Not looking for HADES, not targeting HYPSM

<p>I think OP’s question was a little vague. He was looking for “folks who were maybe looking at BS less as an academic stepping stone and more of a life experience opportunity”. By “academic stepping stone”, did you mean a means to better academic preparation? Because it doesn’t sound like you meant a means to a top college as that can’t be called an “academic” stepping stone? From what I have gathered, many BS families are first and foremost looking at BS as a step up or an opportunity for better academics compared with their local options. Fewer families’ main focus is “life experience opportunity” although that’s inevitably part of the BS deal.</p>

<p>There are many more specific reasons why a family would choose BS for their kids, but from CC I see two main categories. Some families have decent local options where their kids can receive at least passable education and if “done right” can expect to end up in a top college as well. However, they are more <em>ambitious</em> and want more than what they could get from their local options, which is excellent education and solid training in independence, time management skills, social skills and networks etc. from early on. These families tend to have higher expectations about where their kids end up for college because their baseline is higher and they are not willing to “pull back” on college just because they attend a BS. Some other families have poor local options or options where their kids don’t fit in at all. Moreover, top college admission are rare occurrences in their local options. So they are “desperate” to leave for a better school for the sake of <em>NOW</em> more than anything else. College is not as much of a concern to them because as Choatiemom said they believe "college will take care of itself given the preparation BS provides. " </p>

<p>What’s your situation?</p>

<p>I’ll try to take a whack at this one. I’m a third generation BS alum with one kid attending a dream school and another one at a Gem. I also live in an area with a large concentration of kids attending BS, plus I have several nieces and nephews currently enrolled with one more applying this year. Does that make me an expert? No. But I will say this: You are absolutely on the right track when you look at a BS as a life experience, because that’s what it is.</p>

<p>My Grandfather used to say BS is like a hard cold slap across your face. It challenges you to look within- spirtually, morally, ethically all on your own at a very young age. Parents, who focus on brand, prestige, rank or tier, tend to miss this entirely. Ask anyone who every went away to BS about the first night away from home and it’s likely they’ll tell you about staring up at the ceiling (completely scared and all alone) wondering why this was such a good idea. And that’s precisely how it’s meant to be.</p>

<p>It takes a lot of courage to go away to school. A kid will be tested in more ways outside of a classroom than in. Academics aside, kids will have to dig deep to find grit, determination, perserverance in the face of a lot of adversity- not just overtime, but every single day.</p>

<p>So, I think a better question is: Where do you want all this growth to take place? It’s more of a backdrop question to me because- honestly I don’t see a big difference between my kids schools. They’re virtually the same to me in every way imaginable. Maybe that’s why I’m such a strong advocate of Hidden Gems. I believe they’re all amazing and offer tremendous value. I think it’s silly when parents concentrate on only a few select schools and base their decision on academics and college matriculation. Sure, I think those things are important, but I don’t think those two things should matter most.</p>

<p>Howdo… I have gone through the admission process twice with 2 children as FP applicants. First child, similar SSAT scores as yours (only took SSAT once - mistake number one), applied to 3 schools (mistake number 2). We were new to the process and aimed to high. We didn’t really understand how competitive admissions is these days - results 1 waitlist 2 rejections. We decided to go through a second round of admissions (yes this does happen at many hidden gems) in early May - 2 acceptances within a week. It turned out to be a great thing. Our child ended up at a great school in CT, was able to play very high level lacrosse and is now a freshman at a strong liberal arts college playing DIII lacrosse. He received a great education, but the take away for him was more about the experience and being in an environment that was nurturing. </p>

<p>Second child - more seasoned parents - had him take the SSAT 3 times and prep for it. I was amazed at how his scores changed from test to test. He ended up with scores in the high 70’s. We looked at 9 schools - only one HADES. He applied to 6 (5 being big names in the Hidden Gem World in CT and MA and the one HADES as a repeat freshman where he was a legacy) - accepted to 4 schools (even offered a small merit scholarship at one), wait listed at the HADES school and one other. The most important thing was we had choices. We went to revisit days and the school he ended up at is the one that was the best fit. </p>

<p>Our children are well rounded, nice kids. The are both good students and did well in a private day school before applying. Athletics was important to both. They didn’t have a “passion” at age 14 nor did they excel at a national level in an extracurricular. They are just great kids who respect and appreciate boarding school and all that it offers. There are many schools out there looking for kids like this. My advice to you is go look at as many as possible. Good luck!</p>

<p>Chelsea1,
Just a quick thank you as that was a tremendous summary for those of us on this forum whose children do not score in the 90’s on SSAT but are tremendously bright, curious, intelligent youngsters. I’ve learned a lot by reading everyone’s posts, but the one thing i have noticed is the board’s overall obsession with SSAT scores and allowing a 3hr test on saturday morning frame a child’s future. I’m as guilty as anyone, but i’m learning to focus on the overall, rather than the specifics. thanks again!</p>

<p>Agreed, +1 to both PhotographerMom & Chelsea1</p>

<p>I’ve been struggling to reply since we were in a similar situation however I’m not sure exactly what info the OP is looking for. </p>

<p>Daughter was a B/A (not A/B) student, SSATs in the 70’s and not a kid who sought out academics outside the classroom. We actually have a good LPS option but thought the experience of BS would be beneficial all around. She applied to a wide variety of schools (almost none of which are widely discussed here) and was accepted everywhere but chose the school that she felt would give her that “life experience”. </p>

<p>She’s doing things she would never get to do (or even want to do) at home. As for the academic stepping stone, the way I look at it is as true college prep - not just academics which are a given but learning to be independent, manage your time, do your laundry, work it out with your room mate etc - all those things that drag a lot kids down in their first year at college.</p>

<p>For admissions we used a consultant. If you aren’t in the boarding school world of the greater Boston area it can be very daunting. I really didn’t know anything about these schools beyond viewbooks and what I could find on the internet and was terrified about sending my kid off to a school that would be the wrong fit (#1 thing I learned on CC - fit is all-important). Our consultant was invaluable for that very reason plus she was well known/liked at every school we visited.</p>

<p>Most of the valuable info I got from CC was via private message - there are several non-acronym school parents but they tend to post less.</p>

<p>Look at the hidden
For example Asheville has an integrated humanities program that some of the HADES are starting to look at. Their faculty is very caring and they have a required sports program</p>

<p>Just to clarify - posts #23 & 26 of this thread contain the kind of information I was initially looking for. Hopefully I will write my parent statement better than I write my questions!</p>

<p>Thank you</p>

<p>Well I think my son is going to score in the 60-70% range on most recent ssat (December test) and he has mostly As and Bs but some Cs from last year. He’s also in all the honors classes his school offers and is a regular A+ tester with C or lower on homework. We’ve made huge strides with his ADHD and trying new methods but none of this looks impressive. Even if he pulls off an 80% on his ssat this time, he has in practice tests but not consistently, his grades and maybe teacher recs won’t be easy n the eyes…his teachers like him he participates but they might say he’s disorganized. So I definitely fit in the life skills camp and we have a good chance of rejection at the school we visited today. We looking at Proctor also, possibly Kiski (PM me if you have anything to dish on this one. Just now looking into it )I can’t offer data yet but I will keep you posted. Maybe someone else who is past year one will chime in.</p>

<p>I don’t have any outcome to report yet, but I think we’ll be in this camp next year with my daughter. She hasn’t done any practice SSAT tests yet, but based on her performance on other standardized testing, my guess is that her SSATs will be in the 60s or 70s, unlike her older brother, whose SSAT was in the 90s and is now happily ensconced at a HADES school. She’ll apply there too, just in case the sibling connection is enough to overcome the lower test scores, but she’ll be looking at Hidden Gems as being more realistic for her. We’re fortunate in that she certainly can stay at the private day school she goes to now, but it’s a very small school and she’s been there since she was 4 years old. We (and she) would really like her to have the chance to branch out, face new challenges, and have more varied academic and extracurricular opportunities. Whether going to a boarding school ends up helping her get into a better college than she would otherwise if she stayed where she is now is kind of pointless to speculate about, in my opinion. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t – who could ever know? But what I do know for sure is that she’s the kind of kid who will absolutely thrive at and love boarding school. It will be a great experience for her, and one which I know will teach her some important life lessons, regardless of the ultimate college admissions outcome.</p>

<p>FYI- Probably stating the obvious here, but there are many excellent boarding schools with ADHD support. Many schools (including top schools) offer support without saying so in print while others are much more up front about it.</p>

<p>My daughter was/is a 90+ Ssat and straight A student who’s first choice school has a 65% acceptance rate and mid range (60-70 Ssat score) average. She chose her school based on the unique school offerings and life experience potential as well as her impression of the faculty.
She is having a wonderful academic experience and being very challenged. I believe there are definitely schools that can be academically challenging for a variety of students needs while not being so competitive for acceptance as far as test scores etc.
This has been our experience so far anyway…</p>

<p>I am a new poster but have been hovering on this site for over a year. We went through the process for the first time last year and I was clueless. We felt the same though, but got caught up in applying to the known schools. It was very stressful. We weren’t sure if we wanted her to board, which limited us to certain MA schools. Sh wanted to go to Lawrence Academy. We knew alumni, and someone that worked there. She spent a lot of time on campus when she was young, so she has always wanted to go there. I would never have thought of sending her to a boarding school, but when she said that she wanted a better education than the public school could offer, how do you say no? She was an A student with 85 ssat score. We visited and she applied to the other schools in the area, but she was always drawn to Lawrence. In the end, she was wait listed at 3 and accepted at LA. We were disappointed. No one likes rejection. I thought the other schools were better because they were talked about so much. They may be considered better, but they were not better for her. Through the process we realized that the name of the school really didn’t matter. That a private high school education was about a lot more than academics and more about what she would gain from the whole experience. She is off to a great start. She has gained confidence, and already learned some valuable life lessons. She is finding it academically challenging, but not so intense that she can’t enjoy or benefit from the experiences boarding school can offer. I have no doubt that she will be better prepared for college, but most importantly, I think she will be a much better person for going there.</p>

<p>I couldn’t agree more with Wmq333 and HailuMu. My son had amazing stats and chose a Gem. He knew what he was getting into and for him it was all about quality of life. He has an older brother at a “Holy Grail” school and very wisely concluded that the quality of his education wouldn’t be compromised in any way if he went somewhere else. </p>

<p>FWIW- My Gem kid is being challenged on every front every single day. The most important thing to him (and to us) is that he’s happy. Big Name schools don’t always = happiness. I wish parents/students would think about that more. When people ask me about K1’s school, I always say: If your kid doesn’t have survival skills cross it off your list now. Your son/daughter might be very smart (Gifted!), but that school will eat them alive. And that’s the truth.</p>

<p>Another pet peeve is: When I ask a parent: Why Holy Grail School? And I get: Because it’s Holy Grail School! OMG, I haven’t smoked a cigarette in over 25 years, but every time someone says that to me, I want to drive to the nearest Mobil Station.</p>

<p>Adding my voice in agreement here… My daughter chose not to attend the reach school that accepted her, much to the bewilderment of some friends and family. She chose instead a well regarded small gem school , that on revisit day, felt like it could be home. I am so glad she made the choice that she did… She is doing really well, working really hard, and challenged every day, but also enjoying her friends and her occasional downtime. I’m sure if she had attended the reach school, her life would not have the balance that it does. She is happy. And she pointed out to me during winter break that some seniors have been receiving ED acceptances to top tier colleges…what more could you ask for? :)</p>

<p>Just to clarify… By “top tier colleges” I actually meant “first choice”, not necessarily Ivies, et al.</p>

<p>^^This is a great lesson for the college process, too. The most widely acclaimed schools are not <em>necessarily</em> the best for all students and all their different aspirations, and perhaps that’s the case for your particular child. As a parent, part of my duty is to challenge my kids to explore boundaries and consider what might lie just beyond the horizon of the evident…but on the other hand, it’s their journey to navigate, and they need to learn how to captain their own ship. So it’s a fine dance, isn’t it?</p>

<p>PhotographerMom said:
“Another pet peeve is: When I ask a parent: Why Holy Grail School? And I get: Because it’s Holy Grail School! OMG, I haven’t smoked a cigarette in over 25 years, but every time someone says that to me, I want to drive to the nearest Mobil Station.”</p>

<p>That phenomenon on this very forum would drove me crazy for a long time. I guess I don’t have the energy to try and fight it anymore.</p>

<p>howdoipay: You are on the right track, 4 years of boarding school should not be looked at as the stepping stone to one of the top 10 college and universities. There are many people on this board who do look at the options as mere stepping stones. What they don’t realize is their preoccupation with college matriculation stats actually hurts their kids chance of admission if it becomes obvious to the Admission’s office. The top tier schools do not want to be used as a stepping stones, they prefer to admit kids who see the school as an opportunity in and of itself. Pay close attention to the culture of the schools you are looking at along with the composition of the student body. Read the student and parent handbook (usually available on the web) this will provide the kind of information that will guide your decision. You are on the right track Good Luck.</p>

<p>Appreciate everyone’s feedback. As I am sure many of you have found out, just when we thought we were done with the application process we have decided to add a school or two (or three).</p>

<p>Most experienced parents say on CC to “cast a wide net” and admittedly we may not have done as well with that as we should have.</p>

<p>Our philosophy is still that it is about the opportunity BS provides in and of itself. We aren’t looking at where this may lead 4 years from now. We are trying our best to identify the school that is the right fit for our child right now - academically, athletically, socially.</p>

<p>So still a lot of anxiety and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned that March 10 will be a disappointing day in our household. But it could be a wonderfully exciting one too!</p>