cases, the net price calculators are not accurate for divorced, and remarried parents. The exception would be IF the NPC specifically asks separately about incomes for divorced and remarried parents. Most NPCs do not ask these questions.
This is especially true of Profile schools and most especially for those that use everyone’s income students inntheir calculations.
You make an excellent point…so what happens if the amount this non-custodial parent needs to contribute exceeds what his divorce decree says? Will he pay more? Will the other parent?
Yes there is an NPC for the school but I’ve read that it’s not as accurate a calculation when parents are divorced. I’ve manipulated the calculator using different variables because it isn’t cut and dry plus I realize it’s just a tool and an estimate.
And I’m sure that the x is trying to “force” me because an attempt was just made to hustle me out of the deposit which I presume is non-refundablle. .
I mentioned that I’ve been asking for this informtion for over 6 months and the response was that the school “just” sent it, which may or may not be true but I don’t believe much of what this one tells me. I suggested my x make a call to the school tomorrow as I not making a deposit without knowing the financials.
This is par for the course—silence and secrecy until the checkbook is needed.
College bills come due in the fall (Aug/Sept) and winter (Dec/Jan). If I were in your position, I’d tell my son that I’d be happy to send the college a check for 1/2 the yearly amount agreed upon in the court order (for the fall semester) as soon as the school provided me with a copy of the bill (the financial aid package). And that I’d be happy to continue to send the school 1/2 the yearly amount every semester they sent me a current bill. I would never write a check to anyone without seeing a bill, and I think if you do that it’s a bad example for your son. He may have to sign a paper for the college that allows you access to his billing information, but it’s possible to arrange. If he takes care of it tomorrow, the enrollment fee could be paid by credit card on Tuesday.
If your son thinks he might miss the registration deadline, he can call and ask for an extension. If he and your ex refuse to allow the school to give you a bill, your son can ask the school if he can defer for a year, he can take a gap year and apply to schools that may be more affordable, or start at a cc. But I wouldn’t let him start college by being evasive and failing to communicate the most basic information about his search unless that’s how you want to spend the next 4 years.
I’d also suggest that he ask the school what happens to his financial aid package if there are changes in the number of dependents while he’s in college. Make sure he knows how much you can pay, and if you won’t be able to contribute more if the aid is reduced make sure he knows that too. He needs to understand costs could go up and he should be aware of how much he can expect from you.
Poor planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on yours.
May be worth a chat with your lawyer in the morning. If the school is unaffordable for you, you obviously aren’t obligated to pay it all, but you may be required to hand over the amount you are required to pay even if the school is unaffordable. But then what?
@MisterTripster – if your ex really was trying to get a NCP waiver, then they would have filled out the form and submitted – the last thing to do would have been to ask you to send it. The whole point of the NCP waiver is that it is used when there is no contact with the NCP parent, or long-standing problems like a restraining order & history of unpaid child support (which does have to be documented). So the last person on earth that the ex would want filling out the waiver would be the NCP.
So either (1) your ex is confused or ignorant about the process, or (2) it was a mistake and the ex linked the wrong form. It is simply not possible that the ex would have sent you that form or link of the ex had any understanding of how to go about obtaining the waiver. It just wouldn’t make any sense.
I think the most probable thing is that your child has been admitted and wants to attend school that did not provide financial aid because of incomplete information. Perhaps the ex got an email from the school saying they needed either NCP data or the waiver, and she misunderstood and sent you the waiver link without looking at the form. If the ex waited until now to get th stuff submitted, it would suggeset a person who is lacking somewhat in organizational skills. That doesn’t necessarily imply malicious intent … nor does it mean that the kid will be going off the the school with the aid problems. It is also possible that the student was initially waitlisted but now has been offered a spot, and that is why there would be a scramble for info. (It does happen that kids start getting waitlist calls in late April, before the May 1 deadline).
Your child would not take on debt until after enrolling; the total amount available to an undergrad is limited to $5500 for the first year of college. As an NCP you are not legally obligated to pay anything at all except what is required by your divorce decree or state law. Most states don’t require divorced parents to pay for support or expenses of college-age children, but if your state does – then the amounts you would be required to pay would be covered by laws or regulations as well. Here’s a link to get you started: https://family.findlaw.com/child-support/college-expenses-and-child-support-faq.html
The deposit might not necessarily be for the same school as the NCP forms. If, as I suggested above, your son has just received a call from a waitlist – it could be that either he wanted deposit money for School A before hearing about the waitlist spot at School B; or that he wants deposit money to hold a spot at School A while waiting to hear about financial aid at School B. (The timing of the two requests would tell you the answer)
Students are not supposed to double-deposit, but coming off of waitlists is an exception to that rule. Under the possible scenario that I describe above, then it might actually be a smart thing to deposit by May 1 at School A if still waiting on a financial award from School B.
In any case, you can simply tell your son that you will make the deposit directly for him online and ask him for the link to the college web site and whatever info would be needed to make the payment (such as account or student ID number). You would know when you got to the website which college it is.
It is possible that the custodial parent didn’t understand that the NCP CSS form was needed. People do get confused – the NCP CSS process generates a fair number of posts here on CC with people questioning the logistics of sending the links, etc. Or it is possible that they applied for a waiver, and just found out that it was not granted at one or more schools (it has to be applied for at each school). I know you feel no desire to give your ex the benefit of the doubt. But it is possible that someone (kid, parent) missed an email or misunderstood the process.
Not understanding the CSS is no reason for the son to withhold the names of the colleges he hoped to attend. If all I’d heard about the process for the last 6 months was “I don’t know” and “I’ll get back to you” and nobody ever found out anything or relayed the information they did find out, I’d be frustrated too.
If this student needs this parent to pay the deposit, then this is the time to insist that all cards be on the table before paying any money.
Since the ex is acting so strangely, I would be extremely concerned that the ex might try to use a Plus loan to cover any shortages, but use this parent’s SS number, etc, to secure it. There was another post a few years ago, where something like that happened.
I don’t think the college will necessarily reveal much.
I think you have to firmly separate your aggravation from the financial responsibilities. There’s a lot of the former coming through and for many reasons, the child needs to be spared this. It doesn’t build good relationships. He’s a child and no matter the X’s present influence, you want an improving relationship as he matures. And there’s only so much we can help you with venting.
Financially, if there’s a figure in the decree, presumably that was vetted in that state, before the court signed off. Let’s say it’s 10k. If the college leaves the family with an annual bill for 40k, you are not obliged to pay 20k, just cuz that’s half. Yes, some states can require your 50%. But that’s not an open-ended whatever. It’s usually held to reasonable publuc U costs in that state. And as said, your courts approved your number.
As for Parent Plus loan fraud, there’s a lot written, Google for it.
"…if your child submits [a Plus application, in your name] without your knowledge, it means they stole your identity to obtain a student loan. Done online, your child would need your FSA account login information and potentially your Social Security number. Done on paper, your child would need your Social Security number and to forge your signature.
Using your personal login information or Social Security number or forging your signature are all considered identity theft." Etc.
Sounds like maybe OP needs his/her own FSA id, to prevent anyone falsely creating one in his/ her name. ?
To user Looking forward, you totally get me. To the others offering parental advice, thank you for your concern. I realize that my child is is still a minor and has been living with a hustler for 10 years who taught that hiding and lying is okay. Please understand that my benevolence that is ”coming out, or showing through” on this forum, is because it’s a forum. I would and have NEVER displayed it in front of or used it against my child. At some point though, the children find out all on their own, Ive seen that happen too.
I think you might want to sit down and jot down your goals and objectives for this kid before doing anything.
If the end-game is to support his higher educational aspirations with an eye towards economic independence, that’s a goal.
If the end-game is to foster intellectual inquiry and help him develop his artistic or scientific skills, that’s a goal.
If the end-game is to follow the letter of the law in terms of your support- as specified in your divorce agreement, that’s a goal.
If the end-game is to ensure parity among all the children- bio and step- in terms of financial support, that’s a goal.
If the end-game is to use the college years as a way to rebuild your relationship as your kid becomes more independent and less influenced by your ex wife, that’s a goal.
I’m detecting that you are looking for a bunch of things simultaneously- to be treated both as bio dad and active participant in your kids lives; to ensure parity among all the kids; to help each kid become educated and independent; to somehow punish your ex-wife; to get to have veto power on the kind of/type of education; NOT to have to pay for something you didn’t get to choose or approve, etc.
And I’m here to tell you that you aren’t going to be able to achieve everything simultaneously. So figure out your end game before proceeding.
You don’t get to post on a public board and then complain when you don’t like what you read. You’ve posted nothing factual which suggests a scam. So I’m going to assume that your kid is behaving honorably in the absence of evidence to the contrary.
Post a fact that is evidence that your kid is trying to scam you- and you’ll get plenty of suggestions on how to handle that. But right now all you have is suspicions about your ex (which I’m sure are totally fact based) and some allegations about your kid (with no evidence). Your kid doesn’t completely understand how financial aid works with divorced parents? Join the club. Millions of folks in America who don’t understand it either.