I hope at least one rising undergraduate reads this-- because then it would have been worth it.
After my admissions process 3 years ago, and after watching younger&older friends go through the same motions, the most important thing I learned is that you should never settle. Do you have a safety school so you at least get in “somewhere”? Don’t. It is far better to take a gap year doing something incredible for the world and reapplying the next year than to go to school you feel isn’t good enough for you. Yes, some people earn excellent grades and transfer (I know a few of them), but this is rare and such a waste of intellectual artistry. Think of the good you could do, money you could earn, and things you could learn during that time. You will waste your freshman year if you spend it worrying about getting perfect grades and stressed about a transfer. Apply to the schools you want. Don’t settle. Ever.
Why do you assume a “safety” isn’t a happy choice?
And of course you sometimes have to settle. No applicant gets to tell the college to admit him or her. There’s a selection process and those who go in blind or only based on “I want” may miss the boat.
Stick around CC and see how “dreams” are no guarantee, not even a tip. You may have your “standards,” but the colleges do the choosing. You match them. Or not.
Plenty of kids with sub-par stats and other matching problems will never get into that top college they covet. No one should tell them to wait for lightning to strrike.
I think an underrated and important part of the process is finding those safety/match schools that an applicant WOULD be excited to attend. There are tons of amazing colleges and universities out there where people can have a great experience and get where they want to go in life.
Well, no. If you have it in you, if you have the spirit to achieve, you could do something incredible enough to go where you want (within reason) no matter what your high school experience was.
I am telling them to wait, but not for a lightning strike. If you apply to enough schools, none of them which you would consider “settling”, chances are you’ll get in. Going to a school that won’t allow you/be motivating enough for you to live the life you want is a waste of time for 80% of people.
No. If you apply to a pile of colleges you do not qualify for, you will not get in. We discuss this fallacy all the time on CC.
If you do nolt like a college, it’s easy: do…not…apply.
That does not mean you wiill get into those you do like, simply on the basis that they meet with your approval. YOU have to meet what THEY want.
If you identify your fit preferences, and only apply to schools that meet them, there is no reason you won’t enjoy your time at a safety. You might have to work a bit harder for time with profs, but that’s ok.
Some can’t afford the schools they want either. Some “settle” for financial reasons because they are getting the education they can afford to get. Nothing wrong or shameful in that. It’s called being practical and prudent.
Completely different situation-- I understand. Fortunately if ivies are in reach, a lot of them give full financial aid. If not, that’s definitely a different call than the one I was intending to advise on.
I don’t think it’s a matter of “settling” so much as “prioritizing.”
When my daughter started her college search, believe it or not a priority was suite style living. She had had an ugly bout of the flu during her junior year, and simply couldn’t imagine having to run down the hall to get ill in the middle of the night. While not a priority for me, it was for her, so we included it in the things we considered.
As we saw more schools, and learned more about each school, it became less and less of a priority. The school she can’t wait to attend has a traditional dorm structure.
She didn’t “settle.” She realized that other things were more important to her.
That said, the school she originally really, really wanted to attend didn’t accept her. She spent a day crying, had some ice cream therapy, and readjusted her sites. She applied to the school she’ll be attending in January. She wasn’t even aware of its existence when she sent out her first round of applications.
I agree with your point-- you should not be applying to any school you wouldn’t be reasonably happy to attend, or any school you can’t afford to go to. Each letter you get from a school should be one you’re crossing your fingers for, hoping for an acceptance because you can really see yourself going there.
If you can’t come up with an adequate list of schools like that-- that you can get into, that you can afford, that you can see yourself happily attending-- then you may have to re-examine your list of priorities and find ones that match you as a candidate.
The definition of a safety is a school you’re sure to get accepted to, is affordable, and is someplace you’d be happy to attend if there are no other affordable acceptances. If a student wouldn’t be “delighted” to attend the school they classified as their safety, it’s not a true safety.
Honestly, I think a lot of people (students and parents both) are kind of snobby about schools. It’s more open here on CC, but people really want brand names and idealized experiences. I’m glad that’s not my thing and doubly glad it’s even less my kids thing.
I’ve found quite a few examples of college freshman coming back home to our town for the summer who went to their “safeties” and they all are having the time of their lives at school and thriving. I’m trying to make sure S19 hears every one of these stories!
I can’t predict if he will be disappointed in his college acceptances next year but, whatever happens, I know he’ll be fine. Of course it will sting if he’s turned down by some favorite schools but learning to be resilient is important as well.
I think it might be too much to ask every student to be “delighted” about each school on the list. I would settle for “willing.” Sometimes life requires compromises. Most people can’t get absolutely everything they want either in a school or in life. But as @bjkmom stated, its about priorities. Maybe you would love to have a medium sized prestigious school with a CS major on a lovely campus in a cute college town in the Northeast. If you can get all of that, great. But do you really NEED all of it? What elements are most important? Is it the size, the major, the brand name? What can you live without?
When my D1 started her search, she wanted a very specific major in a specific location on a lovely campus near a city or cute college town. As our search went on, she realized that she had to let go of some of those things. In the end, specific major was most important with location being a close second. That realization opened up her choices.
I have also seen kids head off to schools they were ambivalent about and end up loveing it. I have seen kids head off to their first choices and end up miserable. And of course, sometimes kids get exactly what they were hoping and live happily ever after.
Personally, I think its a mistake to take a gap year just because you are not thrilled with your college choices. Part of growing up is about learning to work with what you have.
“But anyway, no applicant, especially no freshman applicant, is above a school. No one is too good for a school.”
While this is a feel good statement it’s just not accurate. Top students need to be challenged (like-minded peers, excellent professors and curriculum, research opportunities, quality internships, etc.) to optain their full potential. Some colleges just do a better job of hitting all of those areas than others. That is a fact.
To the OP, I think you have been given some great advice here, safeties should be colleges that are a good fit, affordable, a high likely acceptance rate for your stats, and one that you would be happy to attend if the match/reach colleges don’t work out.
In life, people don’t get what they want MOST the time. It’s just how life works. Now is a good time to do some thinking, because if you enter the career world with that attitude, you won’t get far at all. Smarts is not everything. College brand name means dittly-squat to employers. They want to see knowledge, skill, and the ability to work with people from diverse backgrounds. If they sense an attitude they don’t like, there are plenty of other candidates they can choose from.