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<p>That is one heck of story, TheAnalyst.</p>
<p>I believe I am better off than my parents, but it is a comparison of apples to oranges in some ways. Three of my 4 grandparents were immigrants and the fourth was born shortly after her parents emigrated. All were Jewish immigrants living in NY. My paternal grandfather, who had the temperment and probably IQ to be a Talmudic Scholar, became a high school shop teacher. Their three kids became a Spanish professor (my mother), a lawyer (Harvard Law grad) and geologist. My father’s father was a somewhat unsuccessful businessman in the “haberdashery” business. His two kids became a theoretical physicist (my father) and a math professor and then lawyer (my aunt). Both sets of grandparents scrimped and saved to send their kids to college and grad school. The girls were expected to learn and perform as well. My father was deeply affected by the Depression and always made highly risk-averse economic decisions (including turning down a post-doc at the Institute for Advanced Study for a professorship at second or third-tier university because it gave him a guarantee of tenure two years after getting his PhD).</p>
<p>So, we grew up relatively frugally. We lived in Oxford during a sabbatical and traveled to Europe during that year, but no other fancy vacations. We went to public schools, except for my youngest sister (born much later when my parents felt much more affluent), who attended religious schools. Midway through my childhood, they built a big house in the next town over, a much more affluent town whose realtors wouldn’t show houses to Jews ten years earlier. They put four kids through college, one through law school, (two PhDs were full-ride), and then supported both sisters early in their careers if they were having trouble making ends meet or wanted to live in a nicer/safer area than their salaries allowed them. They’ve continually supported my brother, a sweet man who somehow cannot figure out many of life’s simple mysteries, including living within a budget. For my parents, providing their kids the best education possible was a moral commitment, not just an investment. None of the kids went to state schools nor were we expected to. </p>
<p>I’ve been fortunate to earn higher amounts than my parents for most of my career and have saved quite a bit more (though the last year has not been kind to many investments). My house is in a comparably nice town to the one they moved to and while the house is a little smaller, it is probably nicer. I travel a lot for my work and my family has been beneficiaries – they’ve been all over Europe, Central/Eastern Europe, Mexico (maybe 8 trips), Russia, Japan, China, Australia (twice), Bali, Central America, Canada (many, many times as they are dual citizens and I’ve been on the board of several Canadian companies). I’ve paid for private middle school for both kids, private high school for my sophomore, and do not expect to be eligible for financial aid. I’ll try to pay, as my father did, for college out of current income, though I’ve saved for it. But, I don’t know if I could handle four kids that way.</p>
<p>So, I think we’re better off. We certainly feel more secure than my father did given his Depression background, though I co-own a small business while my father had greater income security as a professor. But, I was always confident that if I had a problem when I was younger, I could count on my father to help. I want to make sure my kids have the same confidence. </p>
<p>Finally, maximizing income wasn’t my parent’s primary value and it isn’t mine. I don’t believe my mother was ever prouder of me than when my first teaching job was at Harvard. I don’t think she was ever more disappointed than when I chose to leave Harvard and enter the business world. But even then, I have chosen to do work that I think is the most interesting and while I can’t complain about my income, I could have made more had I pursued other paths.</p>