<p>This thread has been opened by a moderator because an earlier thread called "Sirens and Ambulances" devolved when parents began arguing on it.</p>
<p>Students, please feel free to post here and process your thoughts.</p>
<p>I will start by expressing condolences to the campus friends and acquaintances of the several students whose lives have ended in recent weeks.</p>
<p>Thank you for creating a new thread NOT sieged by crazy parents arguing about Cornell. It’s been a rough week for students and we’re just trying to get over the fact that two of our peers just decided to end their lives. Our hearts and prayers go out to their families…I cannot imagine what they must be going through right now.</p>
<p>I just discovered this song, and the first verse and chorus are worth listening to in regards to recent events. They really go along with what’s been going on here and all of the recent student initiatives to help prevent it from happening again. [YouTube</a> - Matt Kennon, “The Call” - OFFICIAL VIDEO](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK3zs7EV6Tk]YouTube”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK3zs7EV6Tk)</p>
<p>such a shame to see some of the news lately. Not a good year, I’m pretty sure more students have passed (swine flu, cancer, accidents, suicides) in the past 6 or 8 months than my entire time as a student.</p>
<p>classes this morning, what did you think? I know it has always been so but I really liked hearing directly that professors care and they had good evidence from the past to back this up (rather than just saying it).
the one thing, and I’m sure it was totally not intentional and I’m not blaming them, but it made me sadder than before when multiple professors brought up recent deaths they were dealing with in their lives. I am totally aware they are people, and it helps to talk about those things, but now I am worrying about them and I can’t help it! I might not be in for office hours or sitting in the front row but I always end up caring about my professors (even when I don’t know what they’re talking about.)</p>
<p>I had two lectures this morning…the first began with a slide about Cornell’s mental health services, and the second began with a minute of silence as well as a bit of a pep talk. It was really nice to see this show of support from my professors.</p>
<p>I think one of the biggest problems with society is the stigma that they attach to mental disorders, however small they might be. This only serves to alienate people, exacerbating any feelings of anxiousness or depression they might have.
When I’ve mentioned mental disorders as extenuating circumstances to friends they brush it off with a sly remark like “tell that person to grow a pair,” or they will spout out some passed-down junk that they heard from their parents–usually it’s sympathetic, but not sincere, as if they are going for political correctness more than anything.
Remarks like these make it difficult for someone to even broach the topic of their own problems. Not doing so, they often feel alone with their problems, in a world a part.
I think it’s best to have an open mind towards these issues and don’t indicate at any time during your friendship with someone that you feel weirded out or against mental disorders.</p>
<p>I’ve had two engineering courses and one DSOC course today. The DSOC prof talked for about 5 minutes about it, while neither of the other two mentioned it. Meanwhile, we still have a lab report due friday for one of the courses, when the lab is scheduled for monday tuesday and wednesday, along with a prelim for the same class on tuesday. Not really feeling the support from engineering profs here, but I guess that’s life.</p>
<p>My professors said some really nice things - especially one which had a personal experience to talk about… I felt really bad for her. I have heard good and bad about engineering professors; a friend of mine’s prelim was canceled on Saturday and put off for a while so kids could take some time to relax. I think the professors’ responses were really great, but I just feel like something is missing in how this is being handled… but that may also be just because it seems like there really is nothing anyone can say or do to make it all OK for everyone. </p>
<p>One thing I think should be changed was that this year was Cornell took away the ability to take a PE class “not for credit” (auditing, basically). I think they should bring back that option, so students would feel comfortable signing up for a PE class to relax and de-stress without having it turn into a new stress by having to make the attendance policy. I, for one, would have signed up for yoga or some sort of relaxation class this semester if I could do it without worrying about only missing two classes or anything like that (I took boxing last semester just for fun and was close to missing too many classes).</p>
<p>I hope that Cornell’s attempts at reaching out are working, and that students are realizing the opportunities available to them.</p>
<p>Your idea about PE is a good one. I hope you email Vice President Susan Murphy with your idea. I think the administration got so carried away with budget cuts they forgot so basic things, like exercise is important. It also is ridiculous that you have to pay extra to use the gym.</p>
<p>What I don’t understand is whether this is a Cornell specific problem or a matter or sheer size. Obviously with 13000+ undergrads there are higher overall odds of something like this happening as opposed to comparable schools of smaller size. But the question raised is WHY and I think finding the overall cure to this enigma is something to which more resources should be devoted. Changing attitudes through PE is a good idea, but it might have limits. I’m just wondering what is prompting kids to do this, whether its accessibility, classes, weather, whatever, and just hoping that we can change something.</p>
<p>you make a really good point, ChaoticOrder. I am fortunate to be in good mental health, but it’s not like I have made my mind that way, it’s just how I happen to be right now. it is SO important to take those issues seriously. I think right now the focus is immediate: reassure everyone until spring break when we will have time to relax and hopefully have some time of restoration. longterm all of us at Cornell could learn to be better about this.
for me personally, I would feel more comfortable if I knew the right vocabulary words. I would not want to accidentally use an insulting term…like, is saying mental illness OK, or is better to say disorder? does it matter? I know that this is not always obvious, because only a few weeks ago (in a completely unrelated way) I learned that it’s proper to say that someone has “died by suicide” rather than using any other verb. saying anything is better than worrying about offending, but I still think providing the words for otherwise rather difficult conversations would be a good thing.</p>
<p>@annie4ever</p>
<p>I just wanted to mention that I emailed Vice President Murphy, and she said that she was going to bring it up with colleagues. </p>
<p>I just fear that sometimes we only get this caught up in the mental health of the students on campus when something like this happens. I think that we should also be concerned about the people who deal with “lesser” forms of depression, which definitely come with Cornell and external pressures on us (students). That’s why I think the PE idea is a good one, and I hope that it is possible. </p>
<p>I feel like a lot of the emails we have been getting are only targeting the immediate threat of suicide… but the issue most likely starts a lot earlier in a person’s history, and I think we should emphasize changing one’s lifestyle (getting help through professionals, friends, or finding another outlet) when he or she feels any depression, not just the most extreme forms.</p>
<p>there is no judging what caused one to make the choice he/she did.</p>
<p>academics, yes can be part of it. So can family, financial, personal, relationship, etc etc. What most people fail to understand when they 1) blame the cornell academics, 2) blame overbearing parent problems 3) etc, is that these problems add up… exponentially. </p>
<p>Im not saying that parents and academics are not to blame, but the main emphasis is that it is most likely a combination of all these.</p>
<p>most people agree that security/fences/safety nets are NOT a good idea. I dont want to walk around in a school that looks like a prison.</p>
<p>however i do agree on one point. Family. Whatever problem may happen, it is nice to know you can fall back on family. Parents, please make this more possible for your children if you have not already.</p>
<p>pmanliu, parent here (not a Cornell parent), and your point is well taken.</p>
<p>From a parent’s perspective, we worry about you people, especially if you’re far away, and we can’t monitor your mood or drag you to get help. We rely on you to know when you’re getting into trouble and to seek help. If these deaths are hitting you really hard, or if you’re struggling emotionally with school/peers/adjusting to college, or if you’re feeling like there’s no solution to your problems – please please PLEASE talk to someone in the counselling office. I can tell you from personal experience that it helps. If there’s still a stigma, remember that no one need ever know, if you don’t want them to. There is effective help for you, right there on campus.</p>
<p>Finally, my heart goes out to your community. Hang in there, and know that a mom out here in California is holding you in her thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Just posting to express my condolences to the Cornell Community. Three losses in less than a month is tragic. And the death of the wrestler to CA earlier this year is still painful for everyone as well. Hang in there everyone, and support each other during this time of grief.</p>
<p>Calling it a mental illness is preferred. It helps to highlight that there is a biological basis many of these conditions have underlying.</p>
<p>In an effort to destigmatize mental illness, feel free to ask me any questions you have about depression. I feel comfortable talking about my personal experiences with clinical depression, and a lot of people wonder about what it’s like first hand.</p>
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<p>quoted for truth</p>
<p>I am a Cornell parent. This has been a huge shock for the students and parents alike. I also wish to express my profound sympathies for everyone affected by the losses. I see many positives in the responses of the school and on sites like this one. May healing continue.</p>