Not sure what I want to do anymore

I might just be having a little freak out, but I have no idea what I want to do anymore.
I went one year to a university studying Pre-Med biology. I transferred to a small community college to get a certification as a Surgical Technologist so my resume would look better, I’d have medical experience, and so I could get a decent paying job in college. One reason I had to move was because my roommates couldn’t have me staying there anymore (they were getting married and wanted a place of their own) and I couldn’t afford an apartment on my own. Plus, I didn’t want to burden my mother with more loans to take out.
But now I’m having second guesses. I love so many things. I love science, animals, the medical field, space.
And now I’m comparing myself to my older brother, who’s about to go to law school and has had nearly a 4.0 all three years of college. Granted, he didn’t work during his college or really even his high school years and I’ve worked since I was 15 to help my mother pay bills, and in college I gave her money or left it at her house when she wouldn’t take it. Our family had a lot of hardships my first year of college, and I was always there for my mother. I don’t want to be a disappointment, and I want to do something amazing like my brother is.

What helped you to decide? What can help me figure it out? Has anyone been in the same situation I’ve been in before?

Really you already sound more amazing than your brother who didn’t help out. Plenty of law grads can’t find jobs. Take some time if you need it.

Don’t compare yourself to your brother. Like @gearmom said, you sound pretty amazing yourself, for different reasons. Did you finish your certification? Can you find a job so that you can support yourself and continue progress toward your four year degree? Continue to love the things you love and explore them if you can afford to do so. Life isn’t a race, and there’s a lot more to it than GPAs and looking like you are doing something amazing. Keep on learning and keep on being the person who cares about others, your mother especially, the rest will unfold.

You might not remember advice columnists Dear Abby and Ann Landers (semi-interesting trivia fact: they were identical twins), but one of them published a letter many, many years ago from a person who was 30. They wrote I am 30 and want to be a doctor, but I first have to finish 4 yeas of college and 3 yeas of medical school and after that, I will be 37. The response was “And if you don’t fulfill your dream and go to medical school, you will still be 37 in 7 years so go for it.”

If you want to be a doctor, go for it. Work hard, take the core classes and work on getting a good GPA. Start to review for the MCAT now. Consider talking to admission directors at smaller programs now. In the alternative, consider becoming a PA or an NP. The time required is shorter and the accrued debt may be smaller.

You sound like a son any mother would be proud to call her own, whether or not the word Doctor appears before your name.

Good luck.

@techmom99 @NorthernMom61 @gearmom thank each and everyone of you. That really does make me feel a lot better, and you guys encouraged me to call my own mom and discuss this all with her (which is hard as I hate bothering her with this type of stuff and want to be strong for her especially in recent times) Ill take my certification test at the end of May! Then ill be applying for part time or ‘as needed’ jobs as either CST in the OR or SPD. I’ve decided to back to university and finish up my bachelors. I’m applying right now!