I hear you! I am currently thinking it’s equivalent to: If I eat 4 Oreos for breakfast, is that the same 200 daily calories as if I eat one at 8 am, noon, 3 pm and 7 pm? 
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I drink a cup of coffee with a small amount of milk (NEVER sugar) first thing every morning. I usually have a second, then I’m done for the day. It’s part of my ritual and I look forward to it.
I never drink it past noon, though. Then I won’t sleep at night.
I have the four cup size of French press which actually makes three of my size cups. I drink two in the morning, one with lunch. I sleep terribly, but I don’t think it’s the coffee. Nevertheless if I really want a coffee after dinner I make it decaf. Just in case.
To answer your question, the same amount of caffeine is released regardless of amount of water. But it isn’t actually, “the longer tea is brewed, the more caffeine will collect in the water”. I found out from my OBGYN while I was pregnant that the vast majority of the caffeine is released in the first 30-45 seconds of steeping tea. So (shudder, please, all tea purists), I would steep tea for 45 seconds, throw it out, and then re-steep to get my morning tea in. Could I have just purchased decaf tea? Yes, but it was easier to just keep using the tea that my husband and I both liked.
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I am sensitive to caffeine so if have it it’s one cup in the morning half caffeine and half decaf mix. My wife can tell when I have caffeine or even a diet coke. It changes my mood and not always for the better. It can also effect my blood pressure in a negative way.
When I do tea it’s usually green tea. I just put a bag in my travel cup and go for a walk. I don’t steep it and take it out. I only do that if at a restaurant. I know, it probably wrong. Lol.
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I drink coffee 
n part to stay away from food. Fortunately it doesn’t keep me from falling asleep.
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My husband used to drink so much caffeine. Diet Coke instead of coffee.
Once he broke that habit. Switched to caffeine free Diet Coke after noon, it changed everything.
When he has caffeinated beverages, he can fall asleep but doesn’t stay asleep. Long periods of wakefulness in the middle of the night.
He had night sweats, those went away.
In short, caffeine was doing a number. Not in the way you might expect but in other ways.
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I used to drink a lot of coffee and Pepsi. About 25 years ago I went on a trip with my wife and in laws. About 3 days into the trip I got a terrible head ache. I tried everything and nothing helped. We went to the grocery store and for some reason I was craving Pepsi. I bought a two liter bottle took it home and drank nearly all of it. The headache went away. They used caffeine free coffee and didn’t drink soda. I was going through serious caffeine withdrawal. I’d never experienced it so it didn’t occur to me that it could cause the headaches. I eventually weened myself off of soda of any kind due to kidney stones (that was 20 years ago and haven’t had a kidney stone since). I drink a lot less coffee now but stay aware of the coffee I do drink.
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We don’t drink any kinds of soft drinks (other than carbonated water from our SodaStream. But, I am a coffee addict. For almost 20 years, I’ve had Italian super-automatic espresso makers. On waking up, I make a latte with two shorts of espresso for me and no sugar and another for ShawWife (or vice versa). It is part of our ritual of caring for each other.
I have a second one when I head upstairs to work, which I put in a double-walled heat-sealed cup for working. A third after lunch and usually a fourth at about 3:30. (ShawWife stops at 3.). This is definitely not too much for me.
I used to fast for Yom Kippur, but got a horrible headache and was not in any shape to reflect thoughtfully about my wife. So the choice between coffee and thought reflection: thoughtful reflection won. Now the only time I forego coffee in the morning if for medical tests or surgeries, but even there, I can often have black coffee/espresso.
Agree with @illneversaynever – that’s an incorrect assumption. Almost all the caffeine is released in the first 30 seconds. Leaving a bag in longer may increase the tannins and other flavors but no more caffeine for you. I am sensitive to caffeine and sometimes drink the second steeping from my husband’s loose leaf teas because no caffeine.
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