Many years ago, I was rejected for a job based on what seemed to be a mutual recognition by the employer and me that I would not be a good fit. Aside from a bit of “I wish I were the type of person who would be a good fit for a job like that,” I haven’t seriously regretted not being selected for the position. I had good grades but didn’t want to make the lifestyle sacrifices necessary for this position and similar ones.
Recently, I have learned that this employer (an individual) had a long history of harassing women and so it has occurred to me that my looks might have contributed to me not getting the job. That possibility doesn’t bother me. Not being smart enough would have been the worst; not ambitious enough seems a given and doesn’t bug me much, other than what I indicated above.
How about you, in a similar situation? You can revise the scenario to have the employer not be a harasser but to consider job applicants’ looks for some other reason. I definitely think now that not only was the job not a good fit but that I dodged a bullet by not getting it!
What would bother me is not getting a job because of my poor social skills. I know that I’m awkward and a bit odd, and I’ve never overcome those deficiencies. I’m sure my personality has cost me jobs.
I’m fine with the other three things. I’m smarter than most people, middling in terms of ambition, and downright unattractive, and all of those things are OK with me. If an employer rejected me for being insufficiently ambitious or ugly, I wouldn’t mind because I wouldn’t have been a good fit for the job anyway.
I would have been most upset about not getting a job because I wasn’t thought to be smart enough. I am average looking and my social skills are fine, but I derive my self esteem from my intelligence. I had not job hunted from age 24 through 47 and the world really changed in those 2 decades. I
I once didn’t get a job because I didn’t give the desired answer to the question, “If you were out on a job site with a male coworker, and the male site manager asked you to leave the room so the two of them could share an off-color joke, what would you do?”
It’s hard to know why you were passed over for a job. I don’t think physical attractiveness is as important a factor as your ability to make your potential colleagues feel you are one of them. People hire those with whom they feel comfortable. They hire people that they instinctively feel are their “tribe.” I have seen this dynamic play out in academic hiring numerous times. It’s why, although in general I get annoyed at PC, I think some affirmative action hiring procedures are beneficial because they encourage hiring bodies to look beyond what makes them comfortable personally and consider what might make the organization more effective at its mission.
I didn’t get a job with a very famous architect, because I realized that an office that was full at 6:30 on a Friday evening was no place for a woman with an 18 month old at home. I’d have enjoyed working there in my 20s, in my 30s not so much. I’ve been hired at least twice because of my Harvard degree even though I didn’t study architecture there. (Once for a summer job by a guy who “only” went to a CSU. He figured I’d be a quick learner even though I had very few useful skills. I’ll forever be grateful to him.
Not ambitious enough? I’m dependable to the extreme, but not a big talker. It’s hard for me to exhibit obvious enthusiasm, so I don’t always make the best first impression. I once heard interviewers talking about me after I’d left an interview. (I was out in the hallway/leaving the building–the walls were very thin. ) They said I “seemed bored with life.” They laughed, said other negative things about me. I was crushed/mortified, and always remembered those words. Obviously I didn’t get the job. I haven’t interviewed for many jobs in my life–I think that was the only time I wasn’t hired. I’m intelligent enough and above average in looks. I’m not bubbling over with energy/creativity, though. Not a leader.
I haven’t had a job interview in a very long time. The past two predated Skype, and were at odd hours over the phone due to time zone issues. I was sitting in my bathrobe for both of them, one after sleeping for a little while and one very early in the morning. Looks certainly weren’t a factor, I hope smart and ambitious came across, but one can’t be too sure over the phone sleepy wrapped in blue terrycloth, lol. Got the jobs though.
IMHO since LinkedIn emphasizes people upload their pictures, screening based on looks, race, etc. are becoming more prevalent. Once you get to the interview, you may be able to overcome those initial judgments but many people won’t get to the interview because someone clicked on their LinkedIn profile and didn’t like their image.
I haven’t been interviewed for decades but I do the hiring. Appearance does matter but only to a certain extent for office jobs. I’m not judging quality or fashion but clean and appropriate. For field reps I do want more professional.
For me I don’t need the smartest, the most ambitious or the most attractive, I need reliable, attention to detail, flexible, and someone who believes in our mission and has a customer service mindset.
I also switch up who gets to be in on hiring and have multiple viewpoints because I believe people tend to hire people they relate to most and not necessarily who will do the best job. And that’s not just gender or race but I like to have a diverse staff who have different strengths and skills.
I once was turned down for a job because there was already someone with my first name working there.
And I worked in a small office once where we were looking to hire an additional person. There were only two of us (females) and the boss (male) at the time. A young lady with previous experience applied and came in to interview. While she was with the boss, the other staffperson, who had been there years, told me that she knew the applicant would not be hired because she was overweight. Sure enough, she wasn’t. The boss eventually hired a cute, blonde, college student for the job.
I was once involved with hiring a manager that would report to me. I interviewed someone that was eminently qualified and had a personality that would fit with the group - but - she was overweight and unattractive. Unfortunately, the other members of the hiring team (all men that I reported to) felt she wasn’t a good fit. I am certain it was because of her looks.
I worked in engineering for twenty years. HR would tell female candidates that there were few female engineers. Well one in 400 is certainly ‘few.’ We had a capable, ambitious, attractive female candidate come in for an interview for a senior engineer position. At lunch she told us her hobbies were deep sea fishing and triathlons. 30 years ago triathlons were only for serious jocks. Everyone down voted her. Why? They couldn’t imagine working for her in a year or two because she was too capable, ambitious, and attractive for them to compete with.
Our oldest works for a consulting company, one of the better jobs available to business majors. In his opinion, they hire based on three qualities, though he wishes they would invert the priority:
Attractiveness
Personality
Computer skills
They also tend toward the top business schools in the country so there is a bias for intelligence built into their recruiting. They hire engineers who they keep locked in the basement. None of this is unusual for consulting firms.