Need help re: harp performance plan for college

College Majors Music Major
41

I saw a great cartoon about life being zigs and zags, not a straight line. I also love the concept, which I read about a few years ago, of “wise wandering.” The idea was, basically, that too much premature planning can actually interfere with opportunities. I would add to that the idea that you can cover the same ground doing things in sequence as you can doing things all at once, with much less stress and more enjoyment.

Finally, when there are several options for the undergrad focus, many of us found that our kids were more comfortable applying to cover all options, and then they chose in late April of senior year. A lot can still happen in the long senior year. Just don’t let one option limit another, so to speak. Clarity does come, but sometimes it takes awhile to evolve :slight_smile:

42

@compmom:
I totally agree with that, and not just with music. One of the things I think is the worst part of ‘these times’ is the obsession with “you shouldn’t do anything that isn’t part of your future plan”, as if the future is written in stone. Curiosity, wanting to explore new things, going out of a comfort zone, all fall by the wayside of doing the ‘right things’.

This goes on in music, too, where for example not a few kids do things like programs, summer music festivals, etc because ‘that is the place to be’, rather than doing it because it interests them, and there are a ton of kids who become ‘career obsessed’ the way other kids are 'Ivy obsessed" on the academic side, and forget that the path itself is what brings you someplace. You have kids going into music who are obsessed about becoming a musician, yet seem to eschew so much of what that means IMO, because they have been told that the ultimate goal of getting into an orchestra/becoming a soloist/etc requires “A,B and C and D”, and anything outside that is unimportant (and I am firmly convinced that things like music theory, ear training, music history/musicology, that kids are required to take, are part of this. My S’s school was literally right across the street from the Boston Symphony Hall, for example, and they offered really sweetheart deals for NEC kids to go to performances there (it was free for a lot of it), yet very few kids relatively were interested in going who were in the classical area.

I think personally kids who grow up with that notion are going to find down the road that the expediency they (and especially the ,ahem, parents) went for is going to hurt them, my S has been pretty shocked by the kids who have dropped by the wayside already he has known, kids who teachers reveled in, who won competitions and were supposed to be the cream of the crop, ended up shocked when with grad school they didn’t get into the choice programs, or when they tried to go out into the world, found they really didn’t fit in. Those zigs and zags are how we learn, and the straight and narrow path can fail because it thinks the ultimate is the end game, rather than the path. It reminds me of the old joke about Columbus, that a man who didn’t know where he was going did so, when he got there he didn’t know where he had been, and managed to do it all on borrowed money, and yet he became famous doing what others would call crazy:).

43

On CC we often tell people that in most schools, there is no premed path, and that is certainly true of predental. You can major in anything and go to med or dental or law school. I read a few years ago that music students have the highest admit rate to med school at 62% (wish I could cite this, it was about 4 years ago) The dedication and work ethic that music requires is respected in many contexts.

Majoring in “anything” does mean covering prerequisites and there are programs for that, which I linked earlier.

For undergrad (from the perspective of a parent with three kids who are past college) I would encourage her to think less about the future as she makes her choices (she may lose interest in dental afterall) and more about what she is eager to learn and accomplish in the present, or, should I say, in those 4 precious years.

If she loves music, go for it. If she loves science, go for it. If she cannot decide, go for it and do both. But not for career reasons. I really think that is key. Kids are told, these days, as early as middle school, that they should know their future career. My daughter took a test in 7th grade and the computer told her she would be a conductor or a clown!! Why on earth were they doing this test for such young kids?

Where does the desire to be a dentist come from? Does she love the ocean? Does she love playing the harp?
Does she have other academic interests?

My musician kid applied to all options and ended up at a university where she discovered a love of art history. She is now in a PhD program for music but is glad for that broader experience. She often combines art and music when she teaches undergrads.

But in late April of senior year it was truly 49/50% and she took the whole month to decide. So she had a college experience and is now in a conservatory. She has friends who went to conservatory and are now in a university.

Life is flexible. I hope she can stop planning so much and do whatever she loves, and good luck to her in figuring it out. Lots of time, just make sure she sets things up so she can decide at the end of senior year and you can relax for a bit :slight_smile:

ps I am trying not to let any bias slip in because I absolutely love the harp and don’t love my dentist :slight_smile:

44

Well, as a very realistic mom of a music student, the biggest shock I had was realizing how heartbreaking it was to watch your child go off to college… so having him living in my basement at 30 doesn’t sound as bad now as it did when we were researching music schools. :slight_smile:

I think the arts is a career area that’s much more self-determining than, let’s say, engineering (which is what I am.) You can have a fantastic audition, great grades and test scores, and get into a top conservatory. You can get great grades through your college years. But, ultimately, I think whether or not you can sustain a career in music simply depends on your ability to execute your craft and, frankly, your ability to manage the lifestyle that goes with it.

Last night, my son played a gig in Detroit and a few of his old musician acquaintances dropped in. One the kids I thought was so talented a few years ago, but I also knew had family and school issues. I remember one ensemble they played in where he basically never showed up for rehearsals and was even a no-show for a performance. I think he barely graduated from high school. But he seems to have matured a lot and is attending a local community college. They were great on stage together last night. But, will my son, who has had all the advantages of a supportive family and a well-known conservatory be more successful than this kid? Impossible to predict.

45

@compmom.

“Lots of time, just make sure she sets things up so she can decide at the end of senior year and you can relax for a bit”

Good advice. Looks like she’ll be applying at several places to keep the options open, and we’ll see what time brings.

46

Good for her. Good luck!

47

@compmom:
“ps I am trying not to let any bias slip in because I absolutely love the harp and don’t love my dentist”

What, you don’t love the dentist? “I love going to the dentist, I don’t understand why people hate it, it is just so thrilling”…(Jack Nicholson, “Little Shop of Horrors” C1962, Roger Corman low budget special:)