Need Feedback on my Common App essay!

I know I made a previous post about reading my common app essay but I have scrapped all those ideas and have written a completely new one

I need someone to read my common app essay that needs to be submitted before November 1st. If anyone from a prestigious university or a parent of a student from a prestigious university could give me some help, that’d be great. I need some hardcore constructive criticism because im applying to a couple prestigious schools and I need to make this essay as best as can be. Thanks!

Bump

bump

bump, again… I really need feedback!

I’ll take a look for you, private message it to me