Not sure what to do

Applying to College
41

Williams is the quintessential (along with Middlebury) bucolic rural New England LAC. Williams offers tutorials. It has been the #1 LAC for some time according to USNews.

Amherst is part of the Five College consortium – you could also take classes at Smith, Mt Holyoke, UMass and Hampshire. Amherst offers an open curriculum. Amherst has been #2 for some time, and they probably hate Williams because of it.

You got into the Harvard and Yale (Princeton, Stanford…) of LACs. Let that sink in.

Colby is a top-20 LAC in Maine. Colby is known for having a very happy vibe. Colby is maybe the Vanderbilt (rep-wise) or Dartmouth (environment-wise) or Brown (satisfaction-wise) of LACs.

Even if you hadn’t been admitted to the top two LACs or another awesome, happy, top-15 LAC, you would still have Stony Brook.

Your cup is full. Choose on fit and finances.

42

@snowleopard2022
prezbucky and the others are correct. you got into the 2 top “Ivy League” liberal arts colleges.
You hit the jackpot!
There are students who would KILL to be in your shoes right now!
There are a LOT of lower income students at Amherst, so you would not feel alone fincncially.
Whatever you do , try one of those colleges. If you aren’t happy after one year you can always transfer to StonyBrook.
But you want to…
congratulations on your amazing outcome!

43

I will definitely consider posting in each college’s subforum once I have some more specific questions after I visit soon. I’m still trying to consider my options openly, despite your excitement!

I guess providing this information will help you guys understand my “fit,” so yes I’m pretty sure I have social anxiety and it’s not good. I’m not active at all and barely had any extracurricular activities to put down (now I’m really surprised at my acceptances). Though, I really enjoy learning and doing those activities whenever I do them. If I do speak at school, it would probably be a few words and I would definitely stop before expressing my entire thought. I barely get away without a heart attack if I have to do a speech or presentation, but I’ve managed to avoid most of them recently. And you can take your own guess with friends.

With what I’m saying a gap year may sound good, but I think I would end up doing nothing. I’ve always been a few steps behind everyone and discovering something right when everyone around me is prepared. For some reason, I feel that it would leave me farther behind. Going back to my initial post, I really do want change and don’t want to stay at home, and especially not go to college at the same time.

The other idea does seem good. If everything really doesn’t work out at Williams or Amherst and if Stony Brook would easily accept me as a transfer, then coming back would probably be fine. I do have a feeling that I may want to attend one (or both) of the LACs as you guys are saying. And for more info (I hope it’s not too much) I would consider myself more of science person than anything else. It seems that there is not a big difference with regards to the sciences and pre-med advising at these LACs.

44

All colleges should have free counseling services on campus, though you will undoubtedly have an easier time accessing them at Williams or Amherst. No matter where you end up, you should definitely take advantage of them if you think it will help you adjust and cope with your social anxiety better. Colleges want their students to succeed because they like to keep their freshman retention rate high. To Stony Brook’s credit, it has a pretty good retention rate for a public uni.

45

The tutorial system at Williams might really be transformative for you, in terms of providing a supportive incubator for you to develop your voice and your skills at connecting with others around ideas. Tutorial meetings pair you with one other student and a professor, which would give you a laboratory for bringing your ideas and your obvious self-awareness into a facilitated dialogue. This is the unique feature that most distinguishes Williams from Amherst and other top LAC’s, so it’s definitely something to look at, as far as whether it’s an experience you want. https://www.williams.edu/academics/tutorials/

You must have written stellar essays, as stats alone would not get you into these schools. This kind of environment might provide the bridge you need as far as letting other people into your “life of the mind.”

You might also think about seeing a professional in the months before college begins, if you have not already, about your social anxiety issues. You would probably be eligible for supports and accommodations that could be helpful to you, if the issues can be properly diagnosed ahead of time. Having your needs fully documented could enable you to customize your living situation to be healthiest for you (for example, a suite of singles, where you would have suitemates so as not to be isolated, but also have your own space, might be ideal?) as well as putting counseling and/or other supports in place from the beginning, to help smooth the adjustment to both the classroom and social aspects of college.

46

^ Agree. You’re a fine writer, snowleopard, no hint of the anxiety you describe. Yes, you may flourish with the right attention to your intellectual side. So take a good look at W and A, take enough time there.

You can look into activities they list (clubs, volunteer, visiting lectures, etc,) to get some idea of what the social life offers and activities you may be comfortable with. It’s one way of seeing the climate and your choices, especially if you’re not into parties, etc. (At her college, one of mine hit the library on Fri and Sat nights, plenty of others there, too.)

47

At Williams or Amherst, you will be able to have close and supportive relationships with your professors and advisor. And this might be especially beneficial for you. My students often come by my office during office hours just to talk about a book they are reading or a summer trip they are planning. And several have come to me to explain their difficulties not only in courses but also in their personal lives. I’ve helped them get an extension on a paper; I’ve met with the student and another faculty member; I’ve set up tutoring; I’ve helped them overload into a course; I’ve walked a student over to our counseling center; I’ve visited one at the hospital; I’ve picked up a student at the airport. The small, intimate environment of the LACs will provide this sort of nurture and care.

48

@Lindagaf I have a question for you because you seem really knowledgable and reasonable about LAC. I am a math and science loving student and plan to major in engineering. I like the idea of smaller classes and relationships with professors, but I have heard that even the few LAC that offer engineering programs (Tufts, Trinity, Swarthmore) don’t have the best reputation in the field or produce the best hiring results. I was thinking of possibly being an applied math major or chemistry major at a fine LAC and them doing a masters program somewhere. Right now I am considering some smaller technical schools (RPI, CWRU, Rochester) but just curious about more traditional LAC.Still sorting things out, but was curious if you or any others had any advice. Thanks. And sorry if I am posting this in the wrong place.

49

@sable999, Please start a separate thread to ask your question so you don’t detail this one.

@snowleopard2022, Will you be able to attend the student acceptance day at these colleges? One of my son’s college visits was an overnight at one of the SUNYs. He decided he loved the school but he didn’t want to dorm. He commutes there and loves it. Being able to spend a couple days on campus was a huge help to him. If you can arrange a visit to each campus, it might help you decide which feels right for you. I agree with your point that if you try one of the LACs and decide you don’t like it, you can transfer back to Stony Brook. But I would definitely try to spend some time at each campus before you make a decision.

50

Sorry @austinmshauri …tried to remove it but can’t seem to figure out a way to delete.

51

Show your parents the Forbes college ranking and the US News and World report national liberal arts college rankings. Both rankings are available online; just Google them. Then your parents will see how amazing the reputations of Amherst and Williams are, and they will begin to understand the difference between these colleges and Stony Brook.

I live on Long Island and have taken classes at Stony Brook, having grown up right next to it. It is a fine university. But classes are huge, the campus is huge, and there are a ton of commuters (like you would be). There will certainly be some bright students at Stony Brook, including two very smart students I know who will be in Stony Brook’s Class of 2022 because it was their safety school and they were rejected at all their other options, and a third very smart student who chose Stony Brook from the beginning as his top choice. Would you be in the honors program?

In terms of your anxiety about leaving home and meeting people, you should know that colleges like Williams and Amherst often have a freshman experience designed to help all students connect with other students and feel at home. I know Williams better (I went there, and my son is going), so I will speak about it. At Williams, you will begin your experience by selecting an Ephventure orientation program, where you will spend a few days interacting with a small group of other arriving freshmen. Then, you will live for your first year in an “entry”— a dorm with 19 other freshmen and two junior advisors. This will give you an instant group of people with whom to hang out, eat dinner, etc.

The other thing about Williams and Amherst is that all their resources, including support services if you want them, are unparalleled. They take good care of their students, at no additional charge.

You mentioned an interest in science. Science is a strength of Stony Brook’s. If you want engineering, Stony Brook makes more sense. But if you want another science, note that for 25 years, Williams has had the most professors receiving National Science Foundation research grants of any liberal arts college, and, for 20 years, its alumni have won more Apker Awards for undergraduate physics research than any other college, period (as per their admissions brochures). 200 paid science research positions are offered on campus every summer— a high percentage of the 2000 students total.

I think you can get a great education at Stony Brook if you really “go for it” and make yourself known to your professors. But a student who is more shy or introverted, as you describe yourself, may actually have an easier time at Amherst or Williams. Professors there look out for their students. They will reach out to you about opportunities they think you will enjoy. It is easier to get amazing opportunities at A or W than at SB, but certainly you can do so at SB, too, with initiative on your part.

Congratulations on having such great options! You should attend Admitted Students Days at all three colleges if you can, and see which feels best. After all, you will be spending four years there, so you want to feel that your choice is right for you. Williams may be willing to pay for your travel to their Admitted Students Days, on April 23 and 24, so ask their admissions office about that if cost is an issue… although if your family has a car, it is only about a four hour drive from Suffolk County.

Good luck and congratulations again!

52

My parents have a general feel about how good these schools are now that they took me on a visit (though they still want to see SBU). W and A do seem much better than Stony Brook, as you guys are saying.

Thank you for the specific info. I wasn’t accepted into the honors program or WISE, so I guess that special consideration won’t be there. I will try to go to the admitted students day as well because I really didn’t see a huge difference between W and A. Amherst just has more stuff going on near it. They both have great opportunities for research and are beautiful.

The students emphasized that a lot of professors have a genuine care for them, while it seems that some SBU professors may not care for anything but research… It may be a stereotype, but that situation wouldn’t be nice. I think there are also groups that advocate for mental health at the LACs, so that’s also good.

I appreciate your recommendations and I’m trying my best to get some help. Also, my writing is definitely not good enough to be complimented!

53

I’d give your comment a like @snowleopard2022 , but I think you are a good writer, so I won’t.:slight_smile:

How wonderful that you got to visit both colleges! Please update us when you make a final decision.

@TheGreyKing , excellent, helpful post. Great point about the school perhaps offering to pay travel expenses. My D was accepted to some colleges that did the same. OP, you can call the admissions office of each and ask if there is a possibility of being compensated for gas expenses.

Should add, Amherst has a freshman adventure too. The girl I mentioned earlier really enjoyed it.

54

“while it seems that some SBU professors may not care for anything but research… It may be a stereotype, but that situation wouldn’t be nice”
Stony Brook is a University, where many profs have graduate students under neath them and are required to do research. W and Amherst are Liberal Arts colleges, where there are no graduate students and the profs are focused solely on their UG students.
THAT is the BIG difference, when it comes to prof- student interactions.
You will be better taken care of at W or at A than at Stony Brook.

55

Listen, I grew up poor in NYC many years ago. I had always planned on going to Stony Brook, but during college night at my HS representatives from all of these great colleges came and told us that if you can get in, they’ll make sure you can pay for it. Not knowing about preferences for first generation college students, I applied and got into MIT, with just about the same deal as you.

It was really life changing, though very difficult. I met brilliant people from all over the world, from all different walks of society. I don’t know what I would have been like had I gone to Stony Brook, but I doubt I would have found the inspiration I found from my friends the way I did at MIT. These brilliant folks are still some of my best friends and my life is so much richer for knowing them.

Right now it’s hard for you to understand the benefits of going to an elite world class school like Williams or an Amherst but I can assure you, it will likely be life changing in a very positive way. Don’t pass this up. Stony Brook is always there for you if need be. Go visit both schools and choose one. You really owe it to yourself to take advantage of this opportunity.

56

I probably won’t make my final decision for a few weeks (I’m really indecisive), but I’ll try to make the best decision for me. Also, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea at this point, but I completely discounted Colby and it was mentioned above that it is a good school. The reason was that they offered me the designation of Presidential Scholar, which means a paid research position and possible grants. I feel that my reaction should have been the opposite.

I also forgot to mention that I was waitlisted for a few colleges (NYU, Wellesley, and Haverford). Do you think it is worth it for me to accept the waitlist offer? I don’t think it is disadvantageous in any way because I’m still not sure about where I will end up. Though, I read that a lot of other people are on a waitlist and it’s their last chance to get accepted into a college.

I think I see the opportunity at W and A that you’re talking about and I hope it will be as great as you say it is. Just to add… I was practically at MIT for 3 months, until I got my decision :frowning:

57

There’s always grad school, for MIT :slight_smile: Given what a big transition this will be for you, going away to college at all, I think a top-notch LAC is a better choice for you anyway, for now. (And I say that as someone who went to MIT at 17 - back when getting in was a lot easier! - and could definitely have made a better choice vis-a-vis my socio-emotional development. :smiley: It’s an amazing place but nobody ever described it as “nurturing.”) However, if taking classes at MIT is really The Dream for you, go ahead and take the spot on the Wellesley waitlist - nothing to lose, right? You can cross-register at MIT as a Wellesley student, so it could be a best-of-both-worlds scenario. Just be aware that for most elite schools, rates of acceptance off the waitlist are ridiculously low. They waitlist thousands and accept only a handful, if any, depending on yield. Forget NYU - they are known for stingy financial aid, and there’s no way they’d be unexpectedly generous when pulling from the waitlist… and anyway I can’t imagine why you’d choose NYU over your current choices. Haverford is a great school, but it depends if it has a particular appeal for you that your already-accepted schools don’t have. If it feels like just one more comparable option, then don’t bother. On the whole I think it’s better to err on the side of letting waitlist schools go, because the uncertainty is more destabilizing than it’s worth; but Wellesley definitely has some different attributes and perks vs. W/A/C, so there are reasons you might want to keep that iron in the fire. But if you do take a waitlist spot, do what you need to do (letter of continued interest, etc.) and then put it out of your mind, and make a decision as if the waitlist school(s) were not a factor. You will need to commit to one of your current schools in the meantime, because waitlist offers won’t be made until later, so that remote possibility shouldn’t factor into your planning unless/until it happens.

Colby is a good school - if it were Colby vs. Stony Brook, I’d be #teamColby for sure - but if you’re up for cold and remote, I tend to think Williams wins in terms of sheer intellectualism and taking faculty mentoring to the next level. Plus, Colby is nearly twice as far from home for you vs. the MA colleges - don’t underestimate the difference this could make, as far as knowing you can take a weekend at home to regroup when you need a break, or just have your parents come up for a visit -W/A could be a day trip for them, but Colby would mean ~7 hrs on the road each way plus hotel costs. I think you’re likely to be able to get funded research gigs at any of your schools, but definitely ask and compare - just don’t be over-influenced by the “named” scholarships per se.

Absolutely take your time deciding! :slight_smile:

58

Of the schools you mentioned, I went to one and my sister went to another. We both didn’t love our large high schools but found that the smaller colleges we attended allowed us to make amazing friends who we still make a point spend time with today. The smaller schools often allow for depth in relationships formed with peers and professors. I will repeat what others have said- you have been blessed with good fortune in the quality of education that you are being offered. I would grab one of the SLC offers and never look back.

59

I personally see zero point in staying on the wait list at the other schools, unless perhaps you have a burning desire to go to Wellesley. NYU seems like the opposite of the type of environment you want… Haverford is lovely, but sooooo small. You said you are indecisive. Why add more fuel to that fire? And it seems you have a conscience, so I would not accept waitlist offers, esepcially when you have so many great choices.

Colby is a great school, and it sounds like you were offered an amazing package. If you add Colby back in, I no longer insist that you choose Williams or Amherst :slight_smile: I am a big fan of the Maine NESCAC colleges. Is it as good as the other two? Not in terms of prestige and recognition, I guess. It’s probably a little more laid back than the other two. I will call on @gardenstategal whose son attends Colby. Maybe she can give more practical info about academics and life at Colby.

60

I’d go to the revisit for accepted students. The environments at Williams, Amherst, and Colby are a bit different and one may feel particularly right. They are all excellent schools (so I don’t see anything gained from holding out for a waitlist position.)

The Presidential scholarship at Colby is a great opportunity if you are interested in research. Students work hard there bUT it’s not cutthroat. You should look at the course catalogs for all and figure out if there are meaningful differences. Colby has distribution requirements which some students love (great chance to do more sampling in college before picking a major) and others hate ("I know what I like at it’s not fl/science/etc…) I love the Maine schools – they seem to foster tight communities and friendships that last a lifetime – one of the benefits of not having a nearby city siphoning energy off campus. But ymmv.