<p>I would be wondering- since the son is expressing reluctance, but the parents still want him to attend/play, how much direction was given him to originally sign the letter of intent, or if the decision was really left up to him.</p>
<p>People do have second thoughts of course- especially when they are young and over enthusiastic and but I know most parents don’t want their kids to feel like they are being forced to do something , one way or another.</p>
<p>^I agree with you emeraldkity4. The son has expressed a reluctance to follow through with the initial plan, but what exactly are his reasons? Is he burnt out with the sport? Is he concerned that he will not be able to succeed academically if he is involved with the sport more than 30 hours/week? Does he want to attend a different college? Most importantly, did he pressure from his high school coach and parents to accept the athletic scholarship? </p>
<p>I think the parents should calmly talk with their son. They need to reassure him that they’re proud of him with whatever decision he makes, but insist that he commit to a plan one way or other ASAP. Take the pressure off and give him the opportunity to express his concerns and fears without him worrying about disappointing you. </p>
<p>Remember that the last thing a kid wants is to disappoint his/her parents and sometimes they find themselves in a situation where they do what’s right for the parents, but not what’s right for them.</p>
<p>I don’t think I made it clear in my original post - that’s exactly how my husband and I feel about it - he took the coaches’ time, took an opportunity away from another student who could have had that chance, took our time and resources pursuing what he insisted was his dream, etc…
He did sign the letter of intent and that was his promise - unless compelling personal reasons occur, we do feel he needs to honor his word. There are no compelling personal reasons why he can’t go - he just thinks he might not want to do it now.
Maybe we need to appeal to his sense of honor more -
We only want him to live up to his committment - if he truly can’t stand it after giving it a fair shot - at least he did what he promised</p>
<p>^So the advice you are looking for is something along the lines of: “Here’s how to force your son to go along with this plan.”</p>
<p>Sorry, can’t give that advice. The coaches on the board will probably agree with you. I’m a full professor at a liberal arts college, and I just don’t agree with it.</p>
<p>As you will see on the NCAA website regarding the Letter of Intent, every student has the right to ask the institution to release him/her from the intent to enroll. The only reason a school would say “no,” is if the student wants to play elsewhere. When a student comes to a decision to give up a sport, that is a valid reason for release.</p>
<p>Look, I’m sorry, but I think you need to sit down and ask yourself whether this is really your son’s dream that’s now at risk, or whether it is your dream. You need to give him some space to decide. Don’t threaten him with claims about how he’s “breaking a promise” or “losing integrity.” </p>
<p>This is just my two cents.</p>
<p>The OP isn’t getting what many of us are saying–“selective hearing” at its best.</p>
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<p>Doubts are normal and, in fact, desirable as they keep us on our toes. If we waited until we had no doubts to do things, very little would get done. </p>
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<p>You would not be here if your ideas were working. Give him a break. Assure him that doubts and second thoughts are normal, that there is no need to be 100% sure and you’re sorry that you confused him by insisting otherwise. </p>
<p>It’s your son who has to show up and do the work. If he’s not willing to do it, then it’s better for the coach to know that now instead of a week into the school year. But give him some guilt-free space to think and then set a date for a decision with your assurances that no matter his decision, you’ll be there for him.</p>