Need help with my temple admissions essay

<p>Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?</p>

<p>After receiving my bachelor's degree in public health from Temple University, I thrived academically and professionally for an entire decade. I continued my studies in the medical school program, and now as a graduate, and in my last year of residency, I am finally about to receive my white coat. In the many years I have invested in school, I am now able to look back and appreciate the hard and good times I have endured. I am proud I chose Temple as the school to help me accomplish my goals. Temple has equipped me with the confidence, strength and knowledge to go out into the professional world and become the best. I have so much for which to thank Temple that this one letter cannot adequately describe my appreciation.</p>

<p>During many years of schooling at Temple, I also met my lifelong love, and with our union we share a very vibrant-intelligent two year-old. Having to be a role model to my little girl, I set high expectations for my family and myself. As a family we are now saving for the purchase of our first home, where we can install the principles of an important education and the perusal of dreams. In my near future, I also plan to travel around the world working with Doctors Without Borders and help save people around the world. With my taking part in Temples Study Abroad program I have been able to receive experience and a head start in pursuit of my dream. My attendance at Temple University is the key to the very high powered engine that drives me toward my envisioned future as a doctor. Temple helped me become the very strong-dynamic woman I am today, so thank you, Temple, for being the start to my personal and professional life.</p>

<p>any advice or tips on how to make it better and more powerfull</p>

<p>any1 have any advice</p>

<p>Hey I know this is late but how did everything go. Please let me know becuase im kinda in the same situation and i just wanna know if you got in…</p>