@CValle, Depending on your host country, being an American expatriate can be a sort of extracurricular. Life experience is an important factor in admissions, and my observation is that kids who grew up in “interesting” overseas environments do very well at selective colleges. How to define “interesting?” Could be anything that makes the experience stand out – economically developing country, political hotspot, exposure to a lesser known religion or culture. The key is to communicate what the student’s life experience can contribute to the campus community through essays, resumes and recommendations.
Could you clarify if you have a home state university to fall back on? Even if you live abroad, you may fulfill your state’s requirements. This would give your daughter a reasonable safety, both in admissions and finances.
Secondly, have you run the net price calculators for some of the schools that your daughter has identified? Oddly enough, some of the most selective schools are also the most generous with need-based funds. For urban/suburban LACs look at Macalester, Swathmore, Haverford, Bryn Mawr, Pomona. If she’s flexible on the location, try Williams, Amherst, Middlebury, Grinnell, Carleton.
If need-based aid isn’t going to work, then you need to bridge the gap between your $20K contribution and what you might achieve in merit aid. As others have pointed out $40K+ in merit is a tall order, at LACs or at schools of any size. There are some wonderfully generous one-off merit scholarships out there, but they’re difficult to predict and risky to count on. For substantial merit, you have to be prepared to cast a WIDE net, maybe applying to 15+ schools.
Of course, incurring debt for an undergraduate degree isn’t anyone’s first choice, but you and your daughter need to consider that possibility and try to quantify how much debt would be bearable. No need-based aid, no debt, and only $20K a year in input, means her choices will narrow considerably, so explore how you could eke out each of these channels with additional funds.
I wouldn’t worry so much about her major or her ultimate career at this point. Unless she’s headed for a professional degree (like engineering) she won’t have to settle on a major until around the end of her sophomore year. Graduates of top schools, large and small, can do well financially no matter what their majors are, as long as they use their undergraduate years to build their resumes with internships and summer jobs, make connections with professionals in their fields of interest, take advantage of their colleges’ career counseling services and leverage their relationships with their professors and advisers. The career path starts in the first year, but may take multiple twists and turns before the ultimate goal is achieved.