@Tperry1982 yes yes yes! I agree that the kids need to take some responsibility, but why would you risk something like that? Sit down and do it with them, if you want them totally involved, but don’t depend on them to understand the different types of retirement contributions and healthcare deductions and investments…
I would never let my children prepare the FAFSA because my salary and assets are none of their business, at least at this point in our lives. I told them what I could pay (a SUNY tuition), told them what that consisted of and then helped them do the math between the SUNY cost and the privates.
@techmom99 I’ve always believed in minimizing the amount of money in my daughter’s name. While I love my daughter and she is responsible and brilliant, she hasn’t reached her full emotional maturity. There’s nothing worse than a teenager with the power to make really bad financial and life decisions. Financial control is some of the only leverage that we have as parents, to impart the little wisdom that we have gained to our disbelieving children. I don’t really care if my daughter knows what my wife and I are worth, as long as she understands that while we’re living it’s ours.
While I’m committed to funding her education the metrics have always been clear. A private school would have to be within a few k of our state schools and the school would have to be of a similar quality. In the end the private schools my daughter was accepted to failed the first and the jury is out on the second metric .
FAFSA was a complete waste of time for us because as longtime homeowners (with equity) we were excluded from financial aid even with modest income. I’m now happy to stick with state schools and I’m happy to report that while revisiting the schools my daughter is starting to appreciate how good they are. A little more than two weeks left to commit to one and if she takes after her parents it will be the furthest from home.
Old-parent, just for the sake of others reading this, the primary home (with equity) is not counted by most schools if you live in the home. And it is not on the FAFSA at all. So I am a little confused by your post. I hope this misunderstanding does not affect anyone’s school choices!
@compmom I believe we ran into all of the schools that were the exception. Our equity was the factor that determined that my daughter did not receive need based aid according to two financial aid offices we contacted two weeks ago. I’ll name names if anyone pms me. I apologize to everyone for the confusion but the financial aid process inclusive of the FAFSA was a wasted effort for us (and in retrospect the entire private school hunt and application process were as well.) We also received one of the oddest offers from a financial aid office. They said that our daughter could spend a gap year at the college, earn approx 30k and then use her AP and IB credits to perhaps graduate in three years. When my daughter was in her most reactive phase, I seriously contemplated sending her into indentured servitude.
I just wanted to make sure others who are new to this process knew that generally speaking the FAFSA and financial aid in general don’t take into account a primary residence, regardless of equity 
I just want to encourage people to explore their motivations for considering private colleges when the cost of many of those colleges has risen to 70k per year. Assuming you receive no need based aid and your child’s receives decent merit aid, Are you willing to pay 40 to 50k or 70k without merit aid? Are you willing to go into debt to do so? Given the alternative of a very strong public university system, I was not. I can assure you that my wife and my combined incomes are modest, and so you may be in my shoes. Given that my daughter applied to multiple private schools each with supplemental essays, some with additional financial forms, and many with interviews that she had to prepare for, I think for many people like me, it’s better to avoid going down this road. This is not sour grapes, it’s a personal risk/reward assessment. There’s probably a lot more productive things that your child and family can do with a few months of effort. Of course I have the advantage of hindsight, but that’s exactly what this thread is about.
Very sorry and excuse my ignorance but I confused FAFSA with the common application used by private schools for need based aid.
Most of the high end private colleges require the CSS in addition to the FAFSA.
FAFSA does not count home equity, but CSS does.
Note to Self: "You did good. You led the kids to colleges that fit their tastes, without forcing anything. Sister and brother had completely different preferences, and you let those guide the searches. Not a single college appeared on BOTH of their application lists. You accepted that the artist was going to do art, the “intellectual’ was going to do core social sciences. While you played a major role in constructing the lists of colleges for consideration, the kids did the choosing among the colleges they were admitted to. You didn’t let the perfect become the enemy of the good. You put up the dough. They graduated in 4 years. Done.”
Biggest note to my past would be: Trust Naviance scattergrams. If your (or your child’s) circle falls in a field of red Xs, don’t try and figure out a reason why you’re special, and what you see right in front of your eyes is untrue. Move on, and look at schools where the scattergrams land your circle in a field of green squares (safety), mostly green (match) or occasional green in a field of mostly red (reach). The scattergrams from your HS are far better predictors than the sum of all the “chance me” threads on CC. Only caveat would be that this is most true when the HS graduating class is large enough to provide reasonable data on the schools you are interested in.
I just want it to be clear that my D steered her whole college admit process and did all of her paperwork and apps. Most adults can’t do financial paperwork very well. This is not the time to teach a kid how to be responsible. It is not their money that is being sent to the school every month. Now, as she applies to grad or law school, the financial ball is in her court.