Need Help Making an URGENT Decision

Parents Forum
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<p>Vtoodler, I would go ahead and go to Wyoming. I don't think, in general, safety is an issue at all. </p>

<p>Now as a former Chicago-area kid (Evanston), Wyoming will probably present some cultural bumps but I think, agreeing with SoozieVT, that this is in general a <em>good</em> thing. </p>

<p>Btw, Wyoming is one of the top states for a rustic kind of beauty, imo.</p>

<p>Now, being black and urban, I can tell you that some Wyoming folks are going to have some peculiar assumptions about you...<em>overall</em> <em>my</em> judgment is that they're fairly insular. (Otoh, it wasn't that many years ago that a Japanese-American friend had people stare at her when she walked into restaurants in Kansas City or had a potential employer apologize and tell her that he didn't think there were any Buddhist temples around...and she was Presbyterian.) I would be prepared to have a thick skin and to answer levelly what in other circumstances might be impertinent questions...many people won't recognize how rude they're being and others will merely think things. And if you're gay, I would be very careful not to advertise the fact. Lots of rural machismo-laden types with a strong admixture of conservative religious outlook. But going to another part of the country is a great educational experience and I think you should seize it.</p>

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<p>V, I once traveled through Wyoming many years ago. I was 22 then. It was very different from Florida where i had been living. But it was just different, not bad. I also traveled to montana on that same trip with my new husband. That was whn I discovered mountains. As you know Florida has none. What I called mountains my hubby called hills. Then i saw the real thing and it was ausome. I got to picnic beside a cool stream in some mountains in Idaho, chilled my wine and beer in crystal clear water with beautiful smooth rocks lining it as I sat out on a small rock and took in the bewauty all around. I would never have ventured out to this part of the country had i not met and married my hubby. </p>

<p>These are among my best times when I was in my twenties. Wouldn't trade it for anything. I can understand your mothers fear, i have a time with that too with my sons. As her daughter its probably tougher for her. But you have heard from people familiar with the area, you know if this is what you really want or not.
Can you ask your mom to come out during one of the weeks your there?</p>

<p>By the way, I was at sons school today(UCSC) he told me over lunch he wants to travel with friends to Japan this fall. I shocked the hell out of him. I said yes. And offered advice on getting his passport lined up.</p>

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<p>It's about 9 hours driving time from Laramie to Yellowstone. I just drove from Dallas to Jackson Hole and back over the weekend. Wyoming is the 4th largest state in land mass.</p>

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<p>It does look like there's a dearth of minorities at U Wyoming. However, looking at their web site, they seem to go out of their way to make the minorities feel welcome.</p>

<p>Here's a link the # of minorities there in 2002. <a href="http://uwadmnweb.uwyo.edu/admissions/college_profile.asp%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://uwadmnweb.uwyo.edu/admissions/college_profile.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I still say, "Go for it!" Sounds like a lovely location and an interesting summer!</p>

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<p>Ah ha! This is just another "Loop" in your life.</p>

<p>Uh oh, TheDad. I was born at the Evanston hospital (Northbrook).</p>

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<p>You should definitely go! Our daughter spent the summer in the NE last summer and every one thought she should know a lot about cows, coming from the PNW. Right now she's in Arkansas and she got lots of, 'why do you want to go there?' on the trip out. For the most part those folks seem to think she's very cosmopolitan. It's all about perspective, isn't it? Don't miss a great opportunity to change yours a bit. Your family will adapt and they probably will be amazed at how interesting and resourceful you will become.</p>

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<p>Go! New experiences are the best.</p>

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<p>I can certainly understand your mother's concern. Although not everyone in Wyoming is a redneck or a hick, there are bound to be a greater percentage of them in the country than there are in St. Louis. However, you will be in a University setting. Therefore, you should be safe. I don't think that anyone will or can do anything to you. Furthermore, I believe that this experience will broaden your cultural and intellectual horizons. You will meet new people and learn new things about different peoples. And you'll make some money along the way. </p>

<p>Bottom Line: The Pros outweight the cons. GO</p>

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<p>So, vtoodler: what did you decide?</p>

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<p>I am very pleased to see the overwhelming support here on the forum for you to go. It has lifted my spirits, since it is so easy to put down places and people that you don't know or understand.</p>

<p>I grew up in Cheyenne & still have family there. It is 50 miles from Laramie, where I also have lots of family. Please allow me to add some info to counteract some of your family's assumptions:</p>

<p>I went to an integrated public high school with 350 per class, about 70% white, 10% black, 20% hispanic, with a few Native Americans thrown in for good measure. Graduated in 1970, marched in civil rights parades with black classmates in 68,69,70. President of my graduating class was black. The previous year's student body president was black (by popular election). My senior year the school play was Miracle on 34th St, and (yes, you guessed it) our Santa Claus was black. In 1974, Wyoming sent the first black contestant to the Miss America contest. At the time, Cheyenne had a population of about 40,000, with about 350,000 in the entire state. (Currently it is about 60,000 & 530,000, and Laramie about 28,000.)</p>

<p>I went to the east coast for college, and believe me, learned for the first time what racial intolerance really was, up close and personal. I also learned how ignorant and parochial people in the "cosmopolitan" world could be. Wyoming and the rest of the West that were not well settled until after the civil war do not meet the cultural norms of "North" or "South," as people are apt to think of them. Just because there aren't a lot of black folk living in Wyoming doesn't mean it's a hostile environment. </p>

<p>I still run into people on a regular basis who have never met anyone from Wyoming. I think the comments they make to me and the questions they ask me are often rude, insensitive, and ignorant, but I just try to enlighten them gently. I'd bet, though that you won't run into anyone in Wyoming who has never met an African American :) and most people there will have better manners than to make offensive remarks. If it does happen, don't get mad. Just remember 1) there are jerks everywhere and 2) you have an opportunity to teach that person a valuable lesson by helping them to grow too.</p>

<p>While you're there, be sure to visit the Buffalo Soldiers museum on the Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne. It's nothing fancy, but you will learn some very positive history that binds you and me together, even though we have never met, and we are different races.</p>

<p>Please reassure your mom and family that there is absolutely no danger of physical harm to you there. </p>

<p>Please go and have fun!
Laurel</p>

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<p>Nice post Wyogal. This spring I visited an old Buffalo soldiers camp in Texas. Interesting history lessons are everywhere.</p>

<p>As for Wyoming, go.</p>

<p>I have been several times. You should have a ball on the sidetrips.Try it all.</p>

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<p>Whoa, LawyerDad. I don't see this person hung up by his/her own skin. The person is talking of living in an environment where he/she might be of a different race than the majority of the inhabitants. Most of us think it would be a great experience. At the same time, I totally understand a person having some thoughts of appearing different than everyone else. Does that mean this person is not comfortable in his/her own skin? Hardly! It means being able to survive in a climate where others might not be as welcoming of him/her for being different than they are. I live in a very white state. Usually there is maybe one Black student in the entire school. I doubt that student is hung up in his skin but more that it is a very different EXPERIENCE to be the only person in a setting of a different race. It should not matter but it is definitely a perspective that I totally understand coming to that person's mind and what it might be like. While not NEARLY the same as race or skin color, my kids are one of the only of their religion in their school and they are very very comfortable and proud of their heritage but believe me, they run into ignorant people who have no conception that anyone could possibly not be Christian or not celebrate the same holidays and there is an assumption that everyone is alike or the same. </p>

<p>Nobody is patronizing this kid. We are encouraging him to take a risk, to try a new and very different environment even if he/she may feel like he/she might not appear to fit in. It's worth it. Will it be different being the only person of his/her color? It has got to be different from the experience of someone who is in the majority in that setting. None of it has to do with bigotry. If you plopped some wealthy kid into an inner city impoverished neighborhood or school, would that person feel like she would fit in? I guarantee you that the experience would be different for that kid than for kids who had lived there their whole lives and fit the majority profile. </p>

<p>The mom is not a bigot...the mom is someone who may not have ever left her urban culture and is concerned about her child fitting into a place that is far removed from his/her background. The mom is aware that there ARE bigots out there and wants to protect her child. We may not feel as she does but I understand her perspective. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>If the question were asked in reverse:</p>

<p>"I have 24 hours to makes this decision blah blah blah. The problem is I live in Wyoming and my mom is afraid that there will be too many PICK A STEREOTYPE people in St. Louis. blah blah blah ..."</p>

<p>I think that you would advise the person to seize the opportunity. It's a diverse world. You can encounter bigots on your own doorstep. However, it's in confronting the obviously different and discovering the inherent similarity that we can close the gaps. Think of it as being a foreign exchange student. Embrace the opportunity to be yourself in a new setting. You'll learn as much about yourself as you do about the people of Wyoming and about your intern experience.</p>

<p>Your mom would miss you if you went to Kirkwood for seven weeks -- heck, if she's like most of us, she misses you when you go to Walgreens! Send postcards, call, IM, love her from afar.</p>

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<p>I have decided to go.
Now, I just have to convince my mom to stop worrying about me.</p>

<p>Thanks again for the input.</p>

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<p>Good For You!!!</p>

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<p>Good decision! Please give us report when you get back, or better yet while you are there!</p>

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<p>Yay! I am so glad you are seizing this opportunity. I also thought it was similar to doing a foreign exchange and what can be gained. </p>

<p>By the same token, moms worry. It is our job. But sometimes we have to let go and let our kids fly and soar once they reach 18. </p>

<p>Tell your mom that you know another mom who has always been very very very cautious about what she allowed her kids to do before they went to college. And yet, here I am with an 18 1/2 year old driving 4500 miles at the moment. She has never driven more than about 100 miles in the past and mostly just within our own small state. She has traveled a great deal but always under some degree of supervision. But I realized at some point, ya gotta let these kids go the next level and that time can come around age 18 or so. And if I can let my kid do what she is doing now (she is as far as British Columbia at the moment) and given the amount of supervision and cautiousness in the past (and in light of having her teen sister having been in a serious car crash recently that was one of those lucky to be alive type things)....well, if I can do it....your mom can too. And I am also letting my rural teen go to school in urban NYC in the fall at age sixteen and again, I am not a typical permissive mom either. </p>

<p>Tell her some of the points that were raised here in this thread. You can do it. So can she!</p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>vtoodler -
what a wonderful adventure for you! I have to go to work and fight with engineers every day - I'm jealous :-)</p>

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<p>Congratulations, Vtoodler. Let us know how it goes.</p>