<p>Nightchef: I think the thank you not is not a deal-breaker. IMO, to the extent it is considered at all, it is germaine to the kids’s interest level in the school (assuming there aren’t glaring spelling or grammar issues). </p>
<p>RTR: Helping kids “craft a thank you note?” Give me a break.</p>
<p>No downside to the thank you note. They were sent after every interview and rec. letter. Double to the poor teacher who had the honor of writing the teacher rec. for the multiple scholarship applications. At our house, thank you notes have been a requirement since the preschool birthday parties when DS drew a picture of the gift, a heart and signed with a messy signature – so the senior year thanks came without parental intervention. I’m just hoping he’s beyond the picture drawing stage…</p>
<p>I think thank you notes to teachers who write recs are appropriate. Nightchef, I know many consultants suggest thank you notes to interviewers, but I doubt you are disadvantaged by not writing one; I am sure the impression made during the interview is much more important.</p>
<p>We did thank you notes for the schools were our son interviewed and decided to apply. He wrote them, and I looked at them. As for the two teachers who did recs, a load of cookies went in as thank you’s today. My only hope is they don’t end up smashed on the floor of his locker. </p>
<p>I think the notes to the schools are only important to show interest, and that’s got to be marginal at best. I really wonder if they even made it to his file.</p>
<p>Thank you notes have probably gone out with not wearing white shoes after Labor Day!
I have one child that did them for interviews, and two others that didn’t. My S can barely write, so uses email. His handwriting looks like a third grader’s! I don’t think the thank you notes are really that big a deal to an interviewer, but it does show interest. I do feel it is important to write thank you notes to the teachers for doing the recommendations & writing a thank you note to the guidance counselor, and the older 3 kids have done that in the past. </p>
<p>Bear in mind that an interviewer could receive a thank you note & not remember who you were, because they interview so many applicants.</p>
<p>Same here - - D1 wrote notes; D2 refused. I don’t think there’s any real disadvantage to not sending notes. Still, I wish D2 had written b/c the note- - if only b/c it is a sign of good home-training (speaking as the -one who attempted to train her).</p>
<p>I recall that each of adcoms who interviewed D1’ remembered D1 and her note - - but D1 was always the kid adults remembered/loved. Several of D2’s interviews were conducted by students. Even if student interviewers remember D2, unlike adcoms, they are unlikely to be involved in reading/rating applicant files.</p>
<p>(Still hoping to get D2 up to Alfred!)</p>
<p>I think its better to err on the side of political correctness and write the note. Nothing bad can come of it if it’s a simple “thank you for taking the time” kind of thing. And I think it will help kids who the adcoms and interviewers may not remember otherwise.</p>
<p>How is everyone doing today?</p>
<p>I am feeling overburdened with understanding the financial aid process. If it were just a matter of filling out forms, it would be one thing, but I’m starting to get the sense that it’s a game just like putting together the best college application. Ugh.</p>
<p>RTR, hang in there. I imagine that, after the stress of finalizing the list and the apps and essays, the aid forms seem like a kids’ videogame, where you go through endless battles, think you have won–and then realize you have just gotten to level 2.<br>
I remember my parents–a teacher and a researcher with no inherited money, etc–shaking their heads that they never received any aid while putting 2 children a year apart through Ivy colleges and grad schools. Part of the key to staying sane seems to be ignoring the stories about people being advantaged by lying or having splurged while you were saving. </p>
<p>Good luck and do not get too worried if the first aid offer coming in is shockingly low–CC is filled with posts about wildly differing aid offers for the same child from the same level of school.</p>
<p>Hi,
Just jumping on this thread, as when I saw the title I was quite relieved. I have a older son who kept me hopping on the other boards, but now it’s time to try to find parents and support that matches my 2nd son who is now a senior and right square in the middle of the B student thread here. What prompted me to come today was the October SAT scores released today. My son did 100 points worse this time around and I’m feeling so regretful for so many reasons, like not doing Nov 1st deadlines because we were hoping for better scores, not sending the scores when he took the test originally and now having to wait again, as he’s taking an SAT II Subject Test that was only available in November for him to take [French II with Listening]. To top it off, we’ve been so overwhelmed in general because the senior schedule he was recommended for in the spring was way too much for him and within three weeks he had to change three classes, which took over another week, so he left 3 classes with Ds, and transferred into three new ones, having to average those grades into the current term. There is a grade bounce of 10 points, but he’s also been trying to make up the month’s worth of work missed in those classes while also trying to stay current with the work in them, and his other classes.<br>
We never anticipated this senior year crash, and it definitely is not ‘senioritis’. I cried for three days after spending the afternoon at the high school trying to sort things out. I must say everyone was extremely supportive, including Guidance, so it did make it easier. But now, we’re way behind on the college applications, missed the EA deadlines that would have helped given his B-student resume. Just trying to take a deep breath and not appear overwhelmed to my son, since he’s already lost so much of his confidence with this happening. Last year, his junior year, was the best one of all of his academic tenure. Now rather than being able to focus on the college apps per se, we’re trying to make sure his grades don’t fall apart, as that changes everything as far as where he can apply.
Some have said that it’s a good thing it happened now, and I do agree, better here than next year 250 miles away at a college, but boy, it has taken the wind out of our sails and also made us very apprehensive about what the college transition will be like. I have friends who have told me that their kids were ‘struggling’ but honestly most people DON’T talk about that, so you get this rosy idea that kids are supposed to sail in college. I am worried it is going to be a tough transition and I want to be fully prepared, so I can help my son become much more independent now before he goes, so he doesn’t lose it once there…wherever it may be.
Great reading the posts here. Nice thread.
CCL</p>
<p>so sorry your son is going through such turmoil…sounds like you are handling it as best as you can; good that you straightened out his senior schedule; wouldn’t stress too much about what can’t be reversed…
please let us know what we can do to help going forward; you’ve come to the right place…</p>
<p>just some inform people in this thread that 10 kids from my public high school were accepted to Boston College and none of them were above a 3.5, most of them had 3.0-3.4, 10 kids got into BC from my school and 7 went, two of them had been suspended and i think the one who was highest in the class took only 2 AP classes, pretty dumb class maybe?</p>
<p>but goes to show you that anything can happen, my high school is not an amazing high school either, medium sized metro-Boston town</p>
<p>CapeCod–hang in there. Don’t second guess yourself; you did the best you could on the informaiton you had at the time.</p>
<p>And, with online applications (and potential use of the common app and the same essay), if you choose, you can still meet some 11/1 deadlines–I suspect that if you get the application in, they will give you a grace period for recommendations and transcripts. </p>
<p>Do you have your list near ready?</p>
<p>CapeCod - I am so sympathetic to your struggles. Don’t sweat the EA thing…its not worth it to worry about something you can’t change. Move forward and focus on what can be done to get him admitted to schools where he’ll be happy. I also agree with yabeyabe that by getting the applications in before the deadline, you should be ok - have his transcripts sent up to this semester and his test scores sent with the better results. Stuff happens all the time, and colleges are aware. CALL the admissions offices if you are worried about the EA, I find talking to a real human being about these things (rather than reading the school websites and CC!) very helpful.</p>
<p>CapeCod, it isn’t worth the worrying etc… EA isn’t that important! My S hasn’t done any apps yet & we have our “Spreadsheet” with all the deadline dates etc. There is nothing wrong with doing Regular Decision! Plus our high school does everything the old-fashioned way-nothing electronic on the Common App, they do everything by snail mail! So we have to keep that in mind as well. This is my 4th time around for this with 4 kids and looking back now, I wish I hadn’t gotten myself worked up over everything! Your S will get into a good school, be happy there & be successful! Then you will look back and think how crazy it was for you to be wringing your hands over it. Trust me, been there, done that! 
</p>
<p>CapeCod, as other folks have said, don’t sweat the EA thing. I think the only thing that really helps (and of course it’s school dependent) is ED, and for that you need to be totally sure. Compared to the college bound population in general (rather than the skewed sample you see here at CC) I don’t think you’re late at all. As elizabethh said, focus on what you can affect (like getting the app done and in), and don’t worry about the hiccup.</p>
<p>Cape Cod, This just got sent out in the weekly newsletter from my S’s school:</p>
<p>“The last weeks of October are full of pressures for a great number of seniors. About half of the seniors will apply for early decision or early action at a college or university this month. The application deadline for most schools is November 1. This date also coincides with the end of the first quarter, a marking period which can be particularly important in the college application process. While I think one can discuss at great length the merits of “early action” or “early decision” practices, the current reality is that for many students these are processes that may help them gain admittance to a desirable college or university. In the face of these pressures, we would suggest taking a little time to speak with your sons about the pressures they face and help them cope with them successfully. Two perspectives seem to be most needed. The first is to help them articulate their concerns; pressures spoken are much better managed. The second is to! help them plan out the next few weeks. Many of us can be paralyzed by pressure and helping students to organize the next few weeks will help them to gain control of a process that might otherwise overwhelm them. Teachers and guidance counselors have been doing this for the past several weeks. Hopefully, together, we can help them through this arduous process. If at any time these pressures your sons are facing seem too overwhelming, there is no harm done in putting off an early application.”</p>
<p>Your S will get into a school. Maybe EA would have given him a slight edge,maybe not. The big thing is to do your homework and make sure he has several safety schools to choose from next spring that he will be happy to attend and you can afford. Hopefully, he will get into his first choice, but just in case make sure he has several other choices. </p>
<p>Good luck to you and your S.</p>
<p>Wow, thanks so so much everyone. I want to write to each and everyone of you separately but don’t want to spam the board or monopolize. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Really trying to focus, pick up the pieces, and ignore the exhaustion. [is anyone losing sleep here?]<br>
My son’s guidance counselor has offered to extend the mandatory school deadline [which was last week] for my son to do 1 or 2 November 15th deadlines. That really would help if he could take some of the pressure off and have at least 2 done and not have to wait. His college app deadlines start with EAs on November 1st but then the regular admissions are very late, into February. I don’t think we can let it go that long without going crazy. Plus the financial aid pieces are due earlier for some of them, then the actual admission applications if you want to be considered.<br>
We have alot of work to do this weekend, but my son is taking the first big step today with the bulk of the requirements. Going through this now has made me realize how much more independent my older son was, as he took care of all of the details the school requires and I didn’t even know it.<br>
On a positive note, all of the class changes seem to have worked out very well. His grades seem to be soaring, even though the class sizes are maxed out compared to the higher level classes. We are praying he’ll get all of the grades up to B level by the end of the term next week. If not, guidance has suggested we write additional information as to what happened at the start of the year, the class changes, and so forth. He was trying to challenge himself as they say, but it backfired. They may be more amenable to learning that, then looking and saying, why is this student still in college prep English. Funny too, since he’s in AP French, but that’s another story.<br>
Mamom, I love that article you posted. Very insightful and genuinely caring and understanding of the issues.<br>
Thanks again everyone. Look forward to posting happier days ahead and hearing all of your stories as well. I am very grateful to have found this thread on CC. I made the mistake of reading the SAT [are you happy or not] thread earlier and I was, well, not feeling any kinship with that whole scene.<br>
Have a great day everyone. Back to the ‘list’ 
CCL</p>
<p>Just think, one year from now (or even this summer), we can meet up in Sinner’s Alley and reminisce our experiences w/college apps and SATs/ACTs…for now, I’m taking a mental break from nagging and college apps. I’m going to watch my kid’s band performance and cherish the last months of high school band! Have a great weekend everyone!</p>
<p>My S sent out most of his applications yesterday (YEAH!) Still has 3 to complete. It was really difficult to decide early action or regular decision. Each school handles early action differently. Some schools defer you to regular admissions while others deny you. S is going to take the Nov. and Dec. SATs so he decided on regular decision on most schools. Hoping for a higher SAT score.</p>