<p>My Ds dream school is Northwestern. Got accepted to Medill and wants to study journalism. We have a high (50k) EFC and NU offered loans only -- no grants at all. I honestly can't imagine how we could even afford the $56,500 COA (not even including travel from home in MA), without taking large loans through home equity. We live where the cost of living is very high, and believe me, we do not live lavishly (both my husband and I drive 10 yr old cars, we vacation once/yr in a rental house on a lake, eat out only once or twice a month, and are basically fiscally conservative). Although it is far from home, we have close friends and family in Chicago and Evanston so she is comfortable going there.</p>
<p>She was also accepted to William & Mary, which at $43k COA is at least in the realm of reachability for us. They do not have a journalism major, but she is also potentially interested in public policy, or going on to law school after. Biggest drawback is location -- she knows no on in VA, and is very worried about being that far from home.</p>
<p>Finally, University of Delaware (Honors College) gave her a very nice scholarship, which would ultimately result in 4 years there for the cost of one single year at Northwestern. She threw that application in as a response to a letter from them, as a safety school. We really know nothing about it. </p>
<p>We have 2 other kids coming up too (though she has always been the most motivated, academic, high achiever of the 3)</p>
<p>We are trying to decide whether we should go out on a limb financially to achieve her dream. Will we and she regret forever the lost opportunity? </p>
<p>PS she was accepted to 2 other great schools, but even though they offered grants to cover our need over EFC, the cost is so similar to Northwestern that it wouldn't make enough of a difference to choose them over NU.</p>
<p>From what you’ve laid out here, it seems prudent to select UDelaware, especially because she’s in their Honors program. NU is great, but if she really wants to continue her studies, she might want to consider going to NU for grad school instead.</p>
<p>I’d have to agree, in light of the financial factor.
All other things being equal, NU would be first, W&M a close second and Delaware a distant third, but all other things are not equal. She’ll do fine at Del.; save the money for other kids and/or grad school.</p>
<p>Where do you live? If it were up to me, I would make the middle choice, William and Mary. William and Mary is less expensive than Northwestern and it is just as prestigious. It is an extraordinary place, rich in history and tradition. It is in a beautiful location–how can you beat colonial Williamsburg? It’s really lovely and special and very intellectual. Even if the money were the same, it would be my first choice. As far as not knowing Virginians, there really is truth to the idea of southern hospitality. People are very warm and friendly. William and Mary is not as stiflingly small as a LAC, but it’s not big and impersonal, either. And even though it is Southern, it is balanced and open, not overly conservative. The public universities of Virginia are really excellent–and the best of them are UVA and William and Mary. I don’t know much about UDel, but if it’s too big and impersonal and she doesn’t like it, I wouldn’t necessarily push her to do it.</p>
<p>I also want to mention that there’s a place in Williamsburg called the Chickahominy House that serves the most amazing ham I have ever tasted in my life. I never knew that ham could have so many different sensations of flavor in a single bite. That alone would make me want to send my kids to that college–no joke!!</p>
<p>I really really appreciate all your thoughts. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Endicott – your ham comment made me laugh. Nice to laugh when I’m feeling so stressed and sad about not being able to hold up my parental end of the “work hard and you’ll acheive your dreams” deal. I’m pretty sure we have decided Northwestern just isn’t going to be possible, so we are going to visit the other 2, and hoping one or the other will just stand out to her. I have heard the most fabulous things about W&M, and I know that her gut (and her review of the comments in facebook groups of students from each) is that she would fit in better at W&M, but the distance from home is a real factor. We live in the Boston area. So Delaware is more of a half day drive than a full day. And the comments from the Delaware parents seem very positive about that choice too. It’s just so hard, when kids from her school who in her view have done nothing but drink, hang out and get mediocre grades, are going to schools with more prestige, just because they can afford it. And she so desperately wants to be in an environment where people are serious abuot learning. She has a high GPA, got a 2320 on the SAT (not as a superscore, but all at once), 34 ACT, captain of 2 varsity sports, works part time, etc. etc. I just hate letting her down… (even tho she is not pushing it at all, and is doing her best to make me feel better about it – makes me feel even worse). She even applied to 2 of the military academies, who wanted her, but then she was disqualified for medical reasons. Sigh. Anwyay, thanks again for your thoughts! It really does help.</p>
<p>What2do468/Mom~
I will offer a slightly different perspective in this conversation. Your inquiry did not seem to delineate what your DD wanted. You mentioned it was her dream school, yes? I understand you don’t live the lavish life, and want to make a sound decision. If the most important criteria for you is finances, then you have your answer-Del. If it is trying to find a financial middle ground, then W&M fits the bill. However, if its a matter of $40k for the 4 years, and you pay that off in 10 years, then you may be talking about maybe only a hundred dollars per month to finance that $40k for NU.
Your DD has worked hard, and applied to NU for a reason. Ask her-if money were no object-where would you want to go?
I realize that is a different perspective. We took out loans for our DD to attend NU. No regrets.
All the best-APOL-a Mom, too ;)</p>
<p>APOL, Not sure I understand the math, $40,000 @$100 per month paid off in 10 years? I’m probably misunderstanding your line of reasoning but that is not realistic. OP go Delaware. Ten years from now it won’t really matter where your D went to undergrad.</p>
<p>Don’t understand. If your EFC is $50,000 you must have sufficient income or assets to meet that. The calculation is not random. NU is so superior to the other two institutions, which are fine in their own right, that it would be a shame if she could not attend. Did you not plan for this?</p>
<p>If money were no object it would be Northwestern no question. She was literally shaking with joy when she got the letter of acceptance. But I did the calculations on the $40k over 10 years, using a low interest rate of 4%, and it’s actually $404/month. And the difference between W&M and NU will be more like $54,000 anyway. And we’ll have to borrow more than that to cover the cost.</p>
<p>I appreciate your perspective though APOL. Can I ask, do you have other kids? If she were my only, I would be way more inclined to suck it up and borrow the money. </p>
<p>Also, 4safrontman, i myself went to a state school, majored in zoology because i thought i wanted to be a doctor, and then decided instead to go to law school. I got into the law school of my choice, where I studied with many ivy league pedigreed classmates, and still managed to come out at the top of my class with my pick of multiple coveted job offers (and the only reason we aren’t swimming in money is that I chose fulltime motherhood over big lawfirm slavery). I absolutely know she can do well wherever she goes, and have been preaching that at her since birth. Even knowing that, even having experienced it, I am so sad I can’t give her what she earned. That is why I am struggling. </p>
<p>Plus she wants to be a journalist and where better to get that start than Medill? If she were applying just as an undecided, it would be easier to say – decide at Delaware, not NU!!</p>
<p>Thank you all posters – all of your perspectives are helping me put it in perspective.</p>
<p>Our EFC is high because of a couple of unrealistic calculations – first they base it on AGI, but my husband is an outside sales person with very high unreimbursed expenses. This is not taken into account. I also earn the majority of my income from self-employment. The SE tax is not accounted for either. Finallyl, I get paid irregularly and had just been paid about a third of my total annual income just prior to submitting the FAFSA, which then took that into account as an asset. And no, we did not plan for college costing $56,500/year. We do fine, we’re comfortable, but we are fiscally conservative and fear borrowing beyond our means, which is what we would have to do. Particularly where jobs are so precarious these days.</p>
<p>It sounds like your daughter is a very high level student, so what were you planning for? I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic because I can tell that you are feeling badly about your predicament but the college cost information has never been a secret. I also think that you might be able to appeal your EFC for the reasons you mentioned. Consider something else…will either of your other kids be in college at the same time as the first? If so, your EFC will be split.</p>
<p>Ojective – I had my daughter while I was in school, so I never had a chance to accumulate assets before she was born. Then when she and her siblings were very young, before I gave up full time work, what I was paying for daycare was pretty close to what college cost and I figured they’d keep pace, we’d be fine. As you know, college costs skyrocketed, and I never expected it to happen at this pace. Also, I took about 10 years “off” working part time from my home so that I could be with my kids, no daycare. My husband was laid off at one point, and restarted his career at a lower salary. We made ends meet, but there were no expensive vacations or cars or extravagances. I only recently started working back in a regular office with more hours and more money. And my husband’s job has also brought him back up to a good level of income. So our income increased all of a sudden, but we didn’t have time for planning and saving with what was for the first time in forever a little bit of extra money. I understand what you are saying, though. My kids will only overlap one year each so we’ll get no break there.</p>
<p>Seems like you sort of “fell between the cracks” of the financial aid process based on what you are saying. You can only do what you can do, right? Delaware gets a lot of really top-notch kids in the Honors College because of the circumstances you mention. I think that would be the best option and maybe put some of the difference toward grad school if that is on the horizon. I have heard that if students focus on the Honors College aspect of Delaware they do very well.</p>
<p>Go to W&M. English majors will be better writers than J-school students. The distance issue will be a problem/concern until the nanosecond she moves in the dorm and meets her hallmates. Then it will instantly disappear forever. </p>
<p>It saves you 10k/year and the weather will be infinitely better in Jan/Feb. Seriously though, you cant lose with your options. Congrats on raising a wonderful child.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth: Your DD is smart, hardworking, and motivated. You encouraged your DD to apply to NU. She was accepted. The costs are extreme. However, you will figure it out. You feel guilty, that’s okay. But, not one person on this site can make the decision for you or erase your guilt or panic. Delaware is no match for NU- academically, socially, or culturally. You cannot compare the two. However, you cannot put your family in jeopardy financially or emotionally. You are a bright woman, you will come to the conclusion that works for you, DD, and your family. But the choice is up to you. Good luck!
btw, i am sure that your daughter will be fine wherever she ends up- the experience may differ, but she will succeed-</p>
<p>William & Mary is a great school to be sure. And Williamsburg is a very cool place.
But Northwestern has: a wider offering of academic areas; Evanston and Chicago; (I think) a more diverse student body; and a significantly higher academic “Peer Assessment” ranking in USNWR (4.3 to 3.8), among other things.
One really can’t go wrong with either because they are both so good, and as between such fine schools I would always recommend choosing the one where you feel a better “fit,” but I do think that W&M is just a little shy of being considered NU’s equal.</p>