Note of Caution, Part II

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
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<p>For the record:</p>

<p>In my original post on this thread, I did not single out anyone nor point fingers at anyone. I was simply pointing out that for some reason this year, for the first time in the four plus years I have been on CC, the UNC threads and that of several other schools for that matter have taken on a mean spirit and have been filled with comments laced with an apparent anger, for lack of a better descriptive.</p>

<p>It truly saddens me that what is supposed to be and up until recently had been an open forum designed to help others through the minefield of the college application and acceptance process has degenerated into such a negative and sometimes angry site.</p>

<p>Going back to that original post I said:</p>

<p>“One thing that everyone needs to keep in mind when dealing with a completely anonymous public forum is that there is no way to assess exactly who is responding or what their real motivation is.</p>

<p>There have been previous posters on these and other schools' boards who have changed their CC identities after being rejected by those schools. Sadly, they did nothing but spew venom and misinformation.......” NOTE: I should have followed with…. "SOMETIMES".. .pretending to be very unhappy current students…." I never said that were not some unhappy current students on the forum, nor that there are no unhappy students at UNC (I am not that naive), just that not everyone is what they seem to be.</p>

<p>I continued with…. “CC has become a great asset to many in trying to navigate through the college selection process. Since everyone can remain completely anonymous the real trouble though is sorting through what is REALLY the truth and what someone wants you to believe is the truth. In other words, there are many agendas being presented here and the difficulty can be in determining which are genuine and which are hidden.”</p>

<p>In the interest of fairness I also said: “Is UNC absolutely perfect for everyone?....Certainly not. Is it a great school with involved, caring and happy kids with lots of school spirit in one of the best college towns in the US ....Yes....”</p>

<p>And lastly I also said: “No one is forcing anyone to attend, we're merely trying to point out what you might be missing...the choice is and should be yours; not your friends nor your teachers, but yours." (Which was really the main thought behind the whole thread by the way)... </p>

<p>I went on to say...."Please take everything negative and malicious being spewed on this thread and on the threads of other schools with a VERY large grain of salt....you will be the better for it."</p>

<p>I concluded with..."Good luck with whatever decisions you arrive at and I sincerely hope that you are happy now and after four years.”</p>

<p>PLEASE NOTE: I was not and am not talking about people like ahduke or other current UNC students who have their own issues and opinions based on their own real experiences. Their thoughts and feelings are valid and should not be dismissed. In the four plus years I have been on the UNC threads comments like theirs have clearly been in the minority and since we are talking about balance it is important to show all sides. Does this make their comments or those of others refuting them any less valid.?......NO....just remember they are just the thoughts and opinions of a few people on BOTH sides of the issue.</p>

<p>I was honestly surprised at how angry the responses that were stirred by this thread became and the fact that even some parents didn't read what the real intent of the thread was which was simply.....take it all (good and bad) with a grain of salt because you really don't know the agenda behind the comments....</p>

<p>I had hoped it would merely shine some light on just how absurd the whole process has become; if people on any school's thread (and it IS happening on others I assure you) would deliberately try to poison others decisions to attend ANY school because they were angry about their own negative acceptance decision, then sadly the whole good intent of this forum has changed in a way that I am not sure is a healthy one.</p>

<p>I believe that my time on the UNC boards has finally run its course and this will be my last post.</p>

<p>I sincerely hope that each of you find the answers you need to help with your decisions and remember please, they are YOUR decisions....and that wherever you choose to attend that you are happy wherever you finally end up.</p>

<p>My respect, admiration and interest in all things UNC (and no, I am not a UNC alum by the way...in fact they were an OOS rival) will keep me lurking at least for a while. For those still interested in my opinions, feel free to PM me.</p>

<p>Good luck to all.</p>

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<p>eadad~I, for one, am very grateful for the time you have taken to help me learn and understand a number of things about UNC, and to answer my questions and concerns in several pm's. Thanks for all of your posts--I know others have found them to be very helpful, as well!</p>

<p>S2 has revisited all his schools, and has decided on UNC! When we were at Explore Carolina 2 weeks ago we heard many of our own questions asked and answered, and S2 was practically floating back to the car by the end of the day. On the drive back we knew that he was excited about his decision, and relieved that the anxiety and turmoil of the process was over! We know it is the right decision for him, but that he probably would have been very happy at one of his other schools, too! It is a very personal decision for each student, so we think that visiting is essential!</p>

<p>Again, Thank you so much!!</p>

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<p>eadad,
I have to agree with irishforever. Your posts have been some of the most helpful ones that I have read throughout all of the forums on CC, and have given me insights into the whole application that even current UNC students could not have given me. Thanks for all the help. Unfortunately, I'm still undecided about where to go, but UNC is still one of my top choices. Anyway, thanks for everything.</p>

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<p>eadad, I sent you a PM, but I wanted to also state on here how helpful and informative you have been. You took time to answer many questions of mine when my son was considering transferring to UNC. I thank you very much for that and hope you will stay around to help out the next needy person.</p>

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<p>I wish to give a public THANK YOU to eadad for his careful, thoughtful and ,most importantly, POSITIVE feedback regarding the University of North Carolina over the past year. Last March 31st, our son was making the biggest decision of his life. His choice to attend UNC was the best choice he could have made for himself. Our OOS son is sooo happy at UNC. The first opportunity we had as parents to visit campus was last fall at Parent Weekend. Our overwhelming impression was just how much the folks at Carolina love their school. Deeply. We fell in love as well. Eadad please know that you made a difference in this family and I suspect many others as well. My heart ached over to loss of your son's dear friend. Our condolences. Thanks again for taking the "highroad" on this forum and speaking only to things you actually had first hand knowledge of. Your wisdom and your son's experience helped paved the way for us "rookies" in this complicated world of college as it is today. Best wishes to you and yours.</p>

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<p>eadad - Our family owes you so much...your help has been absolutely invaluable to us. Frankly, I found some of the responses to your well-intentioned post appalling, and confirmation that things HAVE gotten a bit meaner on the ol' UNC Board. I've concluded the grapes are exceptionally sour this year....and all I can say is 'pleeeease don't go!!'.</p>

<p>(Btw...my d is an oos junior who absolutely loves UNC. Was it easy that first semester or two? Most of the time yes, sometimes no. Leaving home is difficult! But feeling out of sorts or homesick are NOT things unique to any particular school. You have to push through those feelings.... and if you are open to new experiences, before you know it you will adjust!)</p>

<p>And to everyone here, please don't think I'm invalidating the unhappy experiences of a few. I feel very badly for those who are having a hard time. But I do believe hanging around an internet forum revisiting negativity does nothing to improve a bad situation. And it is irresponsible if this constant examination of the negative causes those seeking balanced advice to attach more weight or importance than is appropriate to experiences that are the exception not the norm. </p>

<p>Ah well... I've always said...sometimes the truth brings out the absolute worst in people.</p>

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<p>hey edad. I encourage you to reconsider your decision. I am in a similar postion to you on the PSU boards. I have a happy son there and I try to give incoming students and parents some info - all the while recognizing that I don't have all the answers or a full picture. I got attacked on a similar thread last year - but have hung in there. I'm not a cheerleader type, and like you, try to provide balanced info. I also agree that it's helpful to point out that postings need to be taken with a grain of salt. Those of us who have been here for a while tend to build up some respect though...
It's clear you're providing a valuable service here. Maybe take some time off... but then come back to help again some time in the future! Just my two cents.</p>

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<p>Eadad, you and jack helped me out so much last year with my decision and about the process in general. I've always looked to you to weigh in on tough threads. Good luck to you and your son.</p>

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<p>Eadad, I was one who was disappointed the direction the thread went in finger pointing and specifically singling out individuals for disdain. I know you did not do so.... you have always provided a balance to students who post here (even those singled out,) and done so with advice, and compassion. Your original thread was very on point....</p>