You gave up a week in Tuscany for a Colby hockey game. Some would think that was a fair trade! ?
@twoinanddone, yep we’ll be at Midlothian in June, the Paris of Chesterfield County. Actually I have one at U Richmond and I’ve come to really love the city. If it weren’t for the stupid lacrosse games I could sit at the bar at the Jefferson Hotel and get happy.
@gardenstategal, honestly, it was the coolest D3 sporting event I’ve ever seen. I actually watched their subsequent Bowdoin game on my phone. When I told my daughter that Clarkie scored twice she looked at me like I was a lunatic, which was the correct impression. (Side note: it’s not the same watching on the phone AT ALL.)
@OCDaddy, Sometimes I really love reading questions that the posters essentially answer for themselves a few posts later. As you describe your daughter’s achievements, of course she is in the mix. Work hard, keep at it, Europe is not going anywhere (famous last words?).
One bit of unsolicited advice – be “that parent.” You can and should remain invisible, but you definitely need to give guidance and lend support. It’s a great process, but we just can’t expect 16 and 17 year olds to know how to get recruited. Many still think, “well if I show up at a showcase/camp and do well, the coaches will come to me.” When the coaches send nothing more than mass emails for college camps, they give up.
I remember watching a NESCAC football game come down to the final minutes. We were so close to the game, I could hear the coach say “okay, who has the biggest heart” (or words to that effect). That’s what coaches want. They want the kids to want to be at the college, they want the kids who work the hardest in order to start, they want the kids to go the extra mile. So that is what you have to do to get recruited. It means sending out 10 emails to a coach who has never responded. It means taking a trip to a school for an unofficial to meet with the coach (coaches expect - or at least won’t think it unusual - for you to be there). It means every time your daughter has a good tournament, emailing the results and award to the coach. And, you have to do all this at a time when your daughter is (maybe) playing club and for her high school and working on getting good grades in AP classes and on ACTs. It is exhausting, but if you ask those who have gone through it, it can be quite rewarding.
1 Like
@gointhruaphase, get out of my head!!! You’re absolutely right, and the speech you gave me is one often I’ve given my daughter. Very few athletes are so transcendent that the opportunities come to them, and she is certainly not in that category. Most kids have to take that step forward and be determined enough to compete for attention. Be respectful, don’t be a pain in the a$$, but show them you’re willing to work for it.
Great post and thanks for the reminder. As nearly an aside, she received an email this morning from the coach today saying “you’re not on our top tier, rather our watch list, and we’d love to keep communicating with you”, which is as we expected. As Jim Carrey said in Dumb and Dumber, “so you’re sayin’ there’s a chance!”
OCDaddy, the codewords not in our top tier means there will be likely no offer of coach support. That doesn’t mean she still can’t get accepted though. The coaches have to fill out their rosters with walk ons, as they only have so many slots to offer their support for. I would keep the communication up with all of the coaches at schools of interest. If you keep the communication open and let them know she will be applying regardless of coach support I do think the coaches find a way to let admissions know of potential walk on candidates. That being said, without coach support at these schools grades, scores, need to be at competitive levels and maybe a note from the coach puts them over the top.
Feel free to PM anytime if you want some advice, I went through this 2x in the last 3 years, in D1,D2, and DIII
Thanks, @RightCoaster. I agree that it means she is on the outside looking in for coach support. But that’s today. Circumstances could change, right? I guess my question now is: if she’s not in the top tier she’s in essence on a waiting list. Is the top tier larger than the eventual recruiting class? In other words how many would have to remove themselves in order for the coaches to fall back to their watch list?
@OCDaddy, she would probably end being a walk on at that school. But keep going with the others. My daughter will be playing soccer at a NESCAC next year and her process didn’t even start with that school until last May (of her junior year). She was told in January of junior year that she was not in the top tier of one school. But they seemed to make their decisions earlier than the others. She was in the mix at two NESCACS who didn’t even see her play until January of junior year at the earliest. There’s time.
@OCDaddy , she could move up on the “list” I guess, but lax is a tough team to make in the Nescacs as coaches look at recruiting from proven programs with proven results. Those coaches all have connections into the top boarding schools and with top regional club lax teams. It’s like a big social club, they all know each other. I think they have a general list of recruits of interest by now, but Nescacs like to have junior year transcripts completed, all test results done so they can have a pre-read done around July 1. By the end of junior year, most kids start figuring out what type of school they would like or not, and so if there is interest on both sides the coach will get that pre read done and see where recruits stand. Then in Fall of senior year, official visits happen and if those go well a coach will ask the kid to ED in order to gain their full support with admissions ( those exact words).
I would keep communications open with multiple coaches at all levels D1-D3, and at varying levels of academic difficulty , size, locale etc. That way she could hopefully have a few choices in the end.
If she is told she is not on the the coaches top tier of recruiting, she could always ask where she stands. Most coaches are used to these kind of questions. They can be pretty direct, though, like say we are not interested at all, lol . From our experience you’ll know when the coach is genuinely interested when they start showing the love!
A lot can happen during the season too. The coach can get a new job, the team can do a lot better or a lot worse than in previous years, so kids who were ‘for sure’ going to #1 choice now won’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. My daughter played for a new team with a new coach. Year one was 50/50 (better than predicted), year two was better, years 3 and 4 they were ranked in the top 10 and went to the NCAAs. Recruiting changed from a lot of local kids to include a lot more transfers. Now three years later they aren’t ranked at all, and things aren’t going well for the new coach.
All she can do it her best, both academically and on the field. It will work out just fine.
If she loves the school, there is nothing to be lost from “staying in touch”. Right now, while everyone is at the early end of the process, every coach has a lot of prospects. Some will choose other schools. Some may not pass pre-reads. There may be a lot for one position but few for others. And your D may have a truly amazing spring! The pieces may shift over the next several months.
Definitely pursue other options. And you can certainly ask if there would be any support if she applied without being a top recruit. Some schools will allow a coach’s finger on the scale if an applicant is very strong.
I don’t have good info for girls’ lacrosse but I will echo what others are saying about keeping in touch will all coaches for schools where your D is interested. S19 was being recruited by Kenyon for XC (officially recruited with the coach even coming to our hometown to visit him) and also received fuzzy but positive support from Dickinson and Carleton. He also had nothing but encouraging emails from the Hamilton and Bowdoin coaches but neither of those flat out asked him to apply ED or offered him a spot.
He was accepted to all of these schools in RD and, after admittance, all of the coaches called or emailed and welcomed him to the school and said they hoped he still planned on running. So, even though his stats were high and he had other ECs that made him a strong and well-rounded candidate, it’s possible those coaches also put a little tip for him in RD. He’s at Bowdoin now and has never asked his coach but that’s the impression he got. He knows two freshmen runners who were officially recruited in ED and they are definitely faster than him. But he’s catching up now. Lol.
It’s different for sports like lacrosse where there are limited spots on the team but I just wanted to point out that, if the lacrosse teams at the schools have walk ons at all, your D may get a tip and then walk on in RD. It will be a mystery though. And I suppose you will only get to that point if your D doesn’t ED anywhere or she gets denied in the ED round.
It’s a long muddled road if recruiting is part of the picture. For us, S19 didn’t prioritize the sport and applied where he wanted to go. He got lucky and it all worked out.
And, yes, those NESCAC hockey games are fun! Who needs Big Ten football?
Too many people to thank but I’m grateful for all of the advice and counsel. I thought I knew a lot about the NESCAC process but I’ve learned a ton from all of you.
She will keep chasing Colby and Williams and hope for the best there. Emails are free and she knows it’s a long shot so there’s no emotional over-investment. I’ll watch Colby hockey on my phone. (Crap. Goal by Hamilton.)
She’s talking to some coaches where sports have less pull - Swarthmore, MIT, Chicago, Haverford - and are a tier down in lacrosse competitiveness. Maybe she’ll find a match.
Looking back on my last post I should add that she has several other schools on her list that aren’t such difficult admits, some where she’s getting better recruiting traction, others that have no lacrosse at all. Didn’t want anyone to think we were chasing all lottery ticket schools.
@OCDaddy, I know girls who are at UofC and MIT now. Based on what you have shared about athletics, your D should be in their short list IMHO. But for both those schools, academics are the primary so that will be where she will need to meet expectations.
One girl on my D1’s club team was recruited to Williams in fall of senior year, so timelines may be longer than conventional wisdom.
If you are open to long distances, check out the Claremont schools. Their program is rising and the academics are NESCAC level.
@BobcatPhoenix , I agree with you about the Claremont schools and even visited but she couldn’t get any meaningful traction with either lax coach. It’s hard to commit to spending that much on a clinic that will likely lead nowhere.
We are heading to Williamstown this weekend so maybe she’ll play lights-out and find herself in the mix. I’m keeping my expectations low. Either way I’ll be in the Water Street Grill staying lubricated.
Are you staying at the new Williams Inn? It’s nice and there’s a bar right downstairs so you won’t even have to walk to water street!
Good luck with weather. The one time I took my older daughter there she said “it’s too cold here, I think I should look at schools in FL!”
@one1ofeach , sold out! And jeez, choices 2 through 10 are a big drop-off.
Campus is covered in snow and will be over 40 this weekend so to me that’s perfect. She gets to see it the way it’s supposed to look and I don’t have to freeze.
^Lol. We have always lived in warm weather areas. Daughter played softball at a NESCAC and it was always amusing to watch her April games on live stream and we could see fans still bundled in ski jackets while we were sitting at home in shorts. We weren’t even in the East division where the Maine schools are.
We are from DC/Baltimore and winter is usually cold. But this winter has been so warm (yesterday was almost 60!) we have become full-on, Florida-level cold wimps.
Enjoy! I was there last weekend for a soccer ID clinic. Played outside in the afternoon with temps in the mid 20’s . . .