@liska21 @homerdog Thanks to both (and others) for keeping this thread going. The whole application process puts parents in a bind. Because you can do all the right things that homerdog listed, but because you can do those for multiple schools, how can you ‘prove’ these schools really are your top picks? I wish the common app revealed exactly how many schools (not specific schools) you applied to. It might help schools to know your kid had applied to 3 rather than 10.
The clearest way to show a school is your top pick is ED, but you have only 1 or 2 shots, and are at a disadvantage on fin aid. I like that liska’s D said good-bye to schools that waitlisted her and went to one that really wanted her. Sometimes I get down on the whole process of applying, as17 and 18 year-olds are having to make such a tough decision, and have great grades and and have parents willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars, but the schools can say, no, sorry, no room for you.
Having said that, we are going ED1 with D17, and would be nearly full-pay. It was her clear first choice. She has an EA for second choice, a good match, and she is nearly as excited as going there if ED doesn’t pan out. Both OOS private schools, 2500 miles away. She has a couple of safeties as well she can apply to in January, as I tell her nothing is certain in this admissions game.
I agree with liska that the college financial process is isolating. D17 and D19 are at private HS, but went to publics before that. So we parents do not know the families at private school, which is in another county. Virtually everybody we know is only considering public schools, many with higher incomes. I get the feeling they think we are foolish. And our D13 is at a public land-grant 30 minutes away and loves it, but that is not the best fit for our other 2. So we decided to use a large part of our savings (not retirement!) for private HS and college, for fit and the chance for our other girls to go to college in a different part of the country, to schools most folks in NC have never heard of unless they read through a college guide. And I am still wondering if it will be worth it financially.