<p>I found CC about a month or so ago during a search involving research of a LAC. At first I was happy to read the posts, in particular, those about the college visits. But the more I read on CC, the more anxious I have become because I confess....my D is not a Type A overachieving individual. Before I started reading CC I was proud of her mostly A grades in her challenging courses and her commitment to her two time consuming EC's. However, the more I read about the apparently superhuman students on CC who must never sleep or just hang out..I have begun to feel insecure about her ability to get into a LAC with any merit aid.
I am beginning to think the best thing for me would be to stop reading the CC posts so that I reduce my stress level and go back to feeling good about my daughter.
Is anyone else the parent of a non type A student?</p>
<p>Holliesue…I am the parent of both. Read what helps you here, ignore the rest. Your daughter will be fine. Every child is so different and there is a college for everyone. When I started on these boards, overachiever daughter had the HYP in her sights. Her stats are still competitive for those schools, but her needs and desires have changed. Plenty of non 4.0, 2400 SAT kids get into the big schools all the time and LAC’s are no different. Search around and the right college will come into focus. (One that meets her academic and financial needs)</p>
<p>holliesue - don’t quit CC, just stop reading the posts from kids!</p>
<p>the ones from parents listing their students umpteen achievements and super scores are also stressing me out! I think partly it is that where I live there is not a lot of chatter between kids and/or their parents about the college search. I am the most obsessed of any of the parents I know, and I pale in comparison to what I read on CC. My d’s friends rarely talk about colleges. I think it is just the culture where we are. Big on sports here (not my D though!) so if there is talk about college it is in regard to athletic scholarships!</p>
<p>holliesue:</p>
<p>One of my Ss sounds like your D. He got into some great schools (we did not seek finaid, but I believe he would have gotten some at schools to which he did not apply). He did not have a single dream school but he knew he would be happy attending any of those to which he applied (he had difficulty choosing come April). Your student sounds like one who will get into a good variety of schools. The important thing is to make sure that she will be happy to attend one of them.</p>
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<p>Sorry, I think you belong on CC, because this describes almost all the kids we CC parents have! 
But if you were smart, you should back away from the computer and not get hooked on CC–because it can get very addicting. Just see different threads in the Parents Cafe about the subject–written confessions from those of us who are not in denial.</p>
<p>Don’t know where you’ve gotten the idea that CC students are superhuman and never sleep or socialize. You’ve probably been taking student postings without the grain of salt required. Don’t get me wrong–there are Type A students [AND parents] on this board, but most here are just regular high achieving kids who are passionate about an EC or two. Sounds like your kid.</p>
<p>One thing that CC gave our family is a reality check of what the actual college admissions landscape was. It was much, much tougher than we imagined!! We thought that our mostly A student with 2 time consuming ECs and great test scores would be a shoo-in at any university in the land. After reading post after post on CC about how students like her were rejected in droves from super-selective universities, we also were stressed at first. </p>
<p>But being forewarned is forearmed–we crafted a list of colleges that included safety colleges that she would be happy to attend. And in the final tally, she was accepted at most, rejected or waitlisted by the rest. But we were prepared. And that made all the difference in the world.</p>
<p>So tone down the stress level…I don’t see why reading about others’ achievements would make you not feel good about your daughter as a person. If it makes you realize that your daughter’s achievements in high school may not give her surefire access to some of the super-selective LACs in the nation, then that is good because it gives you the ability to plan her admission strategies to maximize her results. Believe me, ignorance is not bliss in this instance.</p>
<p>So if you want to dial down the stress level, do what many of us did–start making your list of colleges from the bottom up–find a safety LAC that your daughter would LOVE to attend and that she would be likely to get substantial merit aid. This school often takes a lot of looking to find–but once you find it, your daughter can apply to any college in the universe, sure in the knowledge that if all those other schools reject her, she’ll have a great place to attend college in the fall that her parents can afford.</p>
<p>Holliesue, you’re seeing a very small sample of parents and students on these forums and yes, it can be intimidating but remember that thousands of kids go to thousands of colleges every year and the vast majority have never read or posted here. I, too, had an anxiety ridden moment shortly after I started reading/searching several years ago. About the same time a girlfriend’s D got into 3 of the “top 10” reachy/dream schools that people agonize strategy for admittance for months on these forums. She’s never seen this forum, her daughter never heard of this forum and the D is as “normal” as normal comes albeit bright as a whip. Perspective is important. As the above poster said, read what helps you and ignore the rest. There is tremendous wealth of knowledge among the parents and the scope and depth can be amazing if you get beyond the “chance me for the Ivy Leauge” type posts and the kids who post so much that can’t possibly be “doing” all those ECs they claim! Be selective and you’ll be fine. Learn how to use the search function. Stay away from the kid forums and follow the parents. It took me about six months to figure that out.</p>
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<p>Not sure where one cross over from achieving to overachieving. Seems to be in the eye of the beholder. There are plenty of people who think my DS is an overachiever based on grades and scores, but he spends most of his time on FB or XBox, sleeps less than he should because he’s messing around and not because of school work, and never studies for a test. I personally think he’s rather an underachiever. </p>
<p>Having said that, he is competitive at top schools and is applying. CC helped us think seriously about matches/safeties and make a good list and avoid the fate of a kid from his HS who last year applied to Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Duke and Caltech (counting on reasonable but not stellar athletic skills) and went 0 for 5. I act as DS’s reality check and information source for the app process with things I’ve learned here. </p>
<p>We’re getting an EA result in a few hours from a reachy reach and I gave him a talk last night about ‘we love you regardless of the result, don’t define yourself by your college app results etc.’ (learned from CC) and he rolled his eyes at me.</p>
<p>I was able to diagnose my kids medical condition based on a thread someone started in the parent cafe. That was awesome. :)</p>
<p>thanks for all the comments.
I guess when I think of overachieving I mean the posts I see with kids with amazing gpa’s almost perfect SAT’s , tons of EC’s and they are agonizing over whether they are good enough!
My d is more of an underachiever…loves to watch movies instead of studying. stopped battling with her because it is her life after all and she is the one who will have to live with the consequences of her choices and actions.
At any rate, I will keep all of your suggestions in mind and use CC selectively.</p>
<p>My son definitely does not have the Type A personality you describe. He’s easy-going and has great relationships with his teachers and his friends. He has good scores/grades, but they don’t run his life. He loves his ECs, but mostly because all his buddies participate in them too. </p>
<p>The mistake you may be making is reading all those stats that students post. Colleges do not make their decisions about acceptances strictly on those scores (see the thread called overexaggerated importance), but that’s what students tend to share.</p>
<p>come for the college advice, stay for the recipes in Parents Cafe.</p>
<p>holliesue: you could always stalk the parents 3.0-3.3 forum…sounds like your daughter is too high an achiever to post though, but it may bring you back to reality…</p>
<p>I happen to have one child who makes yours look like a rocket scientist based on your description and I’m on CC daily…different strokes for different folks…</p>
<p>like others have said, come for college advice (and then try to help those who don’t have the support at home/school…)</p>
<p>Your generalization of “overachievers” who don’t sleep or “hang out” sounds somewhat bitter. Exactly what do you define as overachieving compared to what your D is doing?</p>
<p>Come to the parents forum. We’re a fun bunch. Most of us don’t bite. 
(mom of Type A and Type B)</p>
<p>Oh, yes – more consumer products advice than Consumer Reports! Great support groups! Free recipes!</p>
<p>1.There are several threads for parents of students who are not straight A students. </p>
<p>2.There are also a lot of threads that are somewhat universal. A lot of parents have kids stressing (or not!) over acceptances, roommates, social situations, etc. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>The students who do have high stats are not “superhuman”, they are human. The parents are the first to admit this.</p></li>
<li><p>The parent cafe is a great place for getting/giving advice, sharing stories, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>I usually get at least one good laugh a day.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>In defense of the OP, I think I share her perspective. </p>
<p>Yeah sure there are definitely some naturally brilliant relaxed 2400 scoring students and their parents on here and no one is personally attacking you. </p>
<p>But the reality is if you read CC, especially at the outset, what jumps out at you are the endless posts that read “I have just a 2350…do you think I should retake for a third time?” or “I’m working on my 13th and 14th AP and its death…” or “My daughter cried for three days when she got a A- in calculus because she was leading seven clubs this term”</p>
<p>THAT is overachieving Type A. And there is a period on here when that is what you notce and read over and over and over again (since its so bizarre in real life) and you come away with the sense that, if your relaxed balanced child was thinking of going to HYPS, you can forget it unless he or she also has the anxiety/perfectionism/ocd/personality (fill in the blank by your own interpretation) to get there. That the competition is not about brightness or talent, but about raw grinding driven by anxiety and many many many years of strategic planning, coaching, and prepping, as if one was training for the Olympics.</p>
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Take a load off your back, get yourself a Stressless.</p>
<p>My child maynot be a Type A student but her mom is type A(ADHD that is) :D.
Why am I on CC? I can’t spend time outside doing my favorite EC(because it’s either too cold or too wet), I might as well spend my time here.</p>
<p>OP: I’m not going to parse your words; I completely understand what you mean. My D also had what I thought were outstanding grades & scores in a rigorous program as well as a demanding EC. My first visits to CC were unsettling to say the least; her 4.0 weighted and 1950 SAT felt like flat-out failure in some corners of this board. If this was the applicant pool, what chance did she stand of getting into a good school? But reading those posts eventually had the beneficial effect of getting us to broaden the search beyond the top-tier brand names, and at the same time, focus much more narrowly on just exactly what D was looking for in a college. As a result she ended up at a wonderful school which we’d never heard of.</p>
<p>I’d stop reading the Chance Me threads. Those are mostly responded to by other high-schoolers, and why they would have any earthly idea about a fellow high-schooler’s chances is beyond me. Also, I’m not entirely sure but that some of those threads aren’t a bit inflated; in fact, I’ve read threads where the poster is openly confessing to padding the resume. It also helps to remember that many of the students who post here are highly UN-representative of applicants in general. Don’t be intimidated; remember your goal is to help your D find the right school for HER, and her choice may not be one which would provoke oohs and ahhs on CC. That doesn’t matter in the least. :)</p>
<p>However, there is a ton of good info on CC, especially from parents. They were extremely helpful to me when I was trying to figure out the financial aid process, for example; and making a shopping list for D’s dorm room, the best way to send care packages, student health insurance options, choosing the best loan, and most of all, offering support and suggestions when it looked like she might not even finish out her first semester. So take advantage of the good stuff here, and ignore the rest.</p>