<p>“the big questions would be A) to what extent does a girl have to be in a sorority to experience this in all its glory, and B) how handicapped is she going to be in rush by being a northerner?”</p>
<p>My take as an observer: A) a significant extent, at least for “all its glory,” and B) not that much if she does her homework ahead of time. Being from out of state and not knowing people can be a handicap. She would need to seek out expert advice from people who really know Ole Miss rush and follow their guidance.</p>
<p>@Hanna is rushing a sorority at Ole Miss so difficult that she would need to seek out expert advice? It seems like most of the women at OU in traditional panhellenic sororities just followed the guidelines sent out by the university regarding rush week. </p>
<p>I’ve grew up in NYC and lived in several cities in the South. What I see as a big difference comes down to the chances of interacting with non-black and non-white people. In NYC, that chance is very high and may occur frequently per hour. While in the Southern cities I’ve lived in, it felt that there was a paucity of “other” people. When I first moved to the deep South in the 1990s, I remember asking myself, “where are the Asians?” I can’t say that I found racism worse at any one region.</p>
<p>My daughter will be attending Ole Miss next year. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would raise a child who would attend that school. Nevertheless, the academic opportunities, the atmosphere, and their National Merit scholarship won her over.</p>
<p>That is my impression, Hanna, although I think her sorority choices would likely be more limited than a local’s, simply because there are so many legacies in-state.</p>
<p>Sorority rush at Ole Miss and Alabama is a big deal. They even have ‘pre-rush’ in the spring (not called that, but that’s what it is). Most houses ‘require’ two recommendations from alums, and if you don’t know anyone from that house, you have to go to the panhel alum group in your town and interview. For 16-17 different houses, this could be a LOT of work to be done.</p>
<p>There are a lot of blogs that explain the process. I think the biggest disadvantage to a girl from the northeast would be not knowing the system, arriving without the outfits picked out, without references for a house she’d like to join. If the girl’s mother was in a sorority in the north, I’m sure the first thing the mother would say is ‘It wasn’t like this when I joined!’</p>
<p>I bet if you posted the names of the houses on CC you’d get alums from each house willing to write recs. I often write recs for girls I don’t know. It’s my mini protest over the system of recs which shouldn’t be necessary since the girls should judge on whether they like the girl, not on what some middle age woman across the country thinks. The recs privilege upper middle class white girls whose mothers went to college. </p>
<p>OP here, taking it all in, and thanking you all for the input. Your comments brought me to the place of thinking this is maybe not so crazy (it was the Bucknell frat boy comment where the light went on), so I did start a “sister” thread (no sorority pun intended) to capture names of schools that would fit the mold, from people who might not make their way down through this thread. </p>
<p>The social side of things sounds rather structured, and to extend back through the generations. Is there much of a chance that a kid who is generally considered likable, but not very outgoing or socially masterful (and not great at reading the tea leaves with people or maneuvering through sticky situations) will fail to make the connections and remain an outsider? I sense that even if you are of the same ethnicity, religion and socioeconomic class, with highly educated people going back on your family tree into England in the 1800s, if you’re a northerner, and your relatives have always avoided the Greek system, you would have to show up and be a quick adapter, standing completely on your own charm and charisma, and compete for the open seats, knowing that people whose families are part of the fabric down there would have dibs on many seats. If so, it’s probably important that we understand this, before going too far down this path with eyes closed.</p>
<p>I know many kids from our progressive midwestern college town who have joined Greek houses at southern schools. Maybe there are a few in which family history and origins matter more than personal attributes, but they are certainly not all like that. Every university with a Greek system has a range of houses–some where looks are everything, some where it’s a plus to be nerdy, some that attract artsy theater types (I was in one of those). Maybe if you visit Ole Miss your daughter can meet some girls and get an insider’s view on what it’s really like there?</p>
<p>It is the goal of the Greek system to have a house for every person who wants one. They set the ‘quota’ of the house (the number of new members it can take) by taking the number of girls in rush on the second or third party date and dividing it by the number of houses, so mathematically there should be a spot of every girl. Some don’t want to join a particular house, but there should be a spot somewhere.</p>
<p>I do think a northerner will find those from the south to be welcoming if the northerner is open to different experiences.</p>
<p>Virginia, Carolina, Clemson, Auburn, Alabama, Ole Miss all have size-able OOS enrollments. And its not like the IS kids are all DARs, SCVs, or whatever. There’s not nearly enough of those to fill up the thousands of seats that these big state schools have.</p>
<p>As Katie Couric describes in the video below, she was an in-state, non-FFV, public high school kid at UVA. Pretty easy to figure things out and assimilate if that’s what you want to do. Or not (which is what Tina Fey did instead). </p>
<p>Further to that, I wonder if the less Greek-dominated college social life that I am more familiar with, in the northeast, is more fluid. At most of the schools we’ve looked at (or attended, in my generation of friends and family) sororities may be available, but you don’t feel like you’re missing the boat if you don’t join. Where the social life isn’t structured through a single thumbs-up or thumbs-down decision that other people make to elevate you, and give you access or not, there may be greater potential for a kid who is a bit slower to make friends, to ultimately make the friends, and have the same access to the social side of life that everybody else has. I surmise that the members of a house tend to form their closest friendships within the house, and be largely occupied with those activities – after all, that seems to be the main purpose of joining. So, if the sororities are very central to the social life of the school, and you’re closed out of that, you may spend your time at the school feeling like you’ve got your nose pressed to the glass.</p>
<p>I really think you need to visit. A campus can feel “Greek-dominated” with only 25 or 30% participation–or the remaining 70-75% can set the tone. From what I have read some of the PA schools are VERY dominated by fraternity/sorority life. That actually turned my son off to a lot of them. But we didn’t visit so I don’t know if our concerns were valid.</p>
<p>Northwesty, you make a good point, but I would imagine that Katie Couric was always pretty adept at getting to know people and presenting herself. By the way, when people say “Carolina”, which school do they mean? I could navigate you through the transit systems of major European capitals on the back of an envelope, but I know nothing about this!</p>
<p>If your daughter could fit in at a preppy soriority at a NE school like, say, Bucknell or Colgate or Dartmouth, she’ll be fine. I’m sure they all have Kappas and Tri Delts like the southern schools do.</p>
<p>UNC and USC folks both get very wound up about calling their school/state the real Carolina. No one else cares. USC has a second brand name conflict problem with USC.</p>
<p>Sally, I can tell you from personal experience that your Pennsylvania concerns were very valid in the late 70s, early 80s. Not sure today. Lafayette, for one, has significantly reduced the number of houses, and I was told that it was with the idea that it would change the social milieu.</p>
<p>fieldsports: If no one has suggested it yet, please check out greek chat. I just googled “old miss sorority rush” and read the story of an unconnected young woman going through rush. I also recommend Alexandra Robbins’ Pledged Good luck. </p>
<p>Lehigh, Gettysburg and Bucknell are all in the top 10…so are Syracuse and Union in NY state. In fact none of the top 10 are in the deep south, according to this:</p>
<p>Anecdata only - I wrote recs for a few girls who had successful rushes at Alabama, but they were already the blonde, pretty, bubbly, outgoing type who would fare well anywhere. I wouldn’t be so sanguine about a more introverted or quirky girl. </p>