I honestly don’t remember any place to put info on where parents went to school back then. It doesn’t matter. But I think it just asked what level of education parents had. Clearly the form has changed. I had nothing to do with this. I was proud of my daughter honestly. She made me think about the whole thing.
The real point is, how special do we think we are, and does that specialness mean we should do extraordinary things to get into Harvard? How would we feel if we found out that phone call by our GC meant another more deserving person did not get that spot, because he or she went to a large, inferior school? Do we really want to be that person? I recently read a book about the moral downfall of Goldman Sachs. It is easy to see where those attitudes come from.
And the other point is that it is simply unhealthy, even sadly desperate, to put so much effort into getting one school. If a person who is deferred wants to put that much energy into getting in on the second round, I suspect motives for applying have more to do with prestige than substance. I think it is much better to enjoy high school, get applications in for other schools, and wait until April just like everyone else.
Now, if you won an international violin competition this month, or had a new approach for research on cancer published, by all means let them know.
I really don’t mean to sound holier than thou, and know I do, but over time, with three kids now in their med-to late twenties, and about nine years here on CC, I have had time to think, and I think that different attitudes about these things will actually result in less competition and less suffering.
@compmom Thank you for that. I couldn’t agree more. (Although I had no issue with my kid listing legacy info where applicable – just don’t think it’s going to make much of a difference one way or another.)
It honestly breaks my heart to see all these kids turning themselves into knots to get into a few highly selective schools. If you have the chance, and can thrive there, great, but with so many other options, it seems a shame to put this much emphasis on it. If you’re qualified for a brass ring school, you’re probably going to excel wherever you land (with reason, obviously).
And I say this as someone who attended one of these highly selective schools back in the day. Sure, it was a great opportunity, but it wasn’t THAT great, and, frankly, I didn’t thrive there. I would have been so much better off elsewhere, but didn’t have the sense to see that at the time. A school full of anxious strivers is … a school full of anxious strivers. MAYBE it’ll be great for you, but quite possibly not. A little perspective goes a long way.
@compmom , I’m sorry to say I beg to differ. Last year, Harvard accepted fewer than 2,000 out of more than 37,000 applicants (substantially worse odds than when your kids were applying). Given the large numbers, there’s an inherently random element to the process and a large number of those rejected were interchangeable with some of those accepted. You simply can’t say who is more or less “deserving” than anyone else (or assume the admissions office will agree with you); it can come down to the order in which someone’s application was read at the admissions office, the personalities of the adcoms advocating for different candidates and any number of factors entirely out of an applicant’s control. It’s not like there’s a divinely-ordained ranking of applicants, and by using whatever advantages they have, someone is disturbing the universe. I would argue that every applicant has the right to use any ethical means at their disposal to promote their candidacy (obviously, this doesn’t include any tactic specifically aimed at sabotaging someone else). If you truly believe that you’re one of the thousands who have the qualifications for Harvard and that you and the university would benefit from your being there, why wouldn’t you try your hardest to get in? Frankly, if Harvard is looking for students who are going to be influential in their chosen fields and in society at large after they graduate, I would think they would prefer students who are prepared to advocate for themselves.
Hi @gibby - thank you so much for all your advice! I was deferred from Harvard but fortunately I got an offer from Oxford Harvard is still my first choice though, and I was wondering in my update letter, should I mention the Oxford offer? I’m not sure whether it would make me more or less appealing as a candidate. Thoughts? Thanks x
^^ Congratulations! Many a Harvard grad goes on to study at Oxford and it’s definitely a peer school, so I think the benefits of mentioning your acceptance outweigh the negatives. And hopefully your acceptance will make Admissions re-examine your file with an eye towards what Oxford saw that Harvard missed.
I would upload a letter to Harvard’s portal including your offer letter from Oxford. I would also fax the same to doubly insure that your letter is brought to the attention of your regional admissions director. Something along the lines of
I think this could actually hurt your chances with Harvard. It will make it seem like you have a great other option that you may even prefer. And I think it might seem annoying for a person who is deferred to try to use the Oxford admission to try to influence them. I honestly think the above letter is pretty off-putting.
I say keep your application in at Harvard and wait for the roll of the dice just like everyone else.
I’m not in the least bit surprised to find that Compmom disagrees with me.
When my son applied to college five years ago, he was accepted to 10 out of 11 schools. His only rejection was at Harvard, where his sister was attending. My daughter wrote Marlyn McGrath a letter wanting to know why her brother was rejected but accepted to so many of Harvard’s peer schools including Yale, Princeton, Brown, Dartmouth etc. My daughter received a very nice hand written note back from Ms. McGrath basically saying “We’re not infallible, we make mistakes every year, sometimes hundreds of them.”
If a student has been accepted to Oxford, but deferred at Harvard, then Harvard missed something. They made a mistake. And chances are, with 30,000 more RD applications, that mistake will not be caught.
Last year slightly more than 100 students out of a pool of more than 4,000 deferred applicants were accepted in the RD round. If the applicant does nothing, as Compmom suggests, it’s definitely a roll of the dice for them in the RD round – specifically a 2.3% roll of the dice, which are just terrible odds.
However, if a students accepts that their Harvard deferral is equivalent to a rejection – and for 97.7% of deferred applicants it is – then a student has everything to gain, and little to lose, by letting Admissions know of their Oxford acceptance.
If a student has been accepted to Oxford, but deferred at Harvard, then Harvard missed something.
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Not necessarily. Both schools get more qualified applicants than they can accept. Sometimes it’s a roll of the dice – or different set of admissions needs.
I agree. If Admissions wants something else, and a student doesn’t have it, then a rejection is certain no matter what happens. However, letting Admissions know of the Oxford acceptance might change their mind.
As you asked for opinions, I am voting with the ‘don’t flash your Oxford offer’ crowd, but also voting with the ‘re-contact the school’ crow’. If Harvard is still truly your very first choice think about why that is (and if it’s just for the prestige, think some more). Really, what is it that -for you- means you are ready to walk away from Oxford? think how to write that- from both a ‘why Harvard for me’ and a ‘why me for you’ perspective. Then write that letter. If you have some additional achievement that has come in since your application was submitted, include that.
Oxford is enough different from Harvard, and selects on such different criteria that it is not uncommon for people to get into one but not the other. I honestly think that trying to play one off against the other is more likely to backfire (if it was financial aid packages, though, that would be different- but there, both sides would have already asked you to choose them).
Congratulations on the Oxford offer, @sansculottes. That’s a great achievement. To what course did you apply, and to which college?
I completely agree with @collegemom3717, for what it’s worth. Count me in the “re-contact” but “don’t flash your Oxford offer” crowd, too. If you do mention it, I’d be understated about it.
I have mixed feelings about this. I agree that Oxford and Harvard probably don’t accept a lot of the same students so an AO at Harvard may read about your acceptance and say “Enjoy Oxford”. On the other hand, if you don’t anything meaningful to update Harvard about, your chances of making it from the deferral to the acceptance pile are pretty slim because they’ve already been through your app and essentially passed on you for whatever reason. They’re looking for something more or that they overlooked the first time around so as long as you are low key about the Oxford acceptance like @renaissancedad said and you make it perfectly clear that you will you will unquestionably choose Harvard over any other offer as @gibby recommended then you should probably give it a shot because you really don’t have much to lose. So, I’m in essence agreeing with all sides in this discussion
If 2% of the deferred applicants get in during the RD round, to look at the math properly one would need to break out hooked applicants as well as those who GC went to bat for them to then see the acceptance rate for those who simply “rolled” the dice.
@sansculottes first and foremost, congrats on your offer!
Secondly, if I were in your position I would quite simply ask myself: how badly do I want to go there?
You got accepted by one of the finest universities in the world based on your own merit…Oxford wants you. The only reason I would imagine you choosing to stay in America is if you need financial aid.
Anyway, at least you don’t have to stress for the next three months or so!
Harvard is still my first choice though, and I was wondering in my update letter, should I mention the Oxford offer? I’m not sure whether it would make me more or less appealing as a candidate. Thoughts? Thanks x