Verbatim what every admissions officer has said. Thank you. We’re 99% confident for Feb.
Super helpful advice. Though there’s no shame in being the odd man out 
my wife will vouch for my immaturity
I agree about the colleges with grad students. I think you would find Mudd & CC to be less than ideal socially. The colleges may feel the same way, I would be surprised if they would admit you, honestly. Mudd is especially big on “fit”.
Alternatives off the top of your head ?
He needs to look up the scholarship restrictions for UAz. Their webpage suggests that their OOS awards are for incoming frosh who are coming directly from HS.
Sounds like the UCs have favorably changed their FA guidelines. However, likely the CSUs have not (they don’t have the endowments that UCs have). So, check to see what aid you’d get there. I suspect nothing but loans.
He will probably have CA residence. It looks like as an adult, if he lives in CA by this December, he is good for Fall Semester 2016 as in-state. I know that does not mean he will get good FA, though, or be eligible for all the various Cal grants (I don’t remember what they are, I am not from CA).
I was also thinking USC as long as you can get financial aid. When I attended in the late 80’s, lots of people in their mid-20s who had done a stint in the military were going there. I don’t know if that’s still the case, though.
Many of the universities have married student housing, which is normally used by graduate students - sometimes with children, but is definitely open to you. Your work record and test scores are very good too but it will likely be difficult for your wife to work with a small child and no family help. I’d look around at the UC’s - UCSD because it is close to family but also UCLA (even if you dislike LA) , UCSB (not the best for engineering though) and UCB. Your other option is to take the CC–>UC or CC–>CSU route. Going to school for the first time at 27, almost 10 yrs out of HS can be a real shock but also great fun (I did it 25 years out!). You are likely to have forgotten a lot of math and science so some serious refresher work will be in order.
Also look at publics/privates that have good aid and good physics/engineering, and have some non-traditional students. Since your wife can work remotely anywhere, she can ‘instantly’ become a state resident so you may qualify for in-state tuition after a short duration.
Some other options with decent FA or in-state tuition, physics and engineering:
Penn - non traditional program (forgot the name)
Michigan State (Nuclear Physics)
Michigan
Rice
Ohio State
Thanks to everyone for their comments. I’ve removed CC and Mudd from my list. And added, Arizona, USC, and two more reaches with good FA: Harvard and Princeton.
Any more views will be appreciated