In terms of what @twoinanddone says about the process – that connects to my suggestion about having schools which hit both admissions and recruiting “safeties” – there are plenty of D3 schools which are not competitive enough in their sports and not selective enough in admissions to require ED for recruits. Having some EA schools where a kid has a spot and gets in during Nov-Dec timeframe, often before an ED decision, helps. For my kid, that included schools like Lawrence University, Wooster, Earlham etc.
And even for schools which are more selective for recruiting and admissions, there are mechanisms to reduce the uncertainty through summer admissions pre-reads, running the NPC, and asking Admissions for a financial aid pre-read (some schools do them). But if a student wants the opportunity to decide in April whether to play for Amherst or Williams, they probably will not have that luxury because those schools will probably have filled their teams. Depending on the athlete and the sport, there may be walk on opportunities, and for a student who really wants to weigh the options in spring, that is information to get in the fall from coaches. I’d guess that many coaches will say something like, “we can’t predict whether we will take walk ons in any given year, but of course, if you are admitted in the spring, please contact me and let’s talk.” I’m guessing it is less common to hear the “no walk ons, ever” as the OP noted Kenyon swim coach said, but there is some comfort in that knowledge.
I think the advice from @Midwestmomofboys – put differently – is start with a very long list of potential colleges. We always included every possible college in the mix early on, and we did not always follow the views of a 16 year old kid.
They often have strange reasons (e.g., I couldn’t go to a school named after a toothpaste) for liking or not liking a school. Obviously, they made the choice in the end, but for the opening list, go long my friend.
It often takes time for a student’s objectives, and family needs, to crystalize. It sounds like at one time, non-merit schools were on Midwestmomofboys’ list, but as reality sank in the objectives changed. That is not only fine, it is to be expected. Another recruit’s objective might be non-financial, i.e., to get into a “better” school than he or she could without recruiting. Again, a fine reason, given the individual objectives. Having a long list of potential schools allows a recruit to bob and weave through changing objectives and options. It allows a recruit both to “go down” and “go up.” We also found having a long list was helpful for the “karma” effect – opening up options at places that we never dreamed were available.
I think this is what Midwestmomofboys was referring to when saying that at a certain point in time “NESCAC and other schools (such as Haverford, Swat etc.) which do not do merit came off the list . . .”
@gointhruaphase I absolutely agree about keeping the funnel wide at the beginning, and then narrowing as objectives and needs become clear.
More specifically, for the OP, I was responding to their comment in #17 that their EFC says they are full pay, but they cannot manage that – hence, my advice about merit and how that might shape the recruiting process.